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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour asked us to stop our Christmas lights flashing

477 replies

SuddenlyISee · 05/12/2023 12:16

Outside Christmas lights got put up on Sunday morning going around a couple of the windows at the front of the house (we live end terrace on a close).
We were out till late on Sunday evening so they were only on for probably an hour that day and then I switched them on when I got home from work at about 3:30 yesterday. Within an hour, my opposite neighbour knocked on my door and said that although he really likes the "Christmas cheer", could we not have them flashing all the time as they are disturbing him at night. They are turned off no later than 10pm as that is when we go to bed. There are multiple settings and I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is. I just feel like I'm going to spend the next few weeks worrying that our lights are offending him and wonder if I should just take them down. The neighbours either side of the neighbour that complained have both got the same lights as us so I have the same view as him, if not more so, and I can't see how it would affect anyone

OP posts:
Getthethrowonthesofa · 05/12/2023 14:02

slore · 05/12/2023 13:59

You're not obligated to turn them off. He can't control your house and he's cheeky for asking. If he's sensitive, tough titty. He should get better curtains or a sleep mask.

Turning them off at 10pm is fully reasonable. Maybe turn them off at 9pm if you're feeling generous.

Tough titty, what are you, 12?

MrsMarzetti · 05/12/2023 14:03

ElfDragon · 05/12/2023 12:22

You can control what your children do - they have a choice: have the lights on and leave the settings alone, or don’t have the lights on.

that said, I would say that flashing lights are generally ok up until about 8pm, but maybe your neighbour has an odd work shift pattern, and is trying to sleep when your lights are on and disturbing them?

Maybe the neighbour has Epilepsy.

Getthethrowonthesofa · 05/12/2023 14:04

SuddenlyISee · 05/12/2023 14:01

You seem like you’re determined he’s just out to get you though so carry on feeling attacked.

I did not say that. He's a nice man and I have no desire to start anything with him.

I used the wrong wording in my OP regarding "controlling" my children so apologies for that. I can control them and I will stop them from changing the settings now that I understand the consequences of having them on the blinking setting. However the button that they press is not directly on the plug and is a separate switch and I am fully aware that children shouldn't play with electrical sockets but thanks all for the advice.

Fair play op. You’ve handled it with grace. Listened, Heard and taken action.

you can see from the many responses, which are nearly unanimous, apart from a small handful who don’t care, that it’s something most feel strongly about due to it being so disruptive and also can cause quite significant medical issues.

Janiie · 05/12/2023 14:04

Pipistrellus · 05/12/2023 13:59

I mean, why are they touching electricals/plugs anyway? That’s covered in parenting 101, no?

Exactly. Toddlers that don't remember instructions shouldn't have access to plugs!

Yes op, not only are you putting the whole street at risk with your outrageous light show you also risk electrocuting your wayward kids with your terrible neglectful parenting Xmas Grin

MythicBish · 05/12/2023 14:05

Flashing Christmas lights are bloody horrible (especially blue tinted lights)

They would probably look better static anyway and save your poor neighbours a migraine...

Usernumber47378463737373783833 · 05/12/2023 14:06

I love Christmas lights but I’m with your neighbour. Across the road from me 2 people have fast placed blue flashing lights. Shines right in the front of our house through the windows and front door and annoys me. Thankfully none of us have epilepsy but it’s almost migraine inducing. I am at the back of the house so can’t see them in bed however can in the front room in the evenings and also into my daughters front bedroom. It’s annoying.

most lights have different settings. If there’s still a slower or even still setting, use it!

pontipinemum · 05/12/2023 14:07

I would hate that as your neighbour. It's not the brightness it'd be the flashing I hate flashing light.

On the way home last night I though I was about to come up to a huge police check point or something around the corner, no just a house decked out in blue and white flashing light s

Banj0girl · 05/12/2023 14:07

We have got this now. We have thick curtains and just draw then together at dusk. We sometimes have to do this earlier as the sun shines in, or it is reflected off car windows.
My DH has to stay in the living room as he is unwell and disabled. Impossible to put him with his back to the window at the moment.
Years ago we had a flashing reindeer opposite. We just asked them to not switch it on until dark. But they used to forget and leave it on all night and day !

NotEvenThought · 05/12/2023 14:08

@easylikeasundaymorn
Ha there was a thread from the other pov literally yesterday in which most posters had the opposite opinion - that it was grinchy to object to flashing lights and you should buy blackout curtains if they annoy you. By which I have gathered that a lot of posters on MN will just argue the opposite opinion to the OP for giggles

I'm guessing if you've only just worked this out then you are very new to Mumsnet 😅. Mumsnet is the home of recreational arsey'ness.

I have black out curtains but I'd still find flashing lights extremely irritating. I love normal or twinkling lights though.

I had a neighbour write me a letter about a small mirrored hanging decoration I had in a tree that was about 70ft away from there window. They said the way it caught the light was really annoying and could I please move it. In what I think it quite a novel approach for Mumsnet I went straight out and removed it and didn't give it anymore thought.

Ginandjuice57884 · 05/12/2023 14:08

I'm really sensitive to changes in light when it's dark. I can't have any tiny lights flashing (for example my laptop has a tiny flashing light of it's on and closed). People's flashing decorations drive me nuts although not as bad as security lights constantly being triggered because one set of neighbours can't be bothered trimming back a trailing plant that sets it off! Ugh 😂

CharlotteBog · 05/12/2023 14:11

Ha there was a thread from the other pov literally yesterday in which most posters had the opposite opinion - that it was grinchy to object to flashing lights and you should buy blackout curtains if they annoy you. By which I have gathered that a lot of posters on MN will just argue the opposite opinion to the OP for giggles.

Yes, you see that a lot on MN. The first few responses of these sorts of thread seem to trigger an avalanche of meanness. It's can be quite horrible to read.

Butterflywings18 · 05/12/2023 14:17

I cant stand the fast flashing setting on my tree lights so to be fair I understand if its disturbing your neighbours opposite.

Pr1mr0se · 05/12/2023 14:21

I think you are being unreasonable.

slore · 05/12/2023 14:22

MrsMarzetti · 05/12/2023 14:03

Maybe the neighbour has Epilepsy.

Show quote history

Nope. He didn't mention it and only 3% of people with epilepsy have the photosensitive variety.

Also, only certain frequencies and patterns of flashing lights trigger seizures in photosensitive epilepsy, it's not just any old flashing. Products with lights (and TV shows etc) are not allowed to use these frequencies and patterns.

2mummies1baby · 05/12/2023 14:34

Just turn the lights off earlier- it really isn't difficult.

skippy67 · 05/12/2023 14:35

YABU.

LaurieStrode · 05/12/2023 14:36

thefallen · 05/12/2023 12:20

YABU. Flashing lights when you're trying to sleep is horrible. If you can't control your children fiddling with the settings then the lights need to go off.

This x100. Flashing lights are really annoying. Control your children.

yumyum33 · 05/12/2023 14:36

Your poor neighbour. They have my sympathy. If your children are messing with the settings then it is your fault and you need to stop them doing this.

verdantverdure · 05/12/2023 14:39

Flashing lights are antisocial behaviour in my book. It's light pollution and actually quite hard to keep it out of your own house.

You can bet if one person has asked nicely, there are more quietly hating you for it.

MissHavershamReturns · 05/12/2023 14:39

Yabu

KovskyMinsky · 05/12/2023 14:43

hate flashing lights. they should be banned. Imagine if your neighbour had epilepsy or sleep problems.

BrimfulOfMash · 05/12/2023 14:45

The Blackout Curtains thing: flashing lights are really annoying in daylight if you are trying to read or work. Why should someone have to go to the expense of blackout, and close the curtains to cause pitch black, to WFH at 3.30 in the afternoon?

Christmas lights: lovely. Flashing: put up flashing lights within your own house if that is what you enjoy.

sixteenfurryfeet · 05/12/2023 14:47

SirenSays · 05/12/2023 12:21

Wouldn't it be easier to teach the children not to play with plugs and wires than to take the whole lot down

Quite.

TroysMammy · 05/12/2023 14:47

Flashing blue lights are the worst.

Ifellasleep · 05/12/2023 14:49

My worst nightmare. I’ve had to stop my dog’s later walk because my neighbour on the end has them - hugely migraine triggering (and my migraines are nasty lasting 2-10 days).

put them on static