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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is this mad behaviour on a train?

304 replies

capermum · 05/12/2023 20:38

So today I have a meeting the other side of the country today and I get an early train, guy in my seat when I arrive but shifts over for me (it’s a table of 4)
I’m window forward facing
he’s aisle forward facing

But THEN! The guy reaches down into a carrier bag on the floor and pulls out a large bowl which he places on top of his laptop, then reaches down again and retrieves a box of cornflakes that he tips into said massive bowl and then pulls out a big bottle of milk, pours it on the flakes and proceeds to munch away while watching iplayer though headphones like munch munch munch right in my effing ear, it’s not first class or anything so the seats are very close to each other.

I wouldn’t even sit next to my DH to eat cereal that close let alone a stranger!!!

After about 2 mins of this I interrupted his viewing and say “You have to let me out! I have to move while you eat, this is so antisocial and I can’t bear it”
“But I’m nearly finished” he says agog
“But I can’t bear to listen to another mouthful!”

So i do indeed leave while he finished and read my book further down the train where I can, in fact, still bloody hear him munch-munching away…

Then when it’s safe I return to my seat and get back to work

Oh yeah and when I’d arrived I get out my laptop and set it up to work, he reaches right across me an plugs into the socket that would have been closest to me, before I have a chance to, the passenger across from me notes this and offers me his socket with a knowing look, so is this further proof he’s a without doubt a total psycho?

I think in the end I made him as uncomfortable as he made me by calling him out, so I guess we are quits (for now)

It’s quite out of character for me to confront anyone ever, so tell me, is this totally antisocial or am I being over sensitive? and if I’m you think I’m being too soft then, please tell me what’s the worst outrageous antisocial behaviour you’ve witnessed on a train?

My colleague just told me she watched someone clipping their toenails once with those clippers that fling the nails every which way. So that’s probably worse

OP posts:
pictoosh · 06/12/2023 09:29

"After about 2 mins of this I interrupted his viewing and say “You have to let me out! I have to move while you eat, this is so antisocial and I can’t bear it”
“But I’m nearly finished” he says agog
“But I can’t bear to listen to another mouthful!”

So i do indeed leave while he finished and read my book further down the train where I can, in fact, still bloody hear him munch-munching away…

Then when it’s safe I return to my seat and get back to work."

See to me, this was more outlandish than the cornflakes. "I can't bear it!" - just quietly move away fgs...no need to berate anyone. People eat all sorts on the train...crisps for example, they are crunchy and commonly consumed on the train. Would you have carried on like that over a packet of crisps? No.
You thought he was being an oddball and as such, felt you had the right to berate and humiliate him.
Personally, I'd have laughed at his giant bowl and got on with my morning.

Original poster
capermum · 06/12/2023 10:58

whatausername · 06/12/2023 00:08

Croissants leave bits everywhere. I'd rather the cereal muncher. I would also much rather someone had their breakfast than skip it in case some drama llama has to run away down a train carriage.

Show quote history

Good point! Croissants are out too then!

LOVE “drama llama” !!! can’t believe I’ve never used that before !

OP posts:
TheFifthTellytubby · 06/12/2023 11:16

Holidayhell22 · 05/12/2023 21:56

I’m sorry op but your post made me chuckle. It sounds like an advert for Crunchy Nut Cornflakes.
It does sound gross though.

Was about to say the same thing! Maybe there was a secret camera somewhere catching people's reactions...😂

bananamangoes · 06/12/2023 11:34

@keye

No because weetabix aren't crunchy.

bananamangoes · 06/12/2023 11:35

@keye

I mean yes! More acceptable

Moonwatcher1234 · 06/12/2023 11:59

Wow, yes, the whole experience must have felt…unbelievable?

FictionalCharacter · 06/12/2023 14:15

Yanbu. There’s reasonable discreet quiet eating, and there’s this. And then the deliberate reaching across to use the socket closest to you. It’s the male territorial behaviour we often see on trains, like manspreading, sticking their elbows in front of you over the central armrest, and talking loudly on their phones as though they’re in their private office.

Mothership4two · 06/12/2023 17:44

Cyclebabble · 05/12/2023 21:19

I had a particularly long commute for a while and I used to eat cornflakes on the train every day. I did not think it was anti-social TBH.

I can't see it being any different from eating a packet of crisps from a noise point of view.

Or someone having a drink on the table if worrying about spillage

MarvellousMonsters · 06/12/2023 18:03

“You have to let me out! I have to move while you eat, this is so antisocial and I can’t bear it”

That's a joke, right? You can't bear it? Holy shit. Hmm

venus7 · 06/12/2023 18:10

capermum · 05/12/2023 20:56

So private and yet so public

Exactly that; a very good phrase.
I once had someone applying anti perspirant enthusiastically.....arm up, roll on, and on. Just made me think of smelly armpits. These actions are private!

Tryingmybestadhd · 06/12/2023 18:16

You think eating in a train in antisocial ? What about a plane ? I’m a bit confused here , why is it’s offensive ?

H007 · 06/12/2023 18:21

YABU you don’t own the train the table or the seat. He can eat his breakie where he wants on the train. You also don’t own the plug socket. You sound very entitled.

Sensibleandboring · 06/12/2023 18:54

I would have found the cereal challenging but what I find much worse is spraying perfume / deodorant in an enclosed space

Justfinking · 06/12/2023 18:56

Odd and messy breakfast choice, but massive overreaction from you

littlebopeepp234 · 06/12/2023 18:59

SmileyClare · 05/12/2023 21:09

Fellow passengers are quite annoying on public transport - they make noise, have conversations, children cry and tantrum, people snore, eat food. I’m fairly tolerant and resigned to ignoring it.
Eating breakfast is fairly acceptable in my view.

I definitely wouldn’t have stood up and declared “I can’t bear it!” over someone eating cereal. It takes about 5 minutes.
Unnecessary drama.

Take ear phones next time you travel!

Completely agree with this. Many people eat on trains and some trains even have someone come up and down the aisle with a trolley selling food and drink. Eating a bowl of cereals is a bit strange and but I think the op’s OTT reaction of “I need to get out, I can’t bear to hear you have another mouthful” is even more strange and rude than the person eating cereals. Just completely unnecessary and over dramatic!

Bananabuttons · 06/12/2023 19:02

I’m really impressed you had the balls to call him out in it and move. When I was 20 ish I used to take the bus from Ealing to Chiswick each morning and there was often a guy who had obviously MH issues taking the same route. One day he sat beside me sniffing really grossly and coughing up huge amounts of phlegm which he’d spit into his hand and rubbed on his crotch in a sexual manner while moaning to himself. I just squished myself up against the window trying not to puke until it was my stop.

pictoosh · 06/12/2023 19:06

Thanks for sharing.

Daydreamer123 · 06/12/2023 19:09

Caught a morning train with DH, A young woman boarded a couple of stops later and took the seat directly behind him. Shortly after she attempted to discard a pair of knickers by throwing them under the seat (I can only assume they were from the previous night and she didn't want to carry them around in her handbag all day...Why she didn't just bin them I'll never know!) only problem was she was a little over enthusiastic with her throw and they ended up between DH's feet! He politely kicked them back under the seat, but we did have a good giggle about it after. I can only imagine she was mortified!

Mostlyoblivious · 06/12/2023 19:14

I swear people munch louder if they have headphones in. My DH certainly does..😑

sprigatito · 06/12/2023 19:21

I had a thread a while back about the inconsiderate rank fucker who opened a riffy, stinking egg sandwich on a boiling hot train that was packed to the roof with people standing. It was already a living hell and quite smelly BEFORE he started squelching his way through his evil fucking lunch. The eggs must have been off because it stank like a public toilet. Wanker.

keye · 06/12/2023 19:22

I'm more bothered by nasty perfumes than eggs sandwiches. At least the smell of the egg goes away. Perfume rams itself deep until the person fucks off.

Coyoacan · 06/12/2023 19:40

Your post reminds me of "The discreet charm of the bourgeoisie"

Ilovecleaning · 06/12/2023 19:56

This is why I travel first class when I can.

Guesswho88 · 06/12/2023 20:21

Cornflakes wouldn't bother except I love cornflakes so would be jealous.

Nickinoo22 · 06/12/2023 20:47

I have experienced a varied assortment of meals being eaten on trains and to be honest a bowl of cereal is probably one of the least offensive ones . Possibly the worst was a full 3 course Chinese takeaway eaten with a lot of slurping! But the XXL bag of pickled onion monster munchies was up there too.

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