Neighbour asked us to stop our Christmas lights flashing

[SuddenlyISee]

Outside Christmas lights got put up on Sunday morning going around a couple of the windows at the front of the house (we live end terrace on a close).
We were out till late on Sunday evening so they were only on for probably an hour that day and then I switched them on when I got home from work at about 3:30 yesterday. Within an hour, my opposite neighbour knocked on my door and said that although he really likes the "Christmas cheer", could we not have them flashing all the time as they are disturbing him at night. They are turned off no later than 10pm as that is when we go to bed. There are multiple settings and I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is. I just feel like I'm going to spend the next few weeks worrying that our lights are offending him and wonder if I should just take them down. The neighbours either side of the neighbour that complained have both got the same lights as us so I have the same view as him, if not more so, and I can't see how it would affect anyone

Because to keep on mithering and poking and prodding at her, and scolding and finger-wagging, makes some people feel superior and special, and like they are better than her.

Some people don't care that the OP has already sorted it, because they still want to, indeed still HAVE to have pop at her, because their views and opinions are soooooooooooooooo important. People continuing to have a go at the OP when she has said waaaay back that she has sorted it all - (and when she did nothing wrong in the bloody first place anyway) is beyond pathetic and attention seeking.

Nah, OP has already confirmed in her update that she’s happy for her kids to play with the other plug sockets. In fact why doesn’t she go one further when tell them to stick their fingers in plug socket holes?! Tell them to play with matches and knives! Nothing will happen naturally!

Flashing lights triggers Epilepsy for me,

I'm not a fan of flashing lights either. House across the road from me have put some blue ones up. With the early nights and their forgetfulness of turning them off we just had an on and off 'glow' for over 12 hours last night. We do have blinds but not curtains.

I personally would keep them on static when on and as others have said, teach your children not to touch them.

I'm not being goady, but how do you manage at this time of year when you might be unpredictably faced with flashing lights?

I understand things are better in say music venues, TV programmes etc, where you are given a warning, but what if you're driving around at this time of year and pass flashing lights? And do you raise awareness locally so you can walk about where you live w/o triggering your epilepsy? Or even around the shops?

Sorry, I ask a lot of questions, I just curious how you manage it - it must be an awful time of year for you.

Because to keep on mithering and poking and prodding at her, and scolding and finger-wagging, makes some people feel superior and special, and like they are better than her.

Yup. I’m sure it’s why 90% of the people on here are here.

@Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain unfortunately they lost their knives but Santa is bringing them each a blow torch and some garden shears.

Actually that’s quite funny!

@SuddenlyISee , I’m from an era (70s) where very few appliances had I think attached plugs (?) anyway I recall being shown how to wire a plug and not wanting to do it! Our house did have dodgy electrics due to a dodgy electrician but there was also a fire when I was 5 in a bedroom started by a lodger who lived there, I remember that well, and it scared me so that’s why I’m sensitive about kids playing with plugs etc!

Not the PP but I can tell you what I do.

I'm self employed so I drive home from work before it gets fully dark, as even car headlights cause me issues some days. I'm often home by 4pm this time of year, but that's okay, it's my business. When I worked for a large company it was also OK as they made accommodations for my epilepsy and I made up my hours at other times.

I avoid shops usually anyway, as I'm not a "social shopper" so flashing lights are dealt with through my natural inclination.

I click and collect at supermarkets.

I live in a village in a rural location, so walks are country or seaside based with no flashing lights.

None of these massively inconvenience me, certainly they inconvenience me way less than a seizure would.

That would mean no driving license and I'd have to close my business and lose my livelihood.

My neighbours tastes, fortunately, run to gentle twinkly lights in trees and gardens, or along fences.

Flickering lights distract and irritate me.

Some people can get headaches, migraines, even seizures from them.

You're causing a problem for your neighbour and they asked you quite reasonably for a compromise.

You haven't yet trained and don't currently control your children - you can change that.

YABU

I love lights, I have them. I would never put them on flashing mode though. Have you seen how many people get migraines, have fits etc. They should be banned.

Patronising much?

🤣🤣

you seem like a considerate neighbour to me x

It's more likely that 90% of posters don't read the OP's updates and the 'see all' is invisible to them.

Are they auditioning for the next HOSTEL film?

Yeah that's probably true for some, but not all. The 'see-all OP's posts' facility has been available for what... 2 years now? Most posters surely know by now that you can look at all the OP's posts in one go. Some people just like to have a go, and as I said, they think everyone wants and needs to hear their tiresome, tedious opinions.

Blimey, the OP's kids aren't dogs!

I'm not being goady, but how do you manage at this time of year when you might be unpredictably faced with flashing lights?

I’m not the PP you quoted, but my daughter has non epileptic seizures which can be triggered by flashing or flickering lights. It’s a nightmare all year round, but this time of year is a complete shit show.

Too many seizures in quick succession will then trigger muscle spasms in her hands, wrists, elbows, knees and ankles which mean they lock up in weird positions - if that happens, she’s pretty disabled and it can last anywhere from a few minutes to hours, days, once her wrist was locked for a month, it buggered up her tendons and she had to have weeks of physio.

So, it’s not great.

She generally just avoids going out after dark. During daylight it’s not too bad, although even driving past a line of trees, now the leaves have fallen off, with a low sun can trigger it. We had a cyclist following us in the car in slow moving traffic with a flashing front light one lunchtime recently and that triggered one.

College let her leave early so she can be home before dark.

She doesn’t go out anywhere she might encounter Christmas lights - doesn’t go to the pub with her friends or anything like that. She already avoids night clubs anyway.

She manages it by pretty much staying home after dark until after Christmas.

The slow fade/twinkly type settings don’t affect her at all. It’s only the flashing ones, and it’s mostly those really bright, white or icy blue lights that cause her issues

YABVU
I would open up the conversation to understand if its the flashing, or the time and see if i could accommodate the neighbour. This could result in either making the lights static, or switching them off earlier - however both of these options include controlling your own darlings so they do not play with electrical wires in your absence....

OP has stated way, way upthread what she is going to do about it

@CharlotteBog I guess this season is indeed difficult for a lot of people with epilepsy or other issues causing sensibilities to flashing lights. But while you can't direct towncouncils, shops, highstreets etc. to cater for your needs, you can absolutely have a nice talk with your neighbours and politely ask them to not use the flash-modus! It's as simple as that! Neighbours can still decorate their house and use a gazillion of lights, only not the flashing ones. That's what good neighboirs do, we care about each other,❤️

Wow. Sympathy to your dd.
Strobing bike lights are a real problem and even harder to avoid than Christmas decorations as unlike Christmas lights you can’t avoid encountering them by taking a different route.

Just tell the children not to change them to flashing and put themoff about 9pm and it should be fine. Flashing lights are a major issue. in the Highway Code for example cyclists are never supposed to have bike lights flashing just continous lights and it really annoys me how many cyclists think they can ignore the rules!

Re: why people are still commenting... It's likely the post is getting a lot of updates because it was included in the Mumsnet email round up.

Flashing lights are really annoying if they're in your eye-line constantly. They need to be static, or off.
Your children need telling, and disciplining accordingly over not messing with plugs/electrics.

And for the sake of a bit of community harmony, turning them off at 9ish won't cause you any issue.