To be pissed off at people who cannot control their kids on public transport (and transport staff!)

[ValerieVomit]

Yesterday evening, in a Midlands city, on a tram.

Mother (35-ish) gets on with three kids, a girl about three, an older boy and girl, probably 10 and 11/12.

Smallest child has a tablet out with VERY LOUD tinny kiddy music (think Baby Shark annoying levels). At least she just sat and watched her video the whole journey though.

Other two spend the journey racing about, using the tram as monkey bars, having a fight, using their jackets as capes and making a racket.

Meanwhile Mum sits happily vaping. Never once told them to pack it in. I actually don't think she thought it was even a problem, like it was normal behaviour.

I called the conductor. He looked aghast at me, and said who is he to be able to tell people how to look after their kids? I told him who he was to ensure passenger safety. The kids could have had a massive accident and whose fault would it be then? Not Puffing Polly who didn't give a toss, but she would be blaming NET when Little Johnny came a cropper doing his Max Whitlock impression on the tram.

The transport staff do absolutely nothing, and my rant isn't really at them, because it appears their hands are tied. This guy said that once they stopped a tram to get some drunken guys to get off, but they were bollocked and told that they couldn't kick people off for causing trouble.

Meanwhile, Mini Max Whitlock, Mini Beth Tweddle and Little Sally Square Eyes will grow up with zero boundaries, think this is how you behave in public and have kids who perpetuate it.

Allowing for ADHD and the like AIBU to be absolutely pissed off at this? And how does it stop? Will it ever stop?

I'm pretty sure that if someone vaped on a SWR train, the British Transport police would be waiting for them at the next station.

And why are you having a go at Max Whitlock and Beth Tweddle by the way? Surely they are examples of well brought up individuals? Rather than people who were badly "parented"?

Not all kids and parents are like that but yanbu to say that behaviour is getting worse. There’s many threads on here about behaviour in schools and it’s increasingly common for both the parents and pupils to be nightmares.

I wouldn’t blame the ticket inspector for not wanting to get involved- nobody wants to be stabbed or posted on social media.

I clicked because there were ages when I struggled with kids on social media. I remember my kids at preschool age often wanting to stand or would moan and whinge if it was busy but there was nothing that I could do. I know that the sound from the tablet is the point that you’re making but a many preschooler is shit for parents but even worse for the other passengers.

My foot may have strayed into the aisle if kids of that age kept running up and down and the parent wasn’t willing to put a stop to it. There is a time and a place for excitement and in a tram is neither of those.
Too many people these days making excuses for their lack of parenting skills. The same ones will be back in a few years complaining they get no respect and can’t control their teenager’s bad behaviour.

Nothing goady at all, that word, goady, is just a way to try and close down any discussion. The 'mother' was failing totally and her sprogs were behaving appallingly, hopefully if/when they fall and hurt themselves another passenger gives their name to the driver for when she tries to make money off her failure. Love MN for its defence of poor standards.

The mother was irresponsible. She didn’t even try to parent. The older kids could have hurt themselves or others. I never let my kids swing round the poles on tube carriages, even when the carriages were pretty empty. It’s annoying for others and potentially unsafe.

Those kids will end up as the ones nobody wants to invite to stuff as they have no clue about social norms.

ETA I don’t blame the staff one bit. They are powerless and vulnerable and have no responsibility to stop shit parents being shit.

This.

I wasn't. You obviously don't get the analogy. The kids were doing gymnastics.

@JudgeJ Oh yes, "goady". Like #BeKind. It just means Shut Up. Doesn't work.

I once endured an hour long journey with a four year old, I assume, allowed to screech (never meant this more literally - imagine the loudest scream you could do) Let It Go. They sat there looking gormless and occasionally smirking at her.

Honestly this is why I've withdrawn more and more from society. I can't be doing with people and their complete lack of appropriate public behaviour.

Puffing Polly what on earth 😂 it is awful to vape on a train, other than that as long as it isn't the quiet coach and you aren't being harassed or hurt then kids running about being annoying isn't that bad. It's public transport and if they aren't being told off then that's that, it's a shame but the conductor has worse things to tackle. Besides, she sounds like she wouldn't exactly be receptive to criticism.
But your little nicknames are just awful, very judgemental.

The mother sounds appalling and the Transport Guy sounds as wet as they come.

Why didn't he even stop the vaping?

You got unlucky there OP. I bet someone else would have said something. Apart from anything it was dangerous. What a drip.

Mum obviously doesn't give a f*. Poor kids.

Teacher here.
Over the past 5-10 years I have seen a RAPID decline in children’s behaviour and it’s evident why when you meet the parents.
Why would the children behave when their own mother is demonstrating poor behaviour by vaping on a tram and not teaching them right from wrong? No hope for the future.
It’s the sense of entitlement nowadays when people think rules don’t apply to them. They can’t be bothered to parent and teach children right from wrong and then can’t understand why their little darling is going off the rails so push for a SEND diagnosis in the hope it will allow them an excuse for poor behaviour!

But your little nicknames are just awful, very judgemental

Dear god, you don't care about people vaping where they're not meant to ( cos other people breathing ) kids haring about ( never mind danger ) and the volume of kids programme up loud ( 😵‍💫 )

But you're complaining about " Puffing Polly"!

Don't make everyone laugh.

NET are Nottingham trams. They haven't had conductors in years. Also don't have handrails that are at all monkey-bar potential (you could get into some pole dancing in the door opening areas but nothing to swing off).
Make of that fact what you will.

Oh and Transport Guy was Totally Wet Tony.

I was waiting at a bus stop 2 nights ago, Mum turned up with 3 children (possibly 12 7 and 5), it was -4 not one of the children had a hat or gloves on, the boy didn't have a coat, the little girl had a coat on over her school blouse and pinafore but the coat was undone, 12 year old had a hoodie on, mum had hat gloves and a Canada goose parka, (no bag with her so the kids hats and gloves weren't in there) The boy (7) straight away knocked a magazine onto the ground that had been left on a seat, mum sat there drinking a hot drink, never told him to pick it up, he then drop kicked his own cup, again not a word said. Bus arrived and the children started fighting over the seats at the front , mum walked away and sat halfway down the bus without saying a word. 12 year old sat on her own in front of her mum, looking fed up. Child at the front was kneeling on the seat looking over the back towards her mum , bus went round a corner and little one slipped off the seat mum never moved but sent the older child to pick the crying 5 year old up. Little boy spent the journey swinging around a pole. All the way through the 20 minute journey mum stuck her head in her phone, obviously unwilling to parent.

Same. Drives me insane. YANBU at all, OP.

I was on a coach , over 10 hours , a woman was vaping .
Driver told her
Passengers told her
But as we were on the motorway they couldn't put her off , (we were held up in traffic jam) By the time we got to a Service station she was asleep so I suppose they thought let sleeping dogs lie

I'll also raise you children on scooters in shops and supermarkets

Calling someone by the names of Olympic medallists isn't judgemental. They were mucking about doing gymnastics. If I'd called them feral little scrotes, then I'd agree with you, but I wasn't. And your assertion that it's not that bad for them to run about - they weren't infants, one was almost a teen - is just ridiculous.

I still don't get why you didn't just move or get the next tram to be honest.

I guess you are having a go at calling me out as Jackanory. I'm not that local to the area and I have since been informed that it was a ticket inspector, not a conductor. I bought my ticket on the platform.

There are indeed bars across the top of the tram that I was on.

That do you?

I honestly hate this whole "maybe they're autistic" thing.

I'm autistic, and most autistic people are hyper aware of their surroundings and of being different, and work like crazy to try to 'fit in', for example observing others and trying to copy what they do, out of awareness that you don't really fit in.

Obviously there's stuff you can't control, like meltdowns, or sensory overwhelment.

But someone casually kicking back playing a video game with the sound on, not upset or having a meltdown, that's just not something most autistic people would do. It's just pure selfishness.

I was guessing that you don’t take the trams regularly in Notts 😂 my money is on a journey from Phoenix Park? I used the ride the tram a lot, on multiple lines, and trams from the city centre in that direction were always the most interesting.
It’s really not unusual what you’ve seen. Or the reaction from the inspector. When there were conductors, the trams felt so much safer and they took a lot more ownership of the space.
it’s just people, OP. People are different. Takes all sorts.