To think my female friend is a misogynist?

[TheAverageJoanne]

Watching Strictly with a friend yesterday and after the first dance my friend said that she didn't think Emma Watson was "pretty enough" to have played Belle.

She's said similar about Nicola Roberts "she's not that pretty" and about a woman she knows who's "not very pretty" and whose husband cheats because "he's so good looking he can have whoever he wants" (he's not. I've seen a picture of him) She went on to tell me that this woman has to give her husband a BJ when he's on the phone as it's exciting.

I'm questioning my friend and her views. I get that we don't have to like every woman in the public eye - I don't - but it's not because they aren't "pretty".

And I loathe that word anyway. Why are some women like this to one another?

She sounds like a spiteful gossip. Why is she telling you about another woman's sex life?

Your friend sounds unpleasant.

Meh, I've slagged off male actors and called them "too ugly" when they've been cast in a heartthrob role..

She sounds a bit bitchy but I also think Emma Watson wasn’t beautiful enough to play Belle.

She sounds dumb as a rock. Really hard of thinking. Yes she’s absorbed the patriarchy nicely. Why waste time with her?

Tell her that being judgmental is an ugly trait.

She sounds revolting. And the problem with Emma Watson as Belle is that she can't act or sing.

I agree with her about EW. I don't like her though after the JKR business. Your friend is obsessed with looks by the sound of it and has strange ideas on relationships. I'd be asking her if everything is ok and starting to educate her a bit. On this subject, as brilliant as an actress she is, Chloë Grace Moretz was too attractive to play Carrie.

I'm no fan of Emma Watson but that's because of the way she treated JK Rowling.

Personally, I think it sounds more like a self esteem issue in your friend rather than misogyny. A classic case of ‘attack is the best form of defence’. She’s verbalising these criticisms of other women to make herself feel better about…herself. Not a nice trait at all and one of the quickest ways to lose friends.

Internalised misogyny to fit in to the kind of society culture we live in.

I don't think saying a woman isn't good-looking enough to play a certain character is misogynist necessarily, depends if she ever does it with blokes too. I've certainly seen blokes in roles where they are supposedly meant to be really attractive and thought mehhhh but he's not even hot?

To add, she’s likely complimentary of certain men as she gets a lot (if not most) of her value from men and them appreciating her. It’s almost like she has to diss the women to make them unattractive in her eyes to then reason that she’s better from a male perspective.

also she has some seriously issues of self esteem so projecting inflicting and could be a Narc ect too.

This isn’t misogyny, it is cattiness/mean girl/nasty gossip behaviour.

@LouLaBear23

Yes you are so right about that one,

You've reminded me of a equally as shitty kind of woman i had misfortune come across exactly the same

exactly

So did / do you challenge what she says?

I think it depends, swap out Emma for Meghan Markle and opinions will change.

It's incredibly easy for women to be ensnared by misogynistic rhetoric as it permeates everything. If anything your friend sounds like a bore, not a misogynist.

It's her opinion.. does not make her a misogynist

Her opinions might be catty, but wouldn't bother me too much, but i couldn't respect anyone who let their DH cheat like that, especially with such a nauseating excuse!

This 🙈

I don't even understand how the example of the friend and cheating DH is misogyny? Seriously op, did upon just learn a new word?

Yes, it's bitchy and I would be very cautious about her. That's not misogyny though. How is gossiping and telling you personal info misogyny?

Opinions about random famous people are not that deep. Saying a man or woman is not that attractive does not equal misogyny necessarily.

I don't think it's misogyny to have opinions on how 'pretty' (or handsome, or attractive, etc.) anyone is, male of female. Particularly celebrities whose careers are largely based on their appearance. But your friend should remember that tastes vary and beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

I'd have a much bigger problem with her discussing the sex lives of people you both know. Yuck, no thanks for that information!

I think it's internalised misogyny yes. Where women hold other women to higher standards than mediocre men for example.

And I'm also not an Emma fan over the JK issue too. JK is amazing.

Plus she’s neither a great singer nor actress 🤷🏽‍♀️.

She sounds nasty, but not misogynistic.