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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not put a Christmas tree up?

56 replies

Scrogge · 01/12/2023 09:35

We have a 15 month old who inevitably will just destroy it daily, and a 15 year old who couldn't care less about a Christmas tree 😅🙈

AIBU to not put a tree up this year?

We will be away from from from the 22nd until 26th December anyway and me and DP are so busy with work and general family life and I honestly just CBA.

I am thinking it may be just as lovely to put the stair and mantle garlands up and some twinkly bits and just leave the tree until next year when the toddler will be older.

OP posts:
BMW6 · 01/12/2023 09:37

The only tree I put out is around 8" tall and goes on the mantlepiece.

Whatever suits you, that's what you do!

Pinkpinkpink15 · 01/12/2023 09:40

Your life, your house, your choice.

id put it up though because I'd love seeing DS2's reaction to it. You have to teach them 'no' its an opportunity for an intensive course in it 😂

DS1 will enjoy iy, even if he pretends not to!

& I love the lights!!

but you do you 🎄

Topseyt123 · 01/12/2023 09:40

I wouldn't put up the tree if I didn't have to (our DDs are in their twenties now and would never forgive me).

This year I have bought a tall fibre optic one that you just slot together and plug in with no messy decorations or baubles, so we'll compromise on that, I hope.

Leave the tree in the loft.

Cattiwampus · 01/12/2023 09:40

The best way to avoid Christmas stress is to design your own way of doing things over the years, and it evolves with your family and changing circumstances. Do whatever you feel like every Christmas, keep the parts that work and ditch or archive the parts that don’t.

Hbh17 · 01/12/2023 09:42

Brilliant idea, OP! You are not at home for Christmas, so why would you have a tree when you're not actually there?!

MeridaofClanDunBroch · 01/12/2023 09:42

Cattiwampus · 01/12/2023 09:40

The best way to avoid Christmas stress is to design your own way of doing things over the years, and it evolves with your family and changing circumstances. Do whatever you feel like every Christmas, keep the parts that work and ditch or archive the parts that don’t.

Exactly what I was going to say but much more eloquent.

Original poster
Scrogge · 01/12/2023 09:45

Thank you all so much. I already feel MUCH better about the decision for this year ❤

OP posts:
talkingtoelise · 01/12/2023 10:21

We have a 20month old, the tree is falling apart, the tinsel is already hanging off, I haven’t even bothered to put the baubles on yet and she has her hump all day when I don’t turn the lights on. If I wasn’t so festive I wouldn’t have the tree up at all, and I certainly wouldn’t if I wasn’t at home for Christmas. In fact I’m considering taking it down and putting it back up on the 24th. Screw the Christmas tree, or get yourself one of those little desk trees and shove it on the mantelpiece if you want a little extra Christmas spirit🤣

Original poster
Scrogge · 01/12/2023 11:13

@talkingtoelise you have just convinced me to leave it in the loft 🤣

OP posts:
Abbyant · 02/12/2023 22:43

My ds is 21 months and after a little play with when it first went up he’s not bothered since the toy train underneath however hasn’t been on the track for more then 30 secs since I set it up, but if you’re not even going to be there for Christmas anyway I wouldn’t bother especially if the eldest doesn’t care.

Drlate · 02/12/2023 23:13

We’re also away for a week over Christmas so doesn’t make sense to put one up imo especially since we buy a real one every year, just feels like a waste! I’ve still put the fireplace decor up and hung some fairy lights up inside and outside so there’s a festive feel, just no tree.

ComtesseDeSpair · 02/12/2023 23:22

I suspect your 15-year-old cares more about this sort of stuff than they let on because obviously it’s deeply uncool to show you’re excited about Christmas and like helping to decorate the tree etc. We have a table top potted tree about a foot and a half tall, which looks really cheery all decorated and lit up.

Fionaville · 02/12/2023 23:24

You don't have to put a tree up.
None of my kids ever messed with the tree though.

mondaytosunday · 02/12/2023 23:29

I never had a problem with my trees and the kids. I did have the kittens knock it over once!
Do whatever you like. We are away for two weeks but are still having a tree - not our normal 8ft one but a more modest 4-5ft that will fit in the front room (normally it's in the open plan kitchen/diner). I've put up some fairy lights already and made the wreath Friday. We'll get a tree tomorrow. My kids are 18 and 20 and would never forgive me if we didn't have a tree!

mezlou84 · 02/12/2023 23:34

Try a little tree for your toddler to decorate and undecorate, you can get small table ones or 3ft ones quite cheap. Try local free sites you may be able to even get one free. We have our tree up from 12 December to beginning of Feb. People put theirs up October and November but we prefer a happy jolly January, when it's coldest and have to stay in alot more. I've never had much trouble keeping my 3 away from the tree. My youngest is 21mths so we shall see how long it takes him to learn not to touch 😂 lots of fun helping them manage their impulses (autistic) but we get there and when my other 2 were that age they soon left it alone playing with other things away from the tree makes the tree boring to touch. You'll be surprised how much the 15yr old is into Christmas secretly my eldest is 15 😁 and he can't wait til we put up the 'rubbish decorations' and 'stupid tree'. He asks all the time when we are doing it and insists on doing the tinsel every year x

DottyLottieLou · 03/12/2023 02:08

I always think not having a tree up advertises the fact that you aren't there.

Luckyduc · 03/12/2023 07:17

Personally I'd put it up cause I'd want to see my child's reaction and to get photos of a christmas when they are young. For all you know you could be dead by next Christmas or even your child and altho that might sound really negative, it's a thought I keep close to my mind enough that makes me love for them moment and make the effort even when I can't be bothered. I try to create as many memories as possible.
Maybe put the tree up and just lights even. Still looks lovely even if you don't decorate it.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 03/12/2023 07:21

We rearranged the living room last month and now our tree doesn't fit. No money for a new one. We're dragging a potted pine tree to the windows and stringing some lights round it, then popping up a few other decorations. We have a 2yr old. They'll love it just as much (already running around with one of the decorations we missed when we were putting things away!)

notahappybunny7 · 03/12/2023 07:57

Utterly miserable for your kids just put a tree up!

user1468948689 · 03/12/2023 08:06

15 month old not 15 year old

WillowTit · 03/12/2023 08:44

how do you know the 15 month old will destroy it?
that never happened in my house

put it up nearer to the time

julesover40 · 03/12/2023 08:57

I agree the 15 yo will probably care more than they let on.
Get a small tree, so what if your toddler plays with it, it's part of the fun x

PineapplePomPom · 03/12/2023 09:21

How about some twinkling window lights or a candle bridge on the window ledge? Baby can't reach these but will still be excited by them. 15yo cares more than he's letting on, as another poster said, he's just being 'too cool for school' 🤣 My DS pesters me every year (usually at the beginning of November) to put the tree up and he's nearly 22! 😃

Silverstoat · 03/12/2023 09:35

If you don't, prepare for your 15 year old to tell everyone how "we didn't even have a Christmas tree when I was going up" because you decided not to do it for just one year.

Ploctopus · 03/12/2023 09:37

Christmas traditions should only be kept up if they bring you joy. Lots of people will say ‘oh just do it!’ Because having a tree is really important to them and they can’t imagine not doing it, but if that isn’t how you feel you should leave it this year and give yourself more time and space for something that is meaningful and enjoyable to you

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