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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be sad I'll never be a bridesmaid?

52 replies

FucksSakeSusan · 01/12/2023 14:07

For context, I'm mid-40s and if I'm honest with myself I know I'm being ridiculous.

I've been married twice and had 4 different bridesmaids. When my good friends have got married, I was never asked to be bridesmaid. Two of my close friends are still unmarried. One of them is probably never going to be. The other one most likely is but I know her plans and they don't include bridesmaids. I am fine with this by the way and think her plans are lovely.

The thing is, I have this real sadness that I've never been a bridesmaid and never will be. It feels like one of those things that every woman has done but I've missed out on.

Any tips on how I can deal with my ridiculous feelings about this??

OP posts:
Toddlerteaplease · 01/12/2023 22:12

I feel the same OP. My only chance was even my sister got married. And she decided not to have any. I was gutted.

Echobelly · 01/12/2023 22:12

I was never a bridesmaid - we just didn't have much extended family, and I don't have any friends I have that kind of relationship with who got married (I had no bridesmaids myself, just a flowergirl). It was never on my radar as I never even went to any weddings until my brothers in my early 20s.

I think PPs are right when they say to ask why you feel so strongly about this. Honestly, in my generation and younger (I'm 46) I don't think all that many women are ever BMs, it's not as though it's an experience most people have I reckon.

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