To deregister my daughter

Findingthisweekhard · 2023-12-01T23:01:44+00:00

My 5 year old is being educated out of cohort so she’s in reception but year 1 age. We did this because she struggled to cope, socialise, leave me at nursery. As well as very severe asthma and a heart condition. Well reception has been awful, her attendance is 80%, school aren’t managing her asthma at all and twice after I’ve collected her I’ve called an ambulance and she’s been admitted to hospital for a few days. Shes cried every morning going to school this week and I’ve had to carry her in, have her peeled off me and then walk away. And every day there’s been an incident where she’s been pushed over, excluded, laughed at and today she was told to fuck off, she’s 5! Continuing like this actually feels like abuse 💔

Neolara · 01/12/2023 23:04

Gosh. That sounds brutal for your DD. What does the teacher say about what is going on? I might be tempted to look for a different school.

SwordToFlamethrower · 01/12/2023 23:05

For God's sake, listen to your instincts and your child and pull her out.

She deserves nothing less than you

LIZS · 01/12/2023 23:08

Are there other schools nearby? Does she have an ehcp?

Forgottenmypasswordagain · 01/12/2023 23:13

Oh my, that broke my heart, your poor boo. Yes, take her out.

cestlavielife · 01/12/2023 23:15

Speak to senco and look at otheer schools and speak to LE A,

maybein2022 · 01/12/2023 23:17

I am a teacher. This is unacceptable. The asthma thing by itself is so worrying. What have the school said?

SusanKennedyshouldLTB · 01/12/2023 23:17

Not managing asthma is unforgivable. Look at another school. Put in a complaint. P

maybein2022 · 01/12/2023 23:18

And yes, do put in a complaint. One episode of them maybe not recognising how unwell she was might be excusable, maybe they should have asked for some training or reminders of what to look out for. Twice is not okay.

SwingTheMonkey · 01/12/2023 23:19

There’s no way she’d be sent into that situation every morning if that were my child.

Original poster

Findingthisweekhard · 01/12/2023 23:20

I have complained about the management of her ashtma, asked 4 times in 2 weeks for a meeting to arrange a IHCP and no one ever replies (phone call and email). All she has is a bit of paper that no one follows and she’s too shy to ask for her inhaler
the teacher says the other children are made to apologise and it’s being dealt with

OP posts:

Hankunamatata · 01/12/2023 23:20

Does she have an EHCP? Have you looked at other schools

Original poster

Findingthisweekhard · 01/12/2023 23:21

The 2 local schools to us don’t have a space for her.
ive asked for an EHC assessment and was told they didn’t think she’d meet the criteria for it to be accepted

OP posts:

Thegoodbadandugly · 01/12/2023 23:22

Just move her to a different school.

Original poster

Findingthisweekhard · 01/12/2023 23:22

There isn’t one with space.

OP posts:

AdoraBell · 01/12/2023 23:23

Definitely file a complaint and remove your DD.

maybein2022 · 01/12/2023 23:24

Findingthisweekhard · 01/12/2023 23:20

I have complained about the management of her ashtma, asked 4 times in 2 weeks for a meeting to arrange a IHCP and no one ever replies (phone call and email). All she has is a bit of paper that no one follows and she’s too shy to ask for her inhaler
the teacher says the other children are made to apologise and it’s being dealt with

Keep a paper trail, remove her from school and ring your local council office and get her on every waiting list possible. And email OFSTED listing your safeguarding concerns citing what you have said here. Honestly, I am normally pretty pro schools and as a teacher (not currently working) I normally back schools to the hilt, but not responding to correspondence relating to a life threatening condition is inexcusable.

SqueakyDinosaur · 01/12/2023 23:27

Also contact the school governors. They have more power than a lot of people realise.

Hankunamatata · 01/12/2023 23:29

If she can't ask for inhalers then I would argue that she may need a teaching assistant which could be applied for a ehc. You can apply yourself to lea but be prepared to appeal.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/12/2023 23:30

School isn't for everyone. Home education will do her the world of good, no doubt in my mind about that. I've always home educated my children and it's simply a wonderful way of life for both the children, and our family as a whole. All the best with it!

Fionaville · 01/12/2023 23:31

Listen to your instincts and do it. Home ed has been the best thing we ever did! We haven't done it for any medical or SEN needs. We just tried it during covid and loved it. There are lots of children being home educated due to medical reasons like diabetes. Join your local home ed Facebook groups, make friends. There is so much going on for home ed kids now and lots of socialising. You and your daughter won't look back.

BethDuttonsTwin · 01/12/2023 23:32

Oh pull her out. Don’t send her back on Monday. She can go back to another school later when something more suitable comes up. A few months off will make no difference whatsoever. I home educated my child after taking him out at age 8 due to constant issues around his diagnosed condition. He returned to college at age 16 and is doing great!

SwordToFlamethrower · 01/12/2023 23:33

ReadingSoManyThreads · 01/12/2023 23:30

School isn't for everyone. Home education will do her the world of good, no doubt in my mind about that. I've always home educated my children and it's simply a wonderful way of life for both the children, and our family as a whole. All the best with it!

Absolutely this. Don't traumatise your child because school is the "done thing". There are thousands of home ed families. Education is obligatory, school isn't.

Wexler1216 · 01/12/2023 23:37

Something needs to change.

Maybe contact your local homeschool group/s, see if there is a little ‘peer group’ you think would suit her?

Or if you are still interested in schools, pursue an EHCP and maybe consider private reports if you can afford it, a small class size might be able to meet her needs. (I have been through this process and it was a long and frustrating ordeal so I don’t suggest it lightly!)

Pumpkin82 · 01/12/2023 23:39

SENCO here. It is not the school's place to say whether or not your daughter would get an EHCP. This is the decision of the LA. Legally, as a parent, you can request a needs assessment. Once you have applied, the LA will then contact the school to ask for evidence. SENDIASS have some helpful resources for parents. As other posters have said, the management of your daughter's asthma is a safeguarding issue and I would be complaining to the head and then governors about this.

Dontjudgeme101 · 01/12/2023 23:53

Pumpkin82 · 01/12/2023 23:39

SENCO here. It is not the school's place to say whether or not your daughter would get an EHCP. This is the decision of the LA. Legally, as a parent, you can request a needs assessment. Once you have applied, the LA will then contact the school to ask for evidence. SENDIASS have some helpful resources for parents. As other posters have said, the management of your daughter's asthma is a safeguarding issue and I would be complaining to the head and then governors about this.

This is fantastic advice. I did my dd’s EHCP. I had a fantastic friend who helped me and l got help from SENDIAS too. I wouldn’t deregister as then the onerous will be on you to provide an education for your child unless you want to home-ed..
If she’s registered and not in school the LA will have a duty to provide an education for your child. Wether it be finding her a new school or putting in plans maybe for a tutor to temporarily come and provide some education for your child.I know this because this happened to my dd. Then eventually l heard of a school that could take her.