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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it okay to ask my nan to be my Maid of Honour?

63 replies

GirlsAloudReturnMadeMyYEAR · 03/12/2023 21:01

Been engaged a while. I'd love to include my nan in my wedding in a big way and have her as my maid of honour. She would love all the girlyness of the day and getting dressed up and having her makeup on with all of us girls and the other bridesmaids. I also think she would be great at the role. I know nothing about weddings except from what I've learned from planning my own. It's judt s traditional, normal British wedding really so wouldn't be asking for her to do anything ott. Is there anything I'm massively missing in why this can't happen? For what it's worth she's very elderly but mobile and more active than me in my 20's. Every other bridesmaid is in their 20's and I wouldn't want to pick out of family and friends...should I do it?

Not really an aibu but...

Yabu-please let me know why! Especially if there's something I don't know about.
Yanbu-nan for maid of honour

OP posts:
Purplebunnie · 03/12/2023 22:15

I think it's the most enchanting idea I've ever heard of.

AdviceFromMums · 03/12/2023 22:16

This is a beautiful idea 💖 I bet she would be honoured. A truely beautiful idea.
Would she be able to stand for the whole ceremony?
She may need a wee fancy MOH chair incase she needs a seat.

MelsMoneyTree · 03/12/2023 22:18

It's such a lovely idea.

LightSpeeds · 03/12/2023 22:23

How lovely. That's brought a tear to my eye!!

NotEnoughTime · 03/12/2023 22:23

Absolutely. Of course it would be ok :)

Or she could walk you down the aisle if she/you would prefer that.

Chickfilay · 03/12/2023 22:31

I think it's sweet. I saw a post from a wedding photographer on insta, he shot a wedding where two grans were 'flower girls' and honestly, it was so lovely. I wish my grannies had been alive to see me get married. Do it.

Original poster
GirlsAloudReturnMadeMyYEAR · 03/12/2023 22:34

Ahhh I'm sooo pleased with these responses thank you so much everybody. I will ask her when I see her on Wednesday, I have a feeling she will say yes!

OP posts:
LakeTiticaca · 03/12/2023 22:43

Lovely idea. I would love to be a maid of honour for my granddaughter but she's only 8 at the moment so it's not a big likelihood 😒

Tessisme · 03/12/2023 23:22

I think this is one of the loveliest things I've heard. I hope you and your nan will have a fantastic day.

CeCeDrake · 03/12/2023 23:48

ABSOLUTELY!! I am a wedding officiant and would 100% encourage this!!

sweetpickle23 · 03/12/2023 23:53

A lovely idea OP. And ignore the pedantic ‘matron of honour’ comments, you can call her what you like.

Incidentally, whilst that may be the “correct” term, I’ve been to a million weddings and the person assuming that role is always called maid of honour regardless of marital status- a very weird ageism about the insistence here.

StellarSue · 04/12/2023 09:31

sweetpickle23 · 03/12/2023 23:53

A lovely idea OP. And ignore the pedantic ‘matron of honour’ comments, you can call her what you like.

Incidentally, whilst that may be the “correct” term, I’ve been to a million weddings and the person assuming that role is always called maid of honour regardless of marital status- a very weird ageism about the insistence here.

What a strange post. It isn’t “ageism,” it is simply the correct and respectful way to refer to her title: Matron of Honour.

Starsnspikes · 04/12/2023 14:47

This made me cry! What a beautiful idea. Please let us know what she says when you ask her!

Re the hen do, you could do a close family and bridesmaids afternoon tea, to include your Nan? Then get your bridesmaids to plan the main hen do (assuming it'll be a boozier less Nan-friendly affair!).

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