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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour asked us to stop our Christmas lights flashing

477 replies

SuddenlyISee · 05/12/2023 12:16

Outside Christmas lights got put up on Sunday morning going around a couple of the windows at the front of the house (we live end terrace on a close).
We were out till late on Sunday evening so they were only on for probably an hour that day and then I switched them on when I got home from work at about 3:30 yesterday. Within an hour, my opposite neighbour knocked on my door and said that although he really likes the "Christmas cheer", could we not have them flashing all the time as they are disturbing him at night. They are turned off no later than 10pm as that is when we go to bed. There are multiple settings and I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is. I just feel like I'm going to spend the next few weeks worrying that our lights are offending him and wonder if I should just take them down. The neighbours either side of the neighbour that complained have both got the same lights as us so I have the same view as him, if not more so, and I can't see how it would affect anyone

OP posts:
tara66 · 05/12/2023 15:55

Re. eye conditions and their treatments eg glaucoma and cataract can cause some eyes to go blurry with flashing lights.

poppym12 · 05/12/2023 16:01

Yabu. Stop your children messing with them. Leave them on static as a compromise as that's not usually so disruptive to sleep as flashing ones or the awful ones that cycle through different flash cycles.

StaunchMomma · 05/12/2023 16:02

I have black outs so my neighbour's flashing lights don't stop me sleeping.

They annoy the feck out of me when I'm awake, tho!

The whole front of my house goes blue then not blue every other bloody second. I have to have the curtains closed from 4ish and lights on constantly.

I have migraines and flashing lights are a trigger so yes, I am forced to do that.

They'd still be annoying without that, in fairness.

CornishHearty · 05/12/2023 16:04

Two hours ago the OP said she’d turn them to static and stop her children from changing the setting - job done

Lifeinlists · 05/12/2023 16:15

Next door neighbour has blue flashing ones on a tree in the porch. Just like an emergency scene. Fortunately there is a large thick hedge between us. Very glad I don't live opposite.

CatMandarin · 05/12/2023 16:16

Lifeinlists · 05/12/2023 16:15

Next door neighbour has blue flashing ones on a tree in the porch. Just like an emergency scene. Fortunately there is a large thick hedge between us. Very glad I don't live opposite.

My parents have that with their opposite neighbour. You walk into their front room and think the emergency services are outside.

Technonan · 05/12/2023 16:18

Flashing lights are a nightmare and they can trigger epileptic seizures. If you want flashing lights, have them indoors on your Christmas tree, don't inflict them on everyone else.

peerie · 05/12/2023 16:19

I find flashing lights very disturbing so I had to ask my neighbours to change the setting as they had to be endured from the main rooms in my house. Thankfully they understood and switched them to steady on. Good relationship all round.

DemBonesDemBones · 05/12/2023 16:26

Flashing lights are inconsiderate, sorry.

Itneverrainsitpissesitdown · 05/12/2023 16:30

Flashing lights trigger my hemiplegic migraines.
I have to be so careful at this time of year.
I'm lucky that my neighbours have only subtle lights, but I would probably have to ask them to change the setting if they didn't.
Anyone who suffers from this type of migraine will understand.

oakleaffy · 05/12/2023 16:37

Flashing lights are horribly distracting - static are much nicer - or very gently twinkling , but gently twinkling is quite hard to find.

AddictedToBooks · 05/12/2023 16:42

My opposite neighbours have flashing lights and they are a pain because we get a constant flickering through our curtains.
I've never asked them to stop them through but they keep them up for weeks and weeks and we've tried thicker curtains but because we also have glass interior doors, the flickering comes through those too.
We're not scrooges though as we also have lights outside but ours are static (ironically because the guy over the road said we weren't looking out for those who are sensitive to flickering lights "and could have seizures").

wronginalltherightways · 05/12/2023 16:58

YABU not to try to work with your neighbour on this one. You don't see them, obviously, but they do. And it's disturbing them.

Haydenn · 05/12/2023 17:01

Christmas decorations are supposed to spread goodwill and cheer. Yours are causing an upset and being a pain in the arse. Turn them off or put them on static.

Morewineplease10 · 05/12/2023 17:09

Neighbours wouldn't have asked if it weren't a genuine issue.

Tell your kids they're coming down if they won't leave them alone?

ReadingSoManyThreads · 05/12/2023 17:10

YABU flashing lights at any time of day or night are awful. I couldn't deal with flashing lights if we had them opposite (thankfully no house directly opposite). They really hurt my eyes and then end up with a headache. It's so inconsiderate of other people to have your lights flashing. Static lights are really beautiful and classy. Be a good neighbour and turn off the tacky flashing lights!

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 05/12/2023 17:10

Op has said several times she will turn the lights off.

I know it takes a long time to read the whole thread but if you’re going to call someone unreasonable it’s only fair to read a little way down.

Baldieheid · 05/12/2023 17:14

slore · 05/12/2023 14:22

Nope. He didn't mention it and only 3% of people with epilepsy have the photosensitive variety.

Also, only certain frequencies and patterns of flashing lights trigger seizures in photosensitive epilepsy, it's not just any old flashing. Products with lights (and TV shows etc) are not allowed to use these frequencies and patterns.

Show quote history

Still makes us feel ill, in many cases.

You know that feeling when you come off a fairground ride? The vomit in the throat, the spinning head, the need to sit down before you fall over?

That's what I feel like with flashing lights, as an epileptic, even if they don't trigger a seizure.

How would you like to feel like that all December?

Lights that are steady, or that have a twinkle or a slow fade are brilliant, I love them. Flashing bastards that make me and those like me feel ill are a scourge and i do hope that a little consideration for us isn't too much to ask.

Kazboo1 · 05/12/2023 17:17

Some people can't have flashing lights as it starts fits!, convulsions..I have had to tell shops not to have their lights flashing....many people have the condition.....like at a disco..when they use to.put the flashing lights on.which I hated and walked out it ruined a night.

Bingobatman · 05/12/2023 17:19

Thank you op for your decision to put them on static! It’s very considerate of you.
I also find flashing lights difficult because I can’t concentrate on anything else without being distracted by then. They do my head in. I’ve never understood why anyone would put them up if the intention is to make the world a prettier/better/more attractor place, but I realise now that not everyone must have their attention caught by flashing lights as much as I do.
So a big thank you.

jannier · 05/12/2023 17:21

Chop your children's hands off....seriously electric devices are not toys and they should not be played with control of your kids ...flashing lights are awful as are blue ones.

HarryOHayandBettyOBarley · 05/12/2023 17:22

SuddenlyISee · 05/12/2023 12:16

Outside Christmas lights got put up on Sunday morning going around a couple of the windows at the front of the house (we live end terrace on a close).
We were out till late on Sunday evening so they were only on for probably an hour that day and then I switched them on when I got home from work at about 3:30 yesterday. Within an hour, my opposite neighbour knocked on my door and said that although he really likes the "Christmas cheer", could we not have them flashing all the time as they are disturbing him at night. They are turned off no later than 10pm as that is when we go to bed. There are multiple settings and I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is. I just feel like I'm going to spend the next few weeks worrying that our lights are offending him and wonder if I should just take them down. The neighbours either side of the neighbour that complained have both got the same lights as us so I have the same view as him, if not more so, and I can't see how it would affect anyone

Of course you can stop your children changing the light settings.

If you can’t, then take them down.

jannier · 05/12/2023 17:23

JustAGirlScotland · 05/12/2023 12:21

I can’t help but feel that if you are light sensitive then it is your duty to buy yourself black out blinds or curtains! Otherwise you will be continually annoyed by street lights, cars driving past and neighbours outside lights.

I am not bothered by outside lights but DH is so we bought black out blinds. I wouldn’t dream of bothering neighbours unless they were being excessively noisy!

Seriously buy black out blinds for your whole front in case some inconsiderate idiot puts flashing lights up for 3 weeks out of 52?

NoTouch · 05/12/2023 17:25

Flashing lights must be really annoying for your neighbours who cannot completely close blinds/curtains.

There are multiple settings and I can't control that my children keep changing them when I'm not in the room where the plug is.

Your children are either old enough to be told to leave the plug alone, or too young to be playing with plugs.

theduchessofspork · 05/12/2023 17:28

Janiie · 05/12/2023 14:02

I had no idea flashing lights were so verboten on mn.

I see houses covered with them wherever we go.

We have an epileptic in the family and they haven't ever been bothered by them.

What about inflatable snow men, are they a health and safety risk too?!

I would ignore them op.

Flashing lights are the most irritating thing - they are constantly blinking in your fielding of vision and make it really hard to either relax or focus on work. (I know you didn’t know this OP)

Inflatable snowmen - bring it on, they don’t impact on anyone else