Managers focus on soft skills feels like discrimination

[Hicorky]

Hi,
I work in a loosely marketing job, really it's more brand management. I had to attend a networking event as part of work last week, I've been to hundreds now and know the ropes. I was asked to take two girls we have with us on "year in Industry" placements from university. Not a problem, they are working between marketing and brand management so I don't know them great but thought it would be fun,
In meetings I've been in where their progress has come up it's been clear at every level above one girl is liked much much more than the other. Our company sells expensive products that I imagine many 20/21 year olds haven't had a lot of real engagement with. However one of the girls has, due to a much wealthier background. The other girl doesn't have that experience, she is also autistic and has ADHD.
The networking event was a couple of speeches then drinks and light buffet. After the speeches I said they could either stick with me, I'd introduce them to people or if they felt confident they could go off and work the room.
The girl who is seemingly loved by all went off and worked the room the other stayed by me. The first girl was a natural, not surprising since based on her instagram she's a member of various private members clubs, so I assume she's quite used to networking.
I'd say she did all of it with more ease than I did. The other girl was really shy, stuck to my side and even when I'd directly include her in conversation struggled. I'll assume this is part of her autism.
When I got back I asked them both to just write up a report on it all, summary of the speeches and anything we could action or bring up at the next team meeting off the back of it, I planned to pass it along to my manager.
Yesterday they both gave me them and well girl 1 did much better than girl 2. She had managed to speak to each of the speakers after and ask lots of questions, got access to more resources etc. Just had a look and she's linked with two of them on LinkedIn now! The other girl was very much bullet points of the presentations.
My manager had a look at them and asked how I felt they did. I was honest and said girl
1 was definitely more comfortable but they both learned a lot. My manager now thinks that girl 2s lack of soft skills are extremely concerning. We've had other issues with her, persistent absence, poor quality of work even when being hand held through it. In comparison to her class mate they are worlds apart. Her classmate is very good at taking initiative, getting started on a task then asking questions as she goes. Girl 2 just sort of sits if she isn't 100% sure until someone approaches her.
We will be doing a review for them in then next couple of weeks and feeding back to the coordinator at their university.
My manager has expressed she is considering suggesting to the university they find a different placement for the last 2/3 of the year as she isn't thriving here or making any attempt to.
She listed her reasons as

• Poor work quality
• Persistent absence
• Lack of initiative
• Poor soft skills

I'm concerned the last two could be seen as discrimination considering she has autism? And I'd like to point it out to my manager before she goes ahead and uses those as reasons.
AIBU for thinking those reasons are discrimination?

This. This is a placement not a job. It is meant to get a learning experience so to end the placement for "not performing" is inappropriate.

And as you have identified OP you should be making reasonable adjustments before considering ending any disabled worker's employment anyhow.

I also agree that most of the concerns raised are likely related to her disability so could be seen as discriminatory.

Hmm. I agree with others, have you actually talked to her about how she's finding it? Reasonable adjustments already in place? Have you provided any feedback yet to uni tutor - surely you should be contacting him too?

Lots of very knowledgable posters here and good advice. Something a PP said is important I think: you appear to be making judgements based on how much further behind this student is to the other placement student. I get it, it’s natural to do this, but I think in the interests of fairness you must focus on each of them as individuals and be mindful that bias may be creeping in due to comparison. It is also probably very clear to this student that the other student is excelling and that might be compounding the issues with their work.

Has anyone actually spelled out how to get help if they're stuck or the process for getting a new task?
Ask person A if you need help with X or person B is good at Y, or there's a teams chat where we all put in general questions.
Some people neurodiverse or not just don't know how to approach things in the workplace and need a lot more guidance than others.
Might be especially difficult if people are falling over themselves to help the confident rich girl because she's pretty and charming.

As others have said lots that needs to be done before just booting someone with a disability.

To be honest, I'd question the suitability of the work you are giving the students if this is all relying solely on the soft skills rather than any knowledge they have been developing off their courses. Certainly within the work they were doing directly for you you seemed to just leave them to sink or swim and it was more about being an easy-going extravert than anything else.

However, given I've worked with a fair few branding and marketing types I'm not surprised that your boss is behaving the way they are, that seems to be how your world works and perhaps girl 2 is better redirected into a more supportive and healthier environment where she can thrive rather than being a fish who is being punished because she can't ride a bicycle.

If a job is in a very competitive area accommodating disabilities can seem like positive discrimination and it could be argued able talented people miss out. I have it out to me this is simply not fair and sometimes team members can be quite opinionated by appointments. One ex ample would be acting where a huge proportion of the population would give their eye teeth for a significant role and if a disabled actor is given a chance it's great for diversity but in reality there may a hundred able bodies actors who didn't get the role who would question the casting. Inclusvity only goes so far.

I think soft skills are either something you’ve got or you haven’t, like being a good writer, anyone can write a story but very few people can do it well enough to make a living. I know I haven’t got good people skills so while I could quite happily go to a networking event and introduce myself to people I’m unlikely to make an impression or ask the right questions, and that’s ok, but I struggle to see what reasonable accommodations you could make if that’s an important part of the job. Perhaps you could find some tasks that play more to her strengths.

Not true.

I had bugger all soft skills, other than the ability to assess whether I was about to get thumped in the head and duck in the nick of time. I'd never had telephone conversations because the Phone wasn't for talking to people on, it was there for the parent in case of Emergency. I hadn't been to parties, played at friend's houses, had family meals or made conversation with anybody because my mother didn't believe in that sort of thing.

What I could do watch and listen and learn from others as an adult, though.

I can work a room with ease now. Ten minutes in peace and quiet beforehand, I've got the outfit (costume), I've got ideas of who I am going to see and knowledge about the context and a mental list of actions, movements and things to say (stage directions and script). And then I put my game face on and the curtain rises for the Opening Number - 'Oh, hello, how are you? It's lovely to see you again. Your dress is absolutely wonderful, it's the most beautiful colour. Can I introduce you to Freda, our new expert in spanglebullerwotsits? Freda, this is Bess,, she's a brilliant compliance specialist but I also think she might have the same breed of dog as you...' <and withdraw once they're starting to bond over a mutual love for Chihuahuas to greet the next person/spot the person who looks uncomfortable and rescue them/find them a chair>

At some point of the night, I will hopefully get to escape out the back with the techs/IT/whoever and could well end up networking with somebody else who has also assessed their exits, but I can absolutely do it. Because I've learned.

Sounds like your boss is potentially acting in a discriminatory manner, and I would point this out.

Someone needs to review with her how things are going, find out what she thinks, what can support her. Explore reasonable adjustments. Do involve the university in this process. Then review again.

Lots of young people - especially those impacted by covid during adolescence - lack soft skills. That's one of the reasons students are encouraged to do a year in industry, to start developing them. It sounds like the comparisons with the other girl really don't help this situation.

I think you sound very supportive of her and that's great.

you do not (for example) have to hire a blind person to be a lorry driver.

This thread has gone me totally confused. WHY wouldn't it be discrimination not to hire the blind person to drive the lorry? Or the legless person to be a professional footballer (with fully legless people). Or the 4' tall person to be a fire fighter? Or the shy akward person to do sales & networking job. I have never understood what the boundaries are on "reasonable adjustments" maybe. If there are no boundaries, then the blind person gets to drive the lorry. So what are the boundaries?

I'm struggling to believe you really can't work it out but I think you're serious.

What reasonable adjustments can be put in place to allow a blind person to safely drive a lorry? None.

What reasonable adjustments can be put in place to allow a blind person to make telesales calls? Probably all they will need is screenreading software so they can access numbers and write up notes. Cheap and easy.

The boundaries are in the word ‘reasonable’. In law the ‘reasonable man’ test is fairly common: would the reasonable man on the street think that adjustment was fair and proportionate. Giving a student a chance to develop ‘soft skills’ through coaching mentoring and feedback - or allowing a neurodiverse person to work in a differently lit room: reasonable (minimal inconvenience to business and allows the person to do a competent job). Blind person drive a lorry: not reasonable (they can’t do it what ever reasonable adjustments you make).

Poor work quality
She is a student, still learning. Against what are you measuring "poor" - against a proper employee? Against the other girl?
What instructions has she been given? If the instructions are unclear, and sources of help not available, it may be more the company's fault than the students that her output appears poor.

Persistent absence
This is serious and needs addressing. Document all conversations carefully, manage it as you would for any other employee.

Lack of initiative
Entirely expected in a student with autism. Give her clear, explicit and detailed instructions for everything. Give her tasks that are repeated in a weekly process, so she has at least some of the time when she knows what she is supposed to do and can get on with it.

Poor soft skills
This is not specific enough. What soft skills? What can she actually do and not do?

I suggest focusing her on the aspects of the work that would play to her strengths, such as possibly data work, or detailed design / image work, or documenting stuff. Surely the job can't be all about people skills?

Some PP on thread have suggested the placement person be offered a

...completely different job to do, something that doesn't use the same skillset (which we don't even know if company has for anyone, much less a vacancy)
... lots of additional focused feedback and intense development
... blame the university for not having enough discussion about the placement in advance (in which case I don't know what next steps are, but saying the situation isn't working seems to be implied as not an option)

Are those "reasonable adjustments" applicable to the situation? They didn't sound reasonable to me at all. I'm deffo not a man on the street, then, lol.

Well we don't know do we. It's an assumption in itself that the 'failure' at the networking event was to do with autism at all. For someone who hasn't done one before it can be daunting especially if not given direction or support or not given an expectation of anticipated output. OP even says they're shocked that the 'capable one' was so good which suggests perhaps there wasn't a tonne of prep if this was a surprise.

For someone who has reasonable adjustments the output and activity can be the same but with other adjustments; ie being given an itenary beforehand so know what to expect, be given a clear indication of what will need to be collated at the event, and even some lines to take when networking. There are things that arguably should be done for all students on placement anyway as they're learning, but can make a huge difference and not actually take much time to implement. Sure the placement might still be unachievable and not suitable, but the employer should show they have made an effort to at least discuss the art of the possible. The references to the other woman shouldn't even be relevant really, the important thing should be whether they're meeting the demands of someone on placement, not someone else who happens to be brilliant.

I completely agree with this