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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect a child to read with a grown up at least a couple of times in the first term of reception?

286 replies

Benibidibici · 01/12/2023 17:17

DC is late aug birthday so only just four on starting school. Happy there and enjoying it etc, settled in fine.

They are never heard read by any adult. Teacher has acknowledged this.

Have found out this week some kids are reading with an adult one on one three or four times a week.

I know they have to focus on the ones who need a bit of help but come the fuck on, how does a little 4 year old feel if they never get that little bit of one on one time with a grown up and others get loads? Its not just about the reading - its about that bit of attention, the teacher or TA learning who they are and how they respond. Surely they can fit in my DC once or twice a term if they can find 3 or 4 times a week for other kids. Dc hates never getting picked to go and read. :(

OP posts:
Tandora · 02/12/2023 14:23

CrispsandCheeseSandwich · 02/12/2023 13:03

It sounds like the other parents know because their children's reading diaries are regularly written in by the person they read to. And OP's child's reading diary is blank except for OP's own entries.

I know my 4 year old has only read to someone once, because that's all that's in the reading diary. I've basically given up with thinking the school will help with her reading. She's had the same reading book for weeks (which she's now memorised and I've written this multiple times in her diary) and they don't hear her read.

Show quote history

yes you are right, didn’t think of the reading diaries 🤦🏼‍♀️. In that case have to retract my previous comment and change vote. Thats awful your kid has only read to someone once! Could it be that they are just slack at filling out the diaries? How is your DD’s reading going?

Pipistrellus · 02/12/2023 14:53

As for volunteering during a lunchtime, lots of workplaces would be happy to allow a longer lunchtime to facilitate this... the hours just get made up flexibly by starting earlier/ finishing later etc. There is nothing very unusual about this.

Most parents, given flexibility, would be taking a shorter lunch rather than longer to fit with wrap around hours.

LBFseBrom · 02/12/2023 14:58

Benibidibici · 01/12/2023 17:23

I know there's not much time but if there's enough time for other children 3 and 4 times every week, why does my child deserve SO little of the teacher's attention? He is barely four years old.

It won't be anything personal, op, you may find it is the older children who are listened to more in the first term and he will get his turn later on.

However, on the face of it, it is a pity, especially as he would like it. Perhaps mention it at parents' evening.

I'm sure you read with him and have him read to you at home. We always did that - and writing - and it was good.

LoreleiG · 02/12/2023 15:11

I agree that someone should be reading with your child OP. But it is a bit pointless angrily posting about your issues with the school on the internet rather than telling the head or chair of governors about your concerns.

Original poster
Benibidibici · 02/12/2023 16:21

It sounds like the other parents know because their children's reading diaries are regularly written in by the person they read to. And OP's child's reading diary is blank except for OP's own entries.

This- the other parents had pages and pages of entries in their childrens journals from teacher/ta/parent volunteers, with 2 or 3 different booms sent each week. My sons just has what i write. The only thing written at school is the title of the one book he's given each week.

Nb i wouldn't say he's "advanced" but i figure he's doing fine - for a 4 year old! Recognising the letters, blending short words etc.

OP posts:
StopLickingTheDog · 02/12/2023 17:53

3rd attempt....

Have

You

Asked

His

Teacher?

YouAreMyCentreWhenISpinAway · 02/12/2023 18:08

A good thing to do if you are a school is to get your year 6 students ( or even older if on the same campus) to go and help the younger ones read. It benefits both.

Blahblah34 · 02/12/2023 18:09

Have you asked the school why they aren’t listening to her read? That should be your first port of call, rather than winding yourself up about it.

Mamansparkles · 02/12/2023 18:13

OP I'm a teacher and I'm appalled at some of the replies here saying 'tough, other kids need it more'.
Of course some kids will need reading with more often but every child should be heard weekly, or at the very least fortnightly.
Book a meeting with the teacher, take in the reading log and show her. I suspect it is an accident and he has been left off a list. It really isn't good enough.

TeddyBeans · 03/12/2023 08:26

BendingSpoons · 02/12/2023 12:24

My 4yo has a reading log. We write in it when he reads at home and adults write in it when he reads to them at school. It's the one thing I do know! Although of course there will be other times he reads something in front of them e.g. reads a sentence he wrote, reads a classroom sign.

Show quote history

My 5yo has a reading log too. We received a letter at the beginning of the year saying the staff wouldn't be writing in it. I don't need a log of when I read with him, I know that much. So what's the point of it? Schools vary so much, it's bonkers

YouAreMyCentreWhenISpinAway · 03/12/2023 08:56

My 5yo has a reading log too. We received a letter at the beginning of the year saying the staff wouldn't be writing in it.

Why not? This is not good enough. Isn't it important to know things like;

Dear TeddyBeans, We really want DC to move up to Orange books. Can you do a bit more reading with him over the next 2 weeks, and we will review it then.

Dear TeddyBeans, great work on the phonics. Can you go over words with "ee" with her at home please and then they can move onto the next level.

Why can't schools do this? If they are not doing this, what exactly are they doing? Are they now just child care facilities? Or, is it because they have nothing to write? Surely communicating with the parent and getting them to help you, the teacher, help the DC, is a good thing and a priority?

They seen to find the words no problem when someone has put a Kit Kat in their lunch box.

I'm so glad my DC are nearing the end of their education here. It has deteriorated rapidly.

I know I am a broken record, but if you at the beginning of all this, you really need to take charge of it yourself and just let the school do the absolute basics that they seem to be doing.

No wonder our DC are so poorly educated these days.

wafflingworrier · 04/12/2023 22:14

YouAreMyCentreWhenISpinAway · 03/12/2023 08:56

My 5yo has a reading log too. We received a letter at the beginning of the year saying the staff wouldn't be writing in it.

Why not? This is not good enough. Isn't it important to know things like;

Dear TeddyBeans, We really want DC to move up to Orange books. Can you do a bit more reading with him over the next 2 weeks, and we will review it then.

Dear TeddyBeans, great work on the phonics. Can you go over words with "ee" with her at home please and then they can move onto the next level.

Why can't schools do this? If they are not doing this, what exactly are they doing? Are they now just child care facilities? Or, is it because they have nothing to write? Surely communicating with the parent and getting them to help you, the teacher, help the DC, is a good thing and a priority?

They seen to find the words no problem when someone has put a Kit Kat in their lunch box.

I'm so glad my DC are nearing the end of their education here. It has deteriorated rapidly.

I know I am a broken record, but if you at the beginning of all this, you really need to take charge of it yourself and just let the school do the absolute basics that they seem to be doing.

No wonder our DC are so poorly educated these days.

Edited

I am a teacher, if I wrote what you suggest in each child's reading record each day after hearing them read it would take me half a day to do so as I have 30 children in my class. Those 30 children would be supervised and taught nothing during this time.
20 years ago there was a lot more time for scaffolded play in Reception and, therefore, more time to hear each child read and write in records. The curriculum has changed. The generation of children has also changed. For example, we now have to sit with children in Reception and support them eating their lunches because their parents haven't taught them how to use a knife and a fork. We now have to toilet train them. We now hve to teach them how to use tooth brushes.We now have significant daily episodes of violence from SEN children across the school because the environment is not suitable for them but there are no places available for them in our local special school. So jobs such as writing in a reading record that used to happen during lunch breaks don't happen anymore.

What exactly do you think teachers do all day?! We all work incredibly, incredibly hard. Every day. Your post is very rude. A tokenistic gesture to placate entitled parents is not and should not be the priority of a teacher. Your child is one of 30 and is therefore prioritised within the needs of the WHOLE class.

Mercury2702 · 04/12/2023 22:16

Could you make a suggestion? At my sons primary those in older years go into the classes of the younger ones and listen to them read. Apparently it’s been really beneficial to the older children as well as those younger

wafflingworrier · 04/12/2023 22:19

TeddyBeans · 03/12/2023 08:26

My 5yo has a reading log too. We received a letter at the beginning of the year saying the staff wouldn't be writing in it. I don't need a log of when I read with him, I know that much. So what's the point of it? Schools vary so much, it's bonkers

Show quote history

The point of a reading eecord is to inform the school which children do what reading at home so they can plan their limited resources accordingly.
It also informs potential SEN e.g. if I know a child is read with daily at home but isn't keeping up, there may be congitive/memory issues underlying this that I need to explore.
If a child isn't keeping up but isn't read with at home either, then I need to prioritise plugging that gap first before I can make an informed decision on that.

wafflingworrier · 04/12/2023 22:22

The point of a reading record is not to appease parents or be a cute diary where we give you a pat on the back for reading with your child.
As to comments about "read ee with x child more" we cover this in our newsletters to parents plus weekly homework, I don't see the point of repeating this again x 30, it's up to parents to read those communications to inform their daily reading with their children if they choose to.😐

TeddyBeans · 04/12/2023 22:25

wafflingworrier · 04/12/2023 22:19

The point of a reading eecord is to inform the school which children do what reading at home so they can plan their limited resources accordingly.
It also informs potential SEN e.g. if I know a child is read with daily at home but isn't keeping up, there may be congitive/memory issues underlying this that I need to explore.
If a child isn't keeping up but isn't read with at home either, then I need to prioritise plugging that gap first before I can make an informed decision on that.

Show quote history

Oh I completely understand, I used to TA in reception. But even then my teacher would write in whatever guided reading group's books she was doing that day. Getting absolutely no feedback from school is really weird imo. If I wrote in my son's record every time we read, I'd fill the book by Christmas which seems like such a waste of resources when there's absolutely nothing coming back

Boomboom22 · 04/12/2023 22:36

I am a teacher and the reception teacher knows I read at least 2 books to my 4yr old every night. I work on letter formation and phonics ad hoc. I'm not writing in the diary. In yr4 the teacher just moved him up whenever I said and she tested for my older ones. I just don't have time until he's reading proper to note this stuff down. And once he's on magic key I will abadon the book again. I feel no guilt and will agree it with the teacher, tacitly if required.

OhwhyOY · 04/12/2023 22:55

Yanbu. Speak to the teacher, it's probably an accident. If it isn't then tell them he deserves an education as much as anyone else, and whilst it's reasonable to prioritise staff/voulnteer time it's not reasonable to give some kids no time at all.

OhwhyOY · 04/12/2023 22:56

More politely than I have worded it though, of course!

Original poster
Benibidibici · 06/12/2023 13:24

The newsletters teachers send home are completely generic and list (for example)
"This week we have covered th, sh, ch".

It doesn't communicate whar you really need to know which is

  • tommy is struggling with digraphs
  • annie recognises the digraph on a card but is struggling to pick it out in a whole word
  • chris still doesnt recognise s let alone sh
  • harry knows all these sounds and more and is reading well ahead of what's covered in class
  • bobby recognise all the sounds well but hasn't got the concept of blending
  • keiras blending well/knows the sounds but hasnt got the stamina for more than 2 pages of the book

Some teachers do manage, between them & TS, to hear all kids once over 2 week period. How? There are teachers on this thread saying they do. It is possible.

Someone up thread said their used to more scaffolded play in reception and this is when it happened. There's loads now!! learning through play, its the whole point of eyfs

OP posts:
happypin · 06/12/2023 13:40

@wafflingworrier
Literally clapping at your post.
And OP ffs I'm so glad I gave up teaching and don't have to deal with parents like you.
Yes it's a bit odd your child hasn't been listened to individually but there is simply not enough time in a teachers day to listen to every single kid and give individual feedback like that. You get that schools are struggling for staff, workload is massive, class sizes are huge.
You have said your child is ahead, be grateful for that rather than being incensed he isn't being given individual attention, that's what you are for.

IgnoranceNotOk · 06/12/2023 13:59

happypin · 06/12/2023 13:40

@wafflingworrier
Literally clapping at your post.
And OP ffs I'm so glad I gave up teaching and don't have to deal with parents like you.
Yes it's a bit odd your child hasn't been listened to individually but there is simply not enough time in a teachers day to listen to every single kid and give individual feedback like that. You get that schools are struggling for staff, workload is massive, class sizes are huge.
You have said your child is ahead, be grateful for that rather than being incensed he isn't being given individual attention, that's what you are for.

I don’t know what parents think teachers do all day! Between the constant online platform they’re messaging and expecting responses back and then the repeated requests to resend the logins and then spend the day actually teaching their children… must be all those burning hot cups of tea I get through!

your child is 1 of up to 32, this has massive implications on what can be done in a day, add in an child who is not coping in mainstream school and also not getting a 1:1 so the teacher may be teaching and then managing disruption and everyone’s safety and then writing up reports of what has happened and what the next action will be as well as contacting any parents about what the incidents that day have been.

I have children, I know what the gov has done to schools. I read with my child, we play maths games, we do his homework with me teaching him how to form his letters correctly.

If you’re concerned, contact the teacher and ask what you can be working on for him. The funding in schools is so poor that if you want more for your child, you will be the one to support his education. As a parent, I see this as my responsibility anyway because I want him to succeed to the best of his ability and not just the best of 1 of 32.

I want every child in my class to succeed but wow do I need their parents’ support and for them to keep the learning going at home. Luckily, most of the parents at my school will do this and are keen to support their children.

If OP is really lucky, the teacher will end up on long term sick!

IgnoranceNotOk · 06/12/2023 14:00

happypin · 06/12/2023 13:40

@wafflingworrier
Literally clapping at your post.
And OP ffs I'm so glad I gave up teaching and don't have to deal with parents like you.
Yes it's a bit odd your child hasn't been listened to individually but there is simply not enough time in a teachers day to listen to every single kid and give individual feedback like that. You get that schools are struggling for staff, workload is massive, class sizes are huge.
You have said your child is ahead, be grateful for that rather than being incensed he isn't being given individual attention, that's what you are for.

Sorry, I realise most of this message is actually for OP not you! 🤪

happypin · 06/12/2023 14:05

@IgnoranceNotOk
😊 yeah DH is a teacher still and I feel for him.
Our DD starts school next year, she can read and I would give zero shits if they didn't listen to her read. In fact I'd point out to her how lucky she is she can read.
I'll prob get flamed by OP but unless you have been a teacher you just don't get it.
The only way I managed to listen to everyone read between me and a TA was hauling kids out of assembly and other things they want to go to. Volunteers were for the poor kids whose parents never listened to them and didn't care, not for those who felt entitled to the same amount of attention. A good teacher would make a note of that

happypin · 06/12/2023 14:06

@IgnoranceNotOk
Also I wish every parent had been like you sound with your kids!

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