Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

My accuser keep on sending me crustaceans cards

68 replies

Bearwithbee · 06/12/2023 13:29

Please, bear with me, English is not my first language. But here is my story.
I do run my own successful business with clients coming, with waiting list, it's well established, often recommended, I am well known in my area, ect.

We live in a nice quiet area, I am friends with my immediate neighbours, I do know some of the other neighbours, but I not all of them and I am bad with remembering faces.

A couple of years ago my regulatory body made an announced visit to me when I have found that someone made a malicious and not true complaint about me. Nothing came out of that visit, as I did not break any rules and was able to prove that the allegations were false. But the whole situation was very unpleasant.

I have tried to find out who was the accuser, but I have been told that it was an anonymous call. I became weary and I did not feel safe, as I knew that there is somebody out there wishing me harm, but I did not know who and why. I felt so vulnerable.

I did share with my neighbours what has happened, but they were baffled too. A few month passed and as I was chatting outside to one of the neighbours, they told me that that the woman who used to live across the street, opposite my house, and now moved out, confessed to them that she did made up that complain about me and my business. I can't express how shocked I was! I saw her face to face maybe once or twice in my life, just outside, just a hello. I even can not remember her face! My house was quite a distance from her and I would not think I have crossed her way in any way.
I would not have a slightest idea why she would want to harm me either. Never mind, she was gone, as she moved house.

Another few month passed and then I received a Christmas card from her, with her full name and address in there, she did send these cards to all the neighbors. This was so weird. I did put it in the bin and have decided to ignore the whole situation further. I guess I just thought I never hear from that woman. Obviously she has not got a clue I have found about her doings and for some reason she is wanting to play a very caring/attentive ex neighbor.

Today I have received another Christmas card! Honestly, I saw red, this is just so crazy.
So I just wanted to ask, would you do anything in this situation, would you respond any how, and if you would, how would you respond? A very big part of me is so wanting to forget about all the politeness and send her a card with everything I think about her🤪

Please, talk to me. Please, tell me what would you do.
Yabu - just ignore it
Yanbu - respond somehow to stop her from ever bothering you

OP posts:

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 06/12/2023 14:19

ImSoHappyILiveInAWorldThatHasOctobers · 06/12/2023 13:47

Write her one back, tell her to have a "crabby Christmas" 😁

😂😂😂

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 06/12/2023 14:21

I'm with PP, you have no idea if the women who moved was the one who reported you. Why would she send you Christmas cards if she hatred you that much. More likely to be the neighbour who blamed her.

stealthninjamum · 06/12/2023 14:22

Best autocorrect ever 🦀 🦞

It was an awful thing to do op but assuming the complaint was by the neighbour who moved away I’d just assume she had mental health problems and wouldn’t want to engage with her. I’d throw the card away.

ApricotLime · 06/12/2023 14:25

TellerTuesday · 06/12/2023 13:48

Just as much chance that the neighbour who told you was actually the one that reported it and the ex-neighbour was a good scapegoat as they were moving.

Just chuck it in the recycle bin.

I agree with this.

LittleGreenDragons · 06/12/2023 14:25

Bin the card.

Don't assume it was her who reported you, personally I think its highly unlikely. More likely to be the neighbour who told you.

Forget it all and move on.

Please link to crabby cards she is sending.

ApricotLime · 06/12/2023 14:26

Were there people coming and going to your business that left her with no parking space?

honeylulu · 06/12/2023 14:29

Crustacean cards eh? How shellfish of her. What did she accuse you of? Watching prawn films at work? Prancing around in scampi underwear?

(Sorry I'll stop now.)

Either your other neighbour fibbed and she isn't the accuser or her card sending is rather two faced. Perhaps she's one of those people who believes she is a good person and was doing the right thing and now she still sends you a Christmas card to prove to herself how very nice she is.

meganorks · 06/12/2023 14:31

YABU to do anything about it. You have absolutely zero evidence this woman has done anything and are just going on heresay. You yourself say you can think of no reason why she would. And it would be absolutely nuts if it was her and she is now sending you Christmas cards!

More likely, the neighbours you initially spoke to were the ones who complained. When you spoke to them they panicked you were on to them. So when the other neighbour moved out, that gave them the perfect scapegoat.

At least that scenario is as plausible. Neither might be true. It could be someone else entirely. Nothing came of it. Just try and forget it and move on.

Anonymouseposter · 06/12/2023 14:34

I would keep an open mind about whether it was actually her that made the complaint. The other neighbour might not be telling the truth.

Bottleup · 06/12/2023 14:35

All sounds a bit fishy to me.

MindfullyAmazedHorse · 06/12/2023 14:38

Also slightly disappointed about the lack of crustaceans 🦞

I think it’s highly unlikely that the card-sender made the complaint.

She is probably just being genuinely friendly and has no idea anyone even made a complaint about you.

Enjoy the card & maybe send her one back?

Igmum · 06/12/2023 14:43

It's grim but thank heavens you were able to convincingly prove your innocence. Yes, take the high road and rise above it. There's nothing you can do about it without turning yourself into the bad guy and making things worse.

And more 🦀🦞please

HollowEgg · 06/12/2023 14:46

I’m just grateful there weren’t prawns in them.

Devonshiregal · 06/12/2023 14:48

One of three things has happened:

This woman is crazy.
This woman was annoyed with your customers coming and going on her street (if you have customers come to your house) so tried to get you shut down.
Your neighbours made the accusation and told you it was her because she was leaving so you wouldn’t suspect them.

Whichever, ignore the card and keep your eye on what you say to your neighbours from now on.

SlightlygrumpyBettyswaitress · 06/12/2023 14:56

I would do nothing. You have no proof that she did it. The neighbour may well have made it up.

QOD · 06/12/2023 15:15

Read right to the end just to see these crustacean cards. What a let down
🦞 🦀

SweetFemaleAttitude · 06/12/2023 15:19

I honestly thought this was going to be something to do with someone accusing you of giving them Crabs 🦀 😂😂

ChoupetteTheCat · 06/12/2023 15:29

QOD · 06/12/2023 15:15

Read right to the end just to see these crustacean cards. What a let down
🦞 🦀

Me too

Original poster

Bearwithbee · 06/12/2023 15:30

Just reading your responses, thank you .. Yesterday I have misplaced my reading glasses, hence such a funny typo😁 I still haven't found them, so please, bear with me and look out for more weird words to come 😂

To those of you who said that it could have been the other neighbour. This is very very unlikely, as he is just an old chap, who simply would not go at the whole length of fabricating, reporting, calling to the regulatory body., which is quite a task on its own.

He was reluctant to tell me to start off, but I think he has got an itch, lol, and just could not keep it. He said that the neighbour came to his wife for a cuppa and has revealed her what she has done. I do believe this is true. That's why the whole card situation is so so weird 🤪 he also told me that he thought that neighbour was just jealous of a successful business.

I remember thinking to myself: how very bazaar, as there lots of successfull businesses around, it's just plain stupid to be jealous of people you simply don't even know.

To those of you who said she's is posting cards to all, as its outing, this is unlikely too. As there is no strong neighbourhood in our place, and it's difficult to say who is friends with who, I can't imagine people going on discussing "oh, have you received a card from so and so? Oh, I haven't. This is very strange. Something is fishy about it "

OP posts:

Original poster

Bearwithbee · 06/12/2023 15:32

But I think the best advise it's to post it back! With "no longer at this address, return to sender"
And this is what I am going to do. thank you!😁

OP posts:

liverpoolnana · 06/12/2023 15:38

No, I'd say don't send it back with not known at this address, as she can easily check this if she is still in contact with neighbours, and it will make you look very odd and 'off'. Rise above it, as others have said, and ignore.

IcakethereforeIam · 06/12/2023 15:44

Santa claws? Just lob(ster) them in the bin.

Original poster

Bearwithbee · 06/12/2023 15:44

ApricotLime · 06/12/2023 14:26

Were there people coming and going to your business that left her with no parking space?

Edited

@ApricotLime we have our own big drive way. She did not have any. But this is irrelevant. Like I said I have never crossed her way

OP posts:

saltinesandcoffeecups · 06/12/2023 15:45

While I would amuse myself with many thoughts of revenge, I’d just bin the cards in the end and not give it another thought.

Although the “crabby Christmas wishes” suggested earlier would remain firmly at the top of the list!

HotelNotPortofino · 06/12/2023 15:46

I too came for the crabs and was disappointed

My accuser keep on sending me crustaceans cards

Flip

1 2 3