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Original poster

Office Lunchtime dilemma

41 replies

Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername · 05/12/2023 18:50

Long time member but I've been a bit of a serial name changer lately as my original one about a certain video game doesn't seem appropriate now my dc are older teens. So as my username suggests any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thank you!

Anyway I mostly work from home and only go in the office once a week sometimes less than that. My husband loves making lunches. He makes them for himself and the boys if they want them and me. Fine infact brilliant when I was in the office fulltime. But now I only go in once a week I want to treat myself. So I say to my dh I think I'll treat myself and buy myself something at work. But then he'll say its OK I'll save you the bother I'll make your lunch when I do mine. Or it's no trouble I don't mind making your lunch. He even puts in lovely notes that makes me smile. Or he'll say OK but then in the morning he'll say I made your lunch after all for you. If I was wanting to eat out every day I'd understand it but once a week as a treat. Why not?

OP posts:
Palegreenstars · 05/12/2023 18:56

‘Thanks I’ll have that tomo as I’m out for lunch today’

Createausername1970 · 05/12/2023 18:56

Aw. It's annoying, but it seems mean to be annoyed as he is doing a kind thing for you (unless he is generally controlling then it's not nice).

Take the lunch, smile nicely. Chuck it in the bin at work and buy what you want.

Original poster
Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername · 05/12/2023 18:59

Createausername1970 · 05/12/2023 18:56

Aw. It's annoying, but it seems mean to be annoyed as he is doing a kind thing for you (unless he is generally controlling then it's not nice).

Take the lunch, smile nicely. Chuck it in the bin at work and buy what you want.

Definitely not controlling. I could never do that though. It would seem such a waste

OP posts:
Squirrelblanket · 05/12/2023 19:01

Are they nice lunches?

Original poster
Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername · 05/12/2023 19:02

Squirrelblanket · 05/12/2023 19:01

Are they nice lunches?

Yes.

OP posts:
Dixiechickonhols · 05/12/2023 19:02

Just say in advance you have plans for lunch. I sometimes buy lunch on my office day as a treat.

Original poster
Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername · 05/12/2023 19:03

Dixiechickonhols · 05/12/2023 19:02

Just say in advance you have plans for lunch. I sometimes buy lunch on my office day as a treat.

I do. He still makes them

OP posts:
Dixiechickonhols · 05/12/2023 19:03

If he makes after said no just leave it at home I’m sure someone will eat it.

Electrolens · 05/12/2023 19:04

Sorry - I realise this seems obvious but if he’s a decent guy then the obvious answer is to tell him?

I like you making lunch and love them - but every now and then I fancy lunch out so if I say I don’t want a packed lunch please take me at my word - I don’t want one. Thanks and love you

Whats so hard unless he really doesn’t listen to you?

Hastae · 05/12/2023 19:04

Have you really explained your intentions? “Don’t worry, I can buy myself something - it’ll be a treat” comes across totally differently to “That’s kind, but actually I really look forward to getting lunch out as a treat!” Especially if buying lunch isn’t much of a treat for him.

I went years at a place where homemade sandwiches were much nicer than anything I could get at work. I really resented giving the canteen my cash on the rare occasion I didn’t have something. I now work in a town and would not want to miss out on sampling the local coffee shops.

Cheepcheepcheep · 05/12/2023 19:06

I get you. I’m in once a week now and I look forward to a solo sushi lunch when I’m in town! Tbh I’m spending £10 a lunch once a week - which is less than I was in 5 days and taking in food 2/3 days.

Could you word it like you enjoy escaping the office and homemade lunch means you can’t?

Original poster
Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername · 05/12/2023 19:10

Part of it is because we are trying to save money and he knows I don't particularly like making sandwiches so he sees it as if he makes sandwiches for me that's a treat too.

OP posts:
RunningFromInsanity · 05/12/2023 19:12

If you are trying to save money then I can see where he is coming from.

user628468523532453 · 05/12/2023 19:13

Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername · 05/12/2023 19:10

Part of it is because we are trying to save money and he knows I don't particularly like making sandwiches so he sees it as if he makes sandwiches for me that's a treat too.

Then you need to communicate more clearly.

CaineRaine · 05/12/2023 19:17

”Thanks but I told you I’m buying lunch so I’ll have this tomorrow at home instead”

thedukeofbuckinghamshire · 05/12/2023 19:19

Take it. Eat at 10am as first lunch. Have treat second lunch at lunchtime. Job done!

maddening · 05/12/2023 19:24

Say you'll have it for dinner when you get home

purplecorkheart · 05/12/2023 19:27

Don't suppose he would do a blog of lunchbox ideas. I am stuck in a rut and could really do with ideas.

I know you should be direct but sometimes a white lie is easier. Could you say that x and y are going to be in the same day for regular meeting. You've agreed to go to cafe to have an informal catch up. Repeat as needs be

Neriah · 05/12/2023 19:27

Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername · 05/12/2023 19:03

I do. He still makes them

Show quote history

Seems like a terrible waste so you'll have to take two lunches, because I TOLD YOU I'D BE OUT AND DON'T NEED LUNCH.

Anneta · 05/12/2023 19:29

Put the lunch in your fridge & eat it in the evening. Or take it with you & eat it for breakfast.

Ktime · 05/12/2023 19:30

Pleasehelpmefindagoodusername · 05/12/2023 19:10

Part of it is because we are trying to save money and he knows I don't particularly like making sandwiches so he sees it as if he makes sandwiches for me that's a treat too.

Tell him you will be buying lunch so if he makes you a lunch it will be wasted money.

Then leave it behind.

He needs to see you mean it and the lunch will be abandoned!

SuspiciousSue · 05/12/2023 19:33

That’s so sweet that he wants to do that 💕 Just let him and enjoy the fact that he loves you so much. I like the fact he does little notes. I did that once for my husband when he started a new job. The bugger went out for lunch with his new team and the box was unopened all day and I had to show him 🙄 He said he was gutted he’d missed the surprise.

LadyChilli · 05/12/2023 19:35

thedukeofbuckinghamshire · 05/12/2023 19:19

Take it. Eat at 10am as first lunch. Have treat second lunch at lunchtime. Job done!

Good to see some common sense being spoken.

beanontoast · 05/12/2023 19:36

If you’re trying to save money it makes more sense that he keeps doing it. Idk about you but lunch these days seems to be a tenner a time anywhere. Can you take the lunch and get a coffee/cake if you still want a treat?

HarryOHayandBettyOBarley · 05/12/2023 19:40

Don't take it. If you've already said you don't want it and he makes it anyway, I'm not sure he's being as 'nice' as you think.

If you do take it, then bring some tinfoil with you and wrap it up and hand it to the first homeless person you see.