At my wits end with my amateur chef OH

[justasking111]

He watches Rick stein and James Martin every day. We're supposed to alternate cooking dinner. Three times this week he's fucked up. I buy good ingredients tell him what's for dinner. He muscles in hours before me to prep.

This week he's overdone it. Partridge with vegetables he tipped in crabapple jelly. Was so sweet I couldn't eat it.

Chicken curry half a large carton of creme freiche and god knows what herbs.

Today I was doing shin of beef with vegetables in the slow cooker. He insisted on taking over. I said no potatoes because I was doing dumplings. He said I don't want dumplings.
I've just tasted it. I don't know if he's put in lots of pepper, mustard, cloves or all three. It tastes weird. OH and he's done a pan of potatoes.

He won't follow a recipe because he's learnt it all on the television.

So am I being unreasonable expecting food that I can eat? Or am I just ungrateful?

Put on an episode of the Vicar of Dibley with the awful concoctions that character used to serve up. Point out the similarities 😁

No he doesn't smoke but he says he has no sense of smell hasn't for years. I know as agreed that I cook three dinners a week. So last week I planned and bought the ingredients for three meals.

Mince etc for shepherds pie
Pork chops with veg.
Turkey leg for a casserole.

He nicked the mince curried it and served with mash.

The pork supper he cut away all the fat and some meat as a treat for the dogs

The turkey leg I slow cooked he bunged in god knows what while I wasn't looking, it tasted weird.

I did have a win last week he was out all day with mates so I did a turkey and bacon pie. With a pinch of sage, onions and bouillon. It was so good and he really enjoyed it. He did wonder why I hadn't added creme freiche though 🤣

@justasking111 - OK, so the lack of smell will probably significantly affect him, but....yeah, it sounds like he's just looked at cooking shows and thought, "Oh, that looks do-able" without copping the amount of skill and experience you need to be able to judge flavours. Not to mention that, if his smell is dulled, then he needs to actually take feedback and criticism constructively and without getting defensive, and adjust.

Perhaps suggest to him that he picks a couple of recipes and works hard on perfecting just those - that's how actual chefs do it. Make it, get the feedback, fix the bugs, make it again, get feedback, adjust etc. Encouragement might help here better than "Just. Stahp."?

I mean...my eating audience is very patient with me - I've been working on a Chinese-style black pepper dish for about 6 months now - but only because I'm very attentive to the feedback (I was actually asked for the recipe by a chef friend recently, which was kinda the ultimate compliment!).

Point is, if I'm feeding someone, the primary goal is for them to actually like it! He seems to be missing that part.

I'm sorry - but I would be inside serving a 15 year sentence if someone consistently messed around with my cooking. DP has had his fingers literally rapped for trying to spice up my cooking. If you want to cook , cook, but don't interfere with mine.

DP is one of those who doesn't follow a recipe and many's a meal that's been forced down, or I've settled for a cheese sandwich. He's now banned from using turmeric - he seems to think nothing less than a whole pot will do.

Hats off to the poster who kicked out her interferer

Turmeric devils ingredient 👿

I'm fine with him having his days cooking I can always have a jam sandwich if his food is inedible. But when he hijacks steals my ingredients and bastardises them and say well that's my turn done I do get pissed off

You already told him what you were doing with that dish, and he has overridden your ideas and taken over.

Do you know what I'd do in that situation? I'd think "Fuck this for a game of soldiers" and go and buy myself some fish & chips instead.

I thought it was tarragon for chicken and dill for fish?

I remember when my DH was going through his cooking phase. I got tuna pasta bake with Kirsch in it. Yuk.

My dad went through this phase too. Mum told him to just get a red sports car or a 19 year old girlfriend and have proper bloody midlife crisis and stop fucking around with her food. (We’re talking REALLY inedible gloop that he “crafted” with all the enthusiasm of Willy Wonka.

Chilli and mango is really nice

Im laughing here at the thought of posters seeing tarragon and fish as some sort of outlandish combination. Its not unusual at all

I sprinkle it on baked salmon all the time!

Found a nice recipe today, will do it on Wednesday because he's out for the day 🤣🤣

But tarragon is the devil's work!! On anything!

Actually I find the combination in this recipe a bit jarring and too much, and I'm normally all in favour of herbs and spices, and garlic too. I think mustard doesn't really go with those subtle herbs. Maybe I'm wrong.

I can confirm that chili mango sorbet is delicious. Also chili chocolate.

Yum!

A lesson learned for me, being the instinctive type of cook. For once I followed a recipe, to the letter, it was an Ottenlenghi and I know you dont mess with them and this looked like something I actually had ingredients for!

Jesus, its far far far too hot, had to bin the lot. Im really upset actually.

Try mashed potatoes with butter, garlic and creme freiche then. You can have mine 🙈

That sounds lovely to me !

Cooking for 4, I'd use a whole can of coconut milk ina dish, and I make for 4 most of the time even though there's only of us, because the 2 leftover portions can be used for a lunch or leftover dinner

If he has a poor sense of smell them his taste buds will be off and he's on a hiding to nothing. I'd 1) put the ingredients for the meals i was planning to make into separate bags/boxes in the fridge or cupboard with appropriate labels and tell him not to touch on pain of death; 2) tell him not to even enter the kitchen when I was cooking; 3) find a suitably severe punishment to tackle any breach of rules 1 and 2. Ultimately even if he's doing it from a nice place he's being selfish and controlling so he needs to back off. On his nights I'd have backup food for emergencies!

I like your mum’s style!

Someone on here was talking about how important it is to follow his recipe to the letter, and the difference in types of chilli. Some being sweet and flavourful, others having heat.

Well I’m not really that kind of person so I used what I had and subbed similar things and did lots of tasting as I went. Without the warning I mightn’t have noticed that three/four lots of chilli was a bit much.

Did you perhaps have the wrong kind of some of the spices?

Sorry this did make me laugh