To get down because other DC's are so high achieving.

[Greyskyrain]

Just that really. My DC is doing GCSES this year and will achieve mediocre results at best.
Everyone seems to have such high achieving children, both in real life and on mumsnet. Mums boasting about their genius DC has become the norm where I live.

Does anyone else feel this way?

One of mine was a late maturerer. He did at the last minute scrape grade Cs in many GCSEs, which was a pleasant surprise after not doing so in mocks. He got into college, started to flourish, got BCC. Got an aspirational offer accepted at a university that weighted towards disadvantaged areas and was usually has higher grades. Really came into his own there, found he was better at focused individual study in one subject. Got a 2:1 and went onto stay for a Masters degree. The fidgety boy with D/E in mocks who was a bit too unfocused to follow school lessons.
His sister was very academic at school, the model student. Everyone compared them. They ended up with the same university outcomes and in jobs they wanted, just one for school better. It was sad he spent so many years thinking he wasn’t as bright.
School really isn’t the be all and end all, they can achieve post 16… or totally bomb after good GCSEs.

I find it so hard to get the balance right.

DD is very academic, works really hard, would have been diagnosed with Asperger's in old money, she's that obsessed and 100% in certain subjects. She was top in her school for GCSEs. So I'm the proud doting mum for her results and achievements.

DS is what I badly describe as "normal". He'll get 5s and 6s, maybe a 7 in his favourites. And that'll get him where he wants to be and that's fine too. But he's also battled anxiety around school attendance and MH issues following covid. So for him to just get up and carry on in the morning makes me just as proud. But that's harder to write on social media or whatever, so I feel like I'm always praising DD.

They should never have changed it to numbers either. A "6" sounds a bit shit compared to "B".

The kids feel it as well don't they?

Let me tell you a story.

My aunt and cousins were living with us at the time I started high school.

My cousin and I started high school on the same day at seperate girls' schools.

I got a bunch of O Levels, she got a couple of O levels and a few CSEs.

We went to the same VI form, she wanted to go there, I didn't but after 2 years I had some crap A Levels and she got UUU.

We both went in to HE as adults.

I now live in a HA home on a council estate and I'm on benefits.

She is deputy head of a primary school and owns her own home.

Be proud of your child's achievements at GCSE, whatever they get. They can dictate the next couple of years, but they do not dictate your entire future.

In a cafe recently with a couple of friends and when the conversation came round to one friends dd’s (excellent) exam results, she very obviously increased the volume of her voice so that all the people seated in that area of the cafe could hear! It was embarrassing.

My dd really had to put the work in. She got onto the college course that she wanted which will put her into the industry she wants to work in. And my dd is nice and everyone knows she’s nice. My friends dd is really mean and unkind at times. So I’m proud of my dd and I’m glad that we are a humble family and that I don’t feel a need to brag loudly in a cafe. I’d rather be us.

Your role is to help your child fulfill their potential.

I know this isn't tone thread has gone down but God yes! And its not just academics - other kids get not just great university results but prizes for best in year, or are county level at sport, or are on tour with their band at 16.

I sometimes feel bad that i didnt push an extra curricular more.

I know what you mean @GardenGnomic but then you have to ask yourself why 54% of young people say they are depressed (or whatever it is).

I pushed myself to be strong academically as my mother sure the hell wasn't going to.

So I pushed my own children to do their very best so they could excel in life.

But bragging about it, probably just to family as before social media and besides nobody else really gives a shite.

I was a bright spark at school but barely scraped a degree and have a very average career

But I'm happy. I have more interests in my life than what I do for a job. That's a really boring metric of success.

As long as your children work hard and are happy, results are really irrelevant.

👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍

My DC sit their GCSEs next year, they are hard workers and put effort into whatever they do. They are likely to get mainly 6s and 7s which they are pleased with so, of course, I am pleased that’s where they are heading. I don’t tell anyone about their parent evenings or their school reports although they are both good. The reason I don’t is because of their older sibling who had lots of potential but whose behaviour at school was appalling, he basically gave up on school and has left many other education opportunities since. Seeing all those glowing reviews of other peoples children doing brilliantly broke my heart at the time and I decided not to be part of that anymore (I had bragged a lot about my eldest ds’s achievements prior to this). My DC prefer their information is kept private and love the at home treats for great work so I think it’s a good balance. My DD, who is younger, gets the same rewards for good effort so I don’t mention her either.
In contrast, I often see social media posts by the parents of children I work with around reports/parents evening times and can say there is definitely some poetic licence being taken - some of the children are unrecognisable in their parents posts 😉

@Weddingpuzzle I think this is one of the best posts I’ve ever read on mumset, laminate it and print it out! Happiness is what’s important, not grades.

School results are important for a start up in some careers, but not everyone wants that.

I wish I’d thought more about what would make me happy rather than what was deemed ‘success’