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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is it okay to ask my nan to be my Maid of Honour?

63 replies

GirlsAloudReturnMadeMyYEAR · 03/12/2023 21:01

Been engaged a while. I'd love to include my nan in my wedding in a big way and have her as my maid of honour. She would love all the girlyness of the day and getting dressed up and having her makeup on with all of us girls and the other bridesmaids. I also think she would be great at the role. I know nothing about weddings except from what I've learned from planning my own. It's judt s traditional, normal British wedding really so wouldn't be asking for her to do anything ott. Is there anything I'm massively missing in why this can't happen? For what it's worth she's very elderly but mobile and more active than me in my 20's. Every other bridesmaid is in their 20's and I wouldn't want to pick out of family and friends...should I do it?

Not really an aibu but...

Yabu-please let me know why! Especially if there's something I don't know about.
Yanbu-nan for maid of honour

OP posts:
Dimondsareforever · 03/12/2023 21:28

What a lovely idea! Very sweet!

sunshineandshowers40 · 03/12/2023 21:30

Lovely idea ❤️

CatsCocktailsCareers · 03/12/2023 21:30

That is a lovely idea. I bet she will be thrilled to be your matron of honour.

KarmaisYOURboyfriend · 03/12/2023 21:31

This post has made my evening ♥️

PrimoPancake · 03/12/2023 21:31

Lovely idea. Married women are matrons of honour.

Love the suggestion upthread ' Grand Matron of Honour ' for her!

Isometimeswonder · 03/12/2023 21:35

Think about your wedding photos. How wonderful to have your nan in the centre of your pics after she's gone. I think it's an honour to her.

justanothernamechangemonday · 03/12/2023 21:36

Love a post that makes me smile from ear to ear. Excellent idea OP!!! Star

Eccle80 · 03/12/2023 21:42

That’s lovely, I’m sure she would be thrilled. When we got married we each had one grandmother still alive, they were our witnesses and signed the register as we wanted to include them in some way

Westnorwood · 03/12/2023 21:43

Your thread title gave me a warm glow. Such as lovely idea.

Lwrenagain · 03/12/2023 21:51

I'm such a wet lettuce I cried reading this! 😂

Absolutely amazing idea, if she wouldn't mind can you update this thread with what she says and how much she's enjoyed the day etc? ❤

wineoclock90 · 03/12/2023 21:52

Lovely idea ❤️

Sugarfree23 · 03/12/2023 21:57

I don't mean to piss on your parade, couple of things for you to think about.

How many bridesmaids are you having?
Will Nan want to wear similar colours or dresses to the other Bridesmaids?
Will it change the dynamics of your Hen do having her there?

Another special way to include her is to ask her to do a reading.

You can still have her on the top table etc

RedVanYellowVan · 03/12/2023 22:01

How wonderful, how nice to see such a happy thread.

Have a fabulous day.

itsmylife7 · 03/12/2023 22:01

Sugarfree23 · 03/12/2023 21:57

I don't mean to piss on your parade, couple of things for you to think about.

How many bridesmaids are you having?
Will Nan want to wear similar colours or dresses to the other Bridesmaids?
Will it change the dynamics of your Hen do having her there?

Another special way to include her is to ask her to do a reading.

You can still have her on the top table etc

But you're pissing on her parade.

Fantastic idea OP

Brendabigbaps · 03/12/2023 22:02

My great aunt was my MOH.

DramaAlpaca · 03/12/2023 22:04

#NanForMatronOfHonour

I wish I'd thought of that at the time and had my nan as mine!

ProfCee · 03/12/2023 22:05

Absolutely love this!

catwithflowers · 03/12/2023 22:06

How lovely. My daughter recently got engaged and will ask my dad, her grandad, to give her away. Her own dad died a few years ago. He is in his eighties and not especially mobile but could manage a walk down the aisle. He gave me away at my second wedding several years ago too ❤️

AdoraBell · 03/12/2023 22:07

Not unreasonable at all. Your wedding, you do what you want for your wedding.

Whatwouldnanado · 03/12/2023 22:08

What a wonderful idea!

QueSyrahSyrah · 03/12/2023 22:09

Sugarfree23 · 03/12/2023 21:57

I don't mean to piss on your parade, couple of things for you to think about.

How many bridesmaids are you having?
Will Nan want to wear similar colours or dresses to the other Bridesmaids?
Will it change the dynamics of your Hen do having her there?

Another special way to include her is to ask her to do a reading.

You can still have her on the top table etc

There's absolutely no reason the MOH has to wear the same dresses as the bridesmaids though? The OP's Nan could choose something lovely to suit her in the same or a toning colour. It's nice for the MOH to stand out from the other bridesmaids in any case.

QueSyrahSyrah · 03/12/2023 22:09

Ps.. Wonderful idea OP! 💞

jackstini · 03/12/2023 22:09

Best post I have read on Mumsnet all day

Wonderful idea!

ThinWomansBrain · 03/12/2023 22:12

Bit odd, but if it's what you'd both like - I think she'd be a Matron of honour, rather than a maid?

Wellhellooooodear · 03/12/2023 22:13

Love it!