If social contact results in higher longevity, what about introverts?

[malificent7]

Or those with toxic family?
Watching the blue zones with interest.
I am in awe of those people in the med socialising with generations of family.

I am in introvert with. difficult family. Luckily I have a lovely dh and I do have great colleagues atm. I love me time though.
Am i going to live a shorter life if I don't want to socialise as much and prefer distance from family?
In the past I had toxic friends, does socialising with them shorten life!?

Aint that the truth! I too am in my sixties and there has been a very long list of so called good/bad for you things over my lifetime - and yes, what is bad one year suddenly becomes good the next. Those of us with a grain of common sense just carry on with life as usual - and somehow most of us manage to survive.

Not all introverts are created equal, so to speak. I did one of those personality type tests for work recently and I am nearly 100% introverted, some people that were ‘labelled’ introverted were only 51% introverted. I have very few friends, and a fairly small family. I don’t value friendship that highly and I’m perfectly happy to spend very long periods alone. If someone made me socialise most days I’m more likely to die early, I suspect. The trick is to figure out what works for you as an individual.

I think it’s more subtle than that.

Introverts all things being equal probably do live shorter lives because they have a different quality of friendship compared to others.

Among the introverts I know, none of them would I feel in a position to say “I think you should get that checked out”. Whereas among the friendships, where someone is not worried about whether I need a saucer this is a possibility.

Also, introverted people are less likely to seek help either when they first get sick, or during recuperation. Therefore they have poorer outcomes.

I think quality is important in friendships, toxic friendships (with addicts, and personality disorders) of course they’re going to be life shortening.

The ‘outside world’ has become maddeningly overstimulating. In the past it was polite not to inflict yourself noisily on those around you.

Now music, lights, loud conversations, swearing… it’s so, so noisy.

I was outgoing as a youngster. The world has got so loud and intrusive though

I’m happier at home, quietly, now. I don’t go to anywhere busy. The whole ‘it’s too peopley out there’ trope fits me.

The world is heaving! I’m trying to move to the country.

"See I take issue with this: this is the prevailing narrative but I just don't buy this story. "

Well, look at schools. In our parents or grandparents' time it was each child behind a solo desk. By the 80s it was all about sitting in groups and sometimes group work and projects. Offices are increasingly becoming open plan. Refusing to participate in team building and socialising is frowned upon, promotions and advantages are often given to the popular (depending on the sector of course).

"I have both introvert and extrovert tendencies."

Most of us probably do.
I personally spent way too much time identifying as an introvert because of this 'energy' thing and then realising I don't have much in common with others who call themselves introverts.

Let's just smoke ourselves to death then.
After all it was considered good for you at one point.

@Gwenhwyfar

Its true that a lot of workplaces and schools do things to encourage socialisation. But I don’t see that as being about favouring extroverts. It’s about supporting cohesion within teams, which is really pretty critical for a well functioning organisation.

I think sometimes this goes too far and the kinds “team building” antics some go in for are cheesy and uncomfortable for some people and there are more intelligent ways to do it.

But there’s no getting away from the fact that most companies, bodies and businesses require people to work together to some degree. Imagine a government run by ministers who “hate people” and refuse to come in to work.

You simply can’t allow everyone to opt out of any social interaction on the grounds that they self identify as an “introvert”.

I like my work team & we sometimes socialise through choice.

Socialising with the wider company is another matter. I’ve made sure I’m free for the team Christmas lunch but I’m sadly double booked for the company Christmas party.

". Imagine a government run by ministers who “hate people” and refuse to come in to work."

I've worked with a few techies who are like that. Obviously, they come into work, but avoid contact as much as possible and don't communicate that well. However, it's so common among them that I think there's a certain tolerance for it.

I get your point about social cohesion, but I think you should accept too that putting an onus on socialising does favour some people over others.

@Gwenhwyfar

I get your point about social cohesion, but I think you should accept too that putting an onus on socialising does favour some people over others.

I do think the way socialising is promoted in a lot of workplaces at the moment is very unhelpful. "Team building" exercises such as paintballing, team sports and the need to overshare with colleagues. I can totally understand how more withdrawn and less confident people struggle with this. I'm a pretty socially confident person and I find it absolutely cringeworthy and avoid it if I can. Workplaces really need to rethink this approach.

But that doesn't change the fact that some social collaboration is necessary in any community and being an "introvert" (ie not really an introvert) isn't a get out of jail free card that allows you carte blanche to totally disengage from society.

In previous centuries society relied a lot more on in person co operation. You needed to be very very rich or care little for even the most basic comforts or personal security to "go your own way".

Those people who enable you to live a comfortable and safe life are still there but distance and tech means you don't really have to forge co operative relationships with them.

However I find the whole "too peopley" meme a bit disturbing. At its heart it is a basic contempt for people and failure to understand we all need this interconnected society that relies on the labour and co operation of others to live a decent and safe life. The cogs of this "machine" are humans who deserve repect and interaction.

This attituded manisfested itself during covid with people loftily declaring it wasn't too hard to stay indoors to avoid covid and people who didn't clearly weren't serious about protecting themselves. With little apprent thought for those who did need to leave the house to keep the whole show on the road.

@Ginmonkeyagain

However I find the whole "too peopley" meme a bit disturbing. At its heart it is a basic contempt for people and failure to understand we all need this interconnected society that relies on the labour and co operation of others to live a decent and safe life. The cogs of this "machine" are humans who deserve repect and interaction.

I totally agree. It’s really horrible and I loathe the way people lean into it as some sort of in joke. Stop indulging pathological behaviour.

The research about the health impact of social isolation is pretty robust.

My grandpa is a 92yo introvert from a Mediterranean country. He doesn't have many friends and doesn't talk too much but he still meets his neighbours everyday. He's close to his family, but only those members that he likes.

Socialising in Mediterranean countries just feels so natural and it's not only about meeting family. In fact, a lot of friends and neighbours are as present in your life as family.

I saw so many people withdraw after lockdown. It aged so many older people. Isolation is not good

Did I mention smoking? There's always someone who has to try and prove how smart they are

You said " too am in my sixties and there has been a very long list of so called good/bad for you things over my lifetime - and yes, what is bad one year suddenly becomes good the next."

Which I took to mean that you don't follow health advice because it can change.

I would have thought it was obvious to anyone with a grain of common sense that I wasn't talking about something as harmful as smoking. However, as we all know, common sense isn't actually very common.

Not many people in the western world live a blue zones life.

it’s also missing some info IMO

For example, the fact that us introverts should probably just surround ourselves with cats. Pets are good for your health too, and people suck more.