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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To bring my 1 year into my bed tonight

50 replies

lilianash · 02/12/2023 18:39

My 18 month old has never slept in our bed. She's always been a fantastic sleeper and has slept through the night since 4 months.

I'm home alone tonight as hubby is out and I'm thinking it would be a really nice treat for us both to bring her into my bed when I go to bed. A little sleepover.

She's already asleep in her bed but Id love to go and get her and bring her in for a night of snuggles.

Is that a silly thing to do???

OP posts:

JoannaStayton · 02/12/2023 18:41

Yes!

mummyh2016 · 02/12/2023 18:42

Honestly don't do it. She won't understand tomorrow why she can't sleep in your bed.

Rjahdhdvd · 02/12/2023 18:42

Probably no harm done but it’s unlikely to be how you think. She’ll probably be really wriggly and you won’t sleep

Orangeteatime · 02/12/2023 18:43

Yes - she's sleeping so it won't be a treat for her. It won't be a treat for you either if she realises it's an option and starts coming in regularly.

Hiddenvoice · 02/12/2023 18:44

I’m so jealous your 18 month old is already asleep. My 19month old is up drinking her milk and enjoying a little supper!

It’s entirely up to you. My little one comes into bed regularly with dh and I when she’s having a really bad night. She’s usually a good sleeper but some nights is just unsettled. Everyone told us to avoid it but it was the only way we could Sleep some nights.

Are you sure it won’t disturb their sleep and wake them up?
My little one rolls all around so dh and I are her bumpers but I’d feel a little worried if she was in with just me as I’d need to try create a wall of pillows of Something to stop her rolling.

Littlegoth · 02/12/2023 18:44

Terrible idea. You’ve got this image of idyllic cuddles. That won’t happen. She will sleep sideways, and kick you in the head while screaming ‘no’ for absolutely no reason. Then she will want to repeat it tomorrow night.

WanderingWitches · 02/12/2023 18:44

I wouldn't if she's already asleep.

Floralnomad · 02/12/2023 18:45

Don’t do it , she’s happy where she is and if you do it tonight she will expect it any other night .

wineoclock90 · 02/12/2023 18:46

Leave her to sleep. No point starting something as she'll want to be in your bed always well not in my experience as my son is fine to go in his cot but from what I've heard from others

ApolloandDaphne · 02/12/2023 18:47

Do not do this. Enjoy the bed all to yourself instead.

Fleur405 · 02/12/2023 18:47

So my 20 month old is currently sleeping very badly and I work full time and my OH is away so I have no choice but to take her into my bed. I’m literally black and blue from being kicked. I’ve woken up in a headlock (a kind of sweet one as she was trying to give me kisses but it was 3 am so you know, didnt love it) and also by being head butted in the face.

Sharing a bed with a toddler is not a treat.

Createausername1970 · 02/12/2023 18:48

They transform into a star shape on the stroke of midnight and take up all the available space. Then they start dreaming and kicking or waving their arms around and you end up moving even closer to the edge to avoid it all. Unless you like sleeping on the very edge of the bed all night and getting regularly kicked in the kidneys or smacked round the ear, leave them where they are and look lovingly at them from their doorway.

Werewolfnotswearwolf · 02/12/2023 18:49

My 16month old has also never slept in our bed- lovely idea in theory but in practice, when we’ve brought him in at 4am on those nights we’ve been up forever between us, he’s tried to prise our eyes open, climb on our heads, shout MILK and NAKS into our ears and no one has a good time.

get yourself into bed now with a book and a glass of wine or cup of tea and enjoy the time to yourself!

gerteddy · 02/12/2023 18:52

It might be ok for one night but I'd say don't start it unless u want to make it a habit! My just turned 4yr old still sleeps in our bed. She just comes in through the night climbs up and plonks herself in the middle of us. She actually slept in her own bed 3 times recently all night which was a first! Twice in the last week.

I love her being in bed for cuddles but it's not all cuddles. She kicks the covers off, has to be right up against one of us. Often likes to pull my hair as her comfort thing and generally disturbs our sleep!

FTMbg · 02/12/2023 18:52

I think you'd be better off with a hot water bottle or borrowing a teddy bear!

cestlavielife · 02/12/2023 18:54

Take a hot water bottle to bed
Leave your sleeping child

W0tnow · 02/12/2023 18:56

Do it! It’s lovely 🥰

CyberCritical · 02/12/2023 18:57

They have an almost magical ability to take up more space than a 20 stone 7ft man does. They sleep starfished and roll over eleventy billion times. It seems like a lovely snuggly idea till the 12th time you wake up with an elbow or toe in your eye.

2chocolateoranges · 02/12/2023 18:58

If she is already asleep then leave her sleeping, don’t disturb her.

are you frightened to sleep alone?

TeaKitten · 02/12/2023 18:59

Daft idea. She’s already asleep and she wouldn’t understand. If she was 5 it’d be different, but I still wouldn’t move a child once they were already asleep.

Ollifer · 02/12/2023 19:00

If she's already asleep don't do it. She'll probably want to do it again tomorrow and is way too young to understand it's a one off treat. I know the feeling though. Im a single parent and often just wanna bring mine into snuggle up 😂 I do if he has a nightmare or is sick.

TheLurpackYears · 02/12/2023 19:02

Go and give her a good sniff and then take a cuppa to bed and enjoy the space. It's real unlikely to be as amazing as you imagine.

Quickredfox · 02/12/2023 19:02

Don’t change what she’s used to. Just have cuddin bed in the morning.

SharonEllis · 02/12/2023 19:04

lilianash · 02/12/2023 18:39

My 18 month old has never slept in our bed. She's always been a fantastic sleeper and has slept through the night since 4 months.

I'm home alone tonight as hubby is out and I'm thinking it would be a really nice treat for us both to bring her into my bed when I go to bed. A little sleepover.

She's already asleep in her bed but Id love to go and get her and bring her in for a night of snuggles.

Is that a silly thing to do???

Yes. Never ever disturb a routine that works.

2023forme · 02/12/2023 19:04

I wouldn’t - she may enjoy it so much she wants it all the time. You are unlike to get a good sleep and it’s not as if she’s ill or anything.

I once tried having DS in with us when he wouldn’t sleep and it was a frickin nightmare- as others have said, wriggling, punching, kicking etc. once was enough!

I also tried this with one of my cats and lived to regret it. She was sleeping all lovely and cosy on top of my bed and I thought I’d just leave her there rather than put her in the kitchen where they normally sleep. Woken at 230am with her giving herself a full bed bath right next to my head. Tried to nod off again then she started sitting on my head, sticking her bum in my face etc. never again to that too!

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