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Original poster

why would an ex call you after more than 10 years of silence ?

33 replies

Alyssa80 · 03/12/2023 01:20

HI

My ex called me yesterday, out of the blue, after 14 years of radio silence.
He was my first love and I thought we were in a relationship for 3 years only to find out I was just his side piece to the side piece.
He broke up with me by blocking me on his phone and social media and that was it.

A mutual friend reached out to me about 2 weeks ago. We had also lost contact for years. We talked about everything but him.
So I was very surprised to get a call from him. He said the mutual friend told him about our reconnection so he also wanted to get in touch. We chatted for 10-15 mn, he asked me about my life and told me to save his contact.

Now, I'm wondering, why would a man call an ex girlfriend he didn't really care about, after more than 10 years ? We were never close friends and don't have any common interests, personal or professional circle anymore, so what's the point ?

OP posts:
WandaWonder · 03/12/2023 01:23

We wouldn't have any idea maybe ask them?

SkankingWombat · 03/12/2023 01:25

He's grown up a bit, possibly been at the shitty end of the stick himself since, and wants to offload the guilt he now feels?

Who knows without speaking to him, but I doubt it's for reasons that are in your best interests.

cerisepanther73 · 03/12/2023 01:35

Something major has changed in his life such as he has split up from his girlfriend ect,
and
he is just bored curious looking for possible ego trip boost from yourself,
what if? if only 🤔 i had stayed with her how would things worked out?,
"Grass is allways greener syndrome complex"

also could well be due to a personality disorder type of person your ex , such Narastistic or schiopathatic tendencies ect..

Move on, keep this headfuck of an ex in very much in your past,

You were way far too good for him back then and very much still are too..

Don't entertain the idea of him in entertaining your life for even a second
that's the path of lunacy chaos ect leads to

Run 🏃‍♀️ 🏃‍♂️ opposite direction

Massive red flag banner size of communist one this very much is...

cerisepanther73 · 03/12/2023 01:42

Why care about what he thinks? 🤔

you are not some kind of social experment for your headfuck of an ex to play mind games with, to just pick up randomly out of the blue to give him whenever he feels like an a stroke to boost his fragile ego..

cerisepanther73 · 03/12/2023 01:44

Oops typo mistake on second post , should have been word entering *

SnowAndGlow · 03/12/2023 01:45

Everyone in his life has grown tired and wise to his shit and, as he’s older now it’s not as easy to hook up with new people, so he’s hoping to re visit things with you.

I wouldn’t even chat to him again. Twat.

cerisepanther73 · 03/12/2023 01:48

@SnowAndGlow

Oh yes that is so true too,

Sage wise advice

nailed it on the head, i can amagine that senerio situation too

cerisepanther73 · 03/12/2023 01:51

His hoping that he catch you at unguarded weak point when you are vunerable unawares of his dubious intentions...

Stopsnowing · 03/12/2023 02:01

Read High Fidelity

Museum10660 · 03/12/2023 02:05

i saw my ex a couple of weeks ago and although we havent been in contact the look i got suggested there was more to be said but they were with there current partner.

that said for me if they were to want to reconnect then i would guess that the marriage was on the rocks then it would be them wanting to be reconnecting and old feelings etc

obviously i could be wrong

pizzaHeart · 03/12/2023 02:19

Could it be related to your current job?

Monty27 · 03/12/2023 02:28

He's been dumped by someone recently and while naval gazing and licking his wounds, the friend tells him he's been in touch. Then he thought it was a good idea.
And he was pissed.

Panaa · 03/12/2023 02:35

SkankingWombat · 03/12/2023 01:25

He's grown up a bit, possibly been at the shitty end of the stick himself since, and wants to offload the guilt he now feels?

Who knows without speaking to him, but I doubt it's for reasons that are in your best interests.

Unless he led with an immediate mature apology and reflected on his behaviour to the OP then I would say he hasn't grown up at all.

PJHashem · 03/12/2023 02:57

You’re wondering about why he would call… I’m wondering about why you would answer and carry on a 10-15 min conversation.

He treated you terribly. Anyone with a decent sense of self worth would have left him in the past where he belonged and not entertained a phone call or the resulting mind fuck of trying to figure out his intentions and what it all means.

WowOK · 03/12/2023 03:10

He wants a side chick.

Block and delete. He had no respect for you then after you gave him 3 years of your life he certainly won't have any for you know.

He wants something from you. He wants sex, money, an ego boost or to appease a guilt conscience. It is most definitely all about him and not about you or what you need or deserve.

Don't waste anymore of your life on this man.

Guavafish1 · 03/12/2023 03:15

My ex did this too, it's just life. I won't read too much into it.

I've lost contact with ex again

Ellamaelucyolivia · 03/12/2023 03:24

He fancies a shag.

ThirtyThrillionThreeTrees · 03/12/2023 04:39

Men never go away permanently.

Every ex I have ever had, regardless of who did the breaking up, has contacted me again after a period of time. Some with regret or asking for another chance but mainly just when they were horny.

It's rarely anything more than looking for sex or attention.

MintJulia · 03/12/2023 04:45

He's lonely and fancies a posterity bonk.

tachycardigan · 03/12/2023 04:53

why would a man call an ex girlfriend he didn't really care about, after more than 10 years ?

it’s very common. A better question for you would be why on earth you gave him the time of day after the way he treated you?

MindfullyAmazedHorse · 03/12/2023 05:12

It’s because he wants something.

Probably a new bit on the side. I think men like that often try it on with women at every available opportunity, as they’ll hit lucky some of the time.

He probably heard your friend had spoken to you & thought he’d try his luck. The fact that you chatted to him & have saved his number probably means he’ll try it on soon.

PieAndLattes · 03/12/2023 05:27

He’s bored/drunk/lonely and wants to get his leg over. Block and move on.

PippyLongTits · 03/12/2023 05:30

Perhaps his partner has just had a baby and he is not getting as much attention at home so he is looking for someone to give him some attention while his gf/wife is coping with hormonal changes and night feeds?

Pinkyhere · 03/12/2023 06:15

Mutual friend mentioned you and ex thought he would make contact to see if he could restart something again if he wanted to.

Dont wait to be called again when all his other options run dry.

He treated you disgustingly. Block him and don't allow yourself to be hurt or used by him again.

MargotBlobby · 03/12/2023 06:24

You’re asking the wrong question.

The real question is ‘why would someone pick up the phone and chat to an ex who treated them appallingly?’