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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To bring my 1 year into my bed tonight

50 replies

lilianash · 02/12/2023 18:39

My 18 month old has never slept in our bed. She's always been a fantastic sleeper and has slept through the night since 4 months.

I'm home alone tonight as hubby is out and I'm thinking it would be a really nice treat for us both to bring her into my bed when I go to bed. A little sleepover.

She's already asleep in her bed but Id love to go and get her and bring her in for a night of snuggles.

Is that a silly thing to do???

OP posts:

maddiemookins16mum · 02/12/2023 19:09

So basically you’re wanting to use your already asleep wain as a comfort to you and are dressing it up as a sleepover.

wineandmaltesershappyme · 02/12/2023 19:11

No no no.
She's asleep, you'll disturb her.
They move, a lot! I get elbowed in the ribs and boob, kicked in the stomach, made boiling hot by her pressed up against me or freezing cold when she's kicked or pulled the duvet off. Not fun. Only ever do it when she's poorly or had a bad dream.

Nofilteritwonthelp · 02/12/2023 19:13

I woudont unless you don't mind it happens forever! Sometimes I'm tempted but I don't want to risk it being a permanent thing!

misslooloo · 02/12/2023 19:14

Do it!

i love it when my husband is away and my 10 and 13 year olds fight over whose turn it is to sleep with me. I know it won’t be for much longer. 🥲

They’re not little for long. Enjoy it x

Favouritefruits · 02/12/2023 19:16

My kids love having the occasional sleep over! It’s lovely and really special as they know it doesn’t happen often! Give it a go!

Whinge · 02/12/2023 19:19

misslooloo · 02/12/2023 19:14

Do it!

i love it when my husband is away and my 10 and 13 year olds fight over whose turn it is to sleep with me. I know it won’t be for much longer. 🥲

They’re not little for long. Enjoy it x

But there's a huge difference between a 10 / 13 year old and a child who is 18 months. Your children understand it's just for one night and a special treat. At 18 months, there's no way OP should be disturbing her child's routine and potentially causing problems in the future. It seems like he OP only wants to wake her up just so she has some company, which is odd, as most people would love the bed to themselves for one night.

Hankunamatata · 02/12/2023 19:20

She's already asleep. It's not a treat for her. Leave her be

Thehonestbadger · 02/12/2023 19:21

DO NOT DO IT. Whilst you might want to and it may feel nice for you it’s not fair to her to disrupt her routine like that (mum of a 2&3yo who has been in your shoes multiple times)

CarrotCake01 · 02/12/2023 19:22

Leave your child alone. She's sleeping! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Fixyourself · 02/12/2023 19:34

Fuck me. Where do people find these sleeping babies that stay in their cot at night???

Timeturnerplease · 02/12/2023 19:34

Do not disturb a routine that works!

DD2 (2.5) has been in and out of our bed (DH relegated to sofa) since she was born. She’s wonderful to cuddle, likes to snuggle into my neck, mutters ‘love you’ when she climbs in next to me in the early hours….but also takes up ALL the space, talks in her sleep and asks for cheese at 4am.

DD1 (just 5) has luckily never slept in our bed. We didn’t know what had hit us when DD2 turned into a cosleeping gremlin every night after midnight.

Do not disturb the good sleeper!

YouReallyAre · 02/12/2023 19:56

Do not do it! I did this as she was unwell and I wanted to keep an eye on her and she didn't leave my bed for 10years!!

fourelementary · 02/12/2023 20:05

No. That’s not for her benefit it’s for yours. You expect her to sleep alone every night at 18 months and clearly have done for a long time, why can’t you even manage one night?

discopoodle · 02/12/2023 20:07

Do it if you're okay with an upset child tomorrow night when she doesn't understand why she's isn't in with mummy again.
I wouldn't upset a routine if she's already in a good one, if she wakes of her own accord then fine but don't disturb her to bring her in with you.

VivaVivaa · 02/12/2023 20:09

Don’t do it. Toddlers have no concept about nice things just being a one off!

Morechocmorechoc · 02/12/2023 20:09

Haha you've got yourself the perfect set up and you want to ruin it. It isn't even snuggles for her as she's asleep. Clearly you have no idea what it's like when a child only wants to sleep in your bed. I'd make a bet it would be a pretty stupid error.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 02/12/2023 20:12

100% leave her where she is. 100%. I cannot stress this enough.

Bring her in for morning lazy snuggles instead

Herecomestreble1 · 02/12/2023 20:13

As a mother to a 14 month old who has never slept through the night, I would encourage you to enjoy the whole bed to yourself and starfish out!

KCSIE · 02/12/2023 20:13

Heck no!

How would you feel if you fell asleep in one place then woke up in another and weren't able to understand why or how it happened, for a start? I'd be terrified of falling asleep again even if the place I woke up was a nice safe space, I'd be terrified of waking up in some unknown!

Let your little one sleep and enjoy starfishing across the bed yourself. Bring baby in for snoozy cuddles and stories when you both wake up tomorrow.

tokesqueen · 02/12/2023 20:15

Our DC never ever came into our bed and were great sleepers. They never even knew it was an option. I wouldn't want to plant the seed.
Nothing, nothing beats several undisturbed hours kip in your own bed. Keep it going.

writingwriting · 02/12/2023 20:37

I say leave her because you're using her because you're lonely.

She sleeps alone every night why can't you? If it's such a treat why've you never done it?

GHSP · 02/12/2023 20:41

Are you on glue?

you realise that even the sweetest, squishiest, cuddliest little tot suddenly turns into a sharp-edged kick-boxer who will squeal randomly, fart and generally heckle through the wee small hours

NoKnit · 02/12/2023 20:42

The time will come when she'll just come anyway and you'll have a jack in the box in your bed. It will irritate you no end. Then the time will also come when they no longer do it and you feel sad about it even though it was a total nightmare of sleep for a while.

T0rt0ise · 02/12/2023 20:47

I'd bring her in tomorrow morning and have cuddles and breakfast in bed, give her a hot chocolate and you a cuppa (can prep it all tonight) with some stories or a couple of episodes of Sarah and Duck or something similarly chill.

2mummies1baby · 02/12/2023 20:49

If she's asleep, it would be very selfish of you to disturb her. Let her sleep peacefully in her own bed.

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