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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour asked us to stop our Christmas lights flashing

477 replies

SuddenlyISee · 05/12/2023 12:16

Outside Christmas lights got put up on Sunday morning going around a couple of the windows at the front of the house (we live end terrace on a close).
We were out till late on Sunday evening so they were only on for probably an hour that day and then I switched them on when I got home from work at about 3:30 yesterday. Within an hour, my opposite neighbour knocked on my door and said that although he really likes the "Christmas cheer", could we not have them flashing all the time as they are disturbing him at night. They are turned off no later than 10pm as that is when we go to bed. There are multiple settings and I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is. I just feel like I'm going to spend the next few weeks worrying that our lights are offending him and wonder if I should just take them down. The neighbours either side of the neighbour that complained have both got the same lights as us so I have the same view as him, if not more so, and I can't see how it would affect anyone

OP posts:
Tilllly · 07/12/2023 02:19

"My neighbour has flashing Cmas lights for 5-6 hours, every night
AIBU to go in the night and cut the wire?"

Nope. Do it. 😁

Doingtheboxerbeat · 07/12/2023 03:00

MsRosley · 06/12/2023 23:13

'I can't be arsed to set a boundary with my children so my neighbour will just have to put up with it.'

This part 👆. And it's said as though it's the most reasonable thing to say out loud without context.
I never criticise people's parenting skills because I hate judgemental people, I'm not a parent and there maybe reasons -but just accepting that you can't control them is worrying as fuck.

BOOTS52PollyPrissyPants · 07/12/2023 04:23

Just turn them off at 8.30 pm as some older people go to bed earlier. Thank god have no one across from me but fields, next door and neighbours around the side have flashing lights you would see from the moon as beyond bright especially the gold gawdy ones. Do love the white lights as look classy but nx door is like vegas but doesn't bother me as cannot see from indoors and have blinds anyway. But tell your children not to keep touching them as dangerous if they keep messing about with them and to be kind just turn them off earlier.

Does neighbour have blinds or curtains.?

pizzafordinneragain · 07/12/2023 07:21

December is literally the best month of the year to control children. The threat of Santa not visiting, confiscation of advent calendars, etc, makes December a really easy month.

Phoenixfire1988 · 07/12/2023 07:29

I'm epileptic and can't have our lights on certain settings guess what I did ? Would you believe it I taught my kids not to touch the settings on the lights

Snowdogsmitten · 07/12/2023 07:30

pizzafordinneragain · 07/12/2023 07:21

December is literally the best month of the year to control children. The threat of Santa not visiting, confiscation of advent calendars, etc, makes December a really easy month.

And December 5th you can use the threat of Krampus. 😂 he’ll scare even the most ‘spirited’ of children into mute conformity.

Hesma · 07/12/2023 07:39

The only person that isn’t bothered by flashing lights is usually the person whose house they are on. Turn them in constant and teach your kids to do as you ask and leave them alone.

Bookworm1111 · 07/12/2023 07:40

I honestly don't see the point of putting lights on the outside of your house. You can't see them because you're indoors and instead your poor neighbours have to put up with them.

Anyotherdude · 07/12/2023 07:47

I always put mine on a timer plug, 16:00 until 22:00. If the neighbour works shifts and has to go to bed at 21:00, I would adjust the timing for him. If he just doesn’t like the flashing, I would change the settings to static.
If my kids kept playing with the settings, they would be threatened with no Christmas presents this year…

Loz2323 · 07/12/2023 08:04

Jesus there are a bunch of miseries on here! Its Christmas and lights flashing or otherwise are a part of that, they are up for a few weeks a year then gone and on their own house! Not like they are strewn all over the place. When kids were younger we used to enjoy driving around and looking at all the different displays seems Chistmas spirit and joy is sadly lacking

Peablockfeathers · 07/12/2023 08:09

Loz2323 · 07/12/2023 08:04

Jesus there are a bunch of miseries on here! Its Christmas and lights flashing or otherwise are a part of that, they are up for a few weeks a year then gone and on their own house! Not like they are strewn all over the place. When kids were younger we used to enjoy driving around and looking at all the different displays seems Chistmas spirit and joy is sadly lacking

Whilst all of that is very nice, it doesn't mean people should just be fine with lights flashing into their homes and disrupting them.

FreshWinterMorning · 07/12/2023 08:12

Loz2323 · 07/12/2023 08:04

Jesus there are a bunch of miseries on here! Its Christmas and lights flashing or otherwise are a part of that, they are up for a few weeks a year then gone and on their own house! Not like they are strewn all over the place. When kids were younger we used to enjoy driving around and looking at all the different displays seems Chistmas spirit and joy is sadly lacking

This exactly. Thankfully it's only in the parallel world of mumsnet that people think like this. In the real world, I know NO-ONE who has this snobby, snarky, po-faced attitude towards Christmas lights, around peoples gardens and homes, IN DECEMBER.

FreshWinterMorning · 07/12/2023 08:13

Except in 99% of cases, that simply doesn't happen. Once peoples blinds and curtains are shut, no-one can see anyone else's outside lights FFS. And, it's CHRISTMAS. For goodness sake, lighten up!

Bookworm1111 · 07/12/2023 08:13

FreshWinterMorning · 07/12/2023 08:12

This exactly. Thankfully it's only in the parallel world of mumsnet that people think like this. In the real world, I know NO-ONE who has this snobby, snarky, po-faced attitude towards Christmas lights, around peoples gardens and homes, IN DECEMBER.

Show quote history

Rubbish. If your neighbour opposite was flashing lights into your bedroom window throughout the night, you'd have something to say about it. Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean it's not annoying to people.

ladykale · 07/12/2023 08:43

What a ridiculous post.

Obviously have them on static settings. Not everyone has blackout blinds. We have shutters that are perfectly fine at night time but not light proof so flashing lights outside would disturb our sleep.

Why can't you switch them off at 8 or 9pm. Surely no children are driivng around at that time to see Christmas lights?!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 07/12/2023 08:55

Loz2323 · 07/12/2023 08:04

Jesus there are a bunch of miseries on here! Its Christmas and lights flashing or otherwise are a part of that, they are up for a few weeks a year then gone and on their own house! Not like they are strewn all over the place. When kids were younger we used to enjoy driving around and looking at all the different displays seems Chistmas spirit and joy is sadly lacking

Since your kids were young lights have got significantly brighter and cheaper to run thanks to LED technology and more likely to have flashing settings. That’s the reason why complaining about flashing lights has become a thing, not because people have stopped being festive.

Sexlivesofthepotatomen · 07/12/2023 08:55

OP has already resolved the issue, not sure why people are still sticking the boot in

Snugglemonkey · 07/12/2023 09:03

Flashing lights are very antisocial. I would ban them if I could.

Mummydrama · 07/12/2023 09:05

I hope they've told the other neighbours to stop theirs too!

Snugglemonkey · 07/12/2023 09:10

vivainsomnia · 05/12/2023 12:57

I really don't get why such a situation becomes an issue.

You say that they are off when you go to bed at 10pm. He says that he can't get to sleep.

So just agree to turn them off at 9pm (assume he doesn't go earlier) and maybe agree that from 8pm, they become static.

End of the problem, happy neighbour grateful for your consideration and your kids still get to enjoy them!

They should never be flashing.

SawX · 07/12/2023 09:22

And the children have been clearly told to only play with the other plug sockets for the rest of the Christmas period.

😁I hate flashing lights but I like you, OP.

pineapplecrushed · 07/12/2023 10:00

YABU flashing Christmas lights are very irritating for neighbours. Why do they have to flash?

pineapplecrushed · 07/12/2023 10:02

lights are not a problem. Flashing is.

eastegg · 07/12/2023 10:17

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 07/12/2023 08:55

Since your kids were young lights have got significantly brighter and cheaper to run thanks to LED technology and more likely to have flashing settings. That’s the reason why complaining about flashing lights has become a thing, not because people have stopped being festive.

Show quote history

Now steady on with that reason and logic! We can’t be having that.

FreshWinterMorning · 07/12/2023 10:22

Snugglemonkey · 07/12/2023 09:03

Flashing lights are very antisocial. I would ban them if I could.

Lighten up eh?

Neighbour asked us to stop our Christmas lights flashing
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