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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not put a Christmas tree up?

56 replies

Scrogge · 01/12/2023 09:35

We have a 15 month old who inevitably will just destroy it daily, and a 15 year old who couldn't care less about a Christmas tree 😅🙈

AIBU to not put a tree up this year?

We will be away from from from the 22nd until 26th December anyway and me and DP are so busy with work and general family life and I honestly just CBA.

I am thinking it may be just as lovely to put the stair and mantle garlands up and some twinkly bits and just leave the tree until next year when the toddler will be older.

OP posts:
Janieforever · 03/12/2023 09:38

I also think your older child cares more than they are letting yoh know. Personally I think it’s quite sad for kids not to have a tree. Most folks with children that age have one, very few destroy it.

biter · 03/12/2023 09:38

Sorry but I don't understand the 1 year old destroying a tree. Just say 'no don't touch it'?

We were a childminding house and in all the many years of having lovely happy, excited littlies in the house did the tree ever get messed with. They were allowed to look and admire, and in their last day choose a chocolate.

Really, just say no to touching, and have a lovely tree.

Janieforever · 03/12/2023 09:39

Ploctopus · 03/12/2023 09:37

Christmas traditions should only be kept up if they bring you joy. Lots of people will say ‘oh just do it!’ Because having a tree is really important to them and they can’t imagine not doing it, but if that isn’t how you feel you should leave it this year and give yourself more time and space for something that is meaningful and enjoyable to you

Why is it about her, what about her family?

whereaw · 03/12/2023 09:42

I felt sad as an adult when I went home to my parents and my mum decided she wasn't doing a tree anymore! So I'm not sure a 15 year old really couldn't care less, 15 year olds tend to say that they don't give a crap, but that's not always the truth of it!

keye · 03/12/2023 09:55

We will be away from from from the 22nd until 26th December anyway

Where are you going?

If you are to be spending time with anyone who has a Christmas tree I would suggest installing one on your house pretty rapid so you can get your baby used to it and the fact that they don't go near it.

reelcat · 03/12/2023 09:58

The 15 year old may pretend not to care but I bet they would be massively disappointed if you didn't!

ellie09 · 03/12/2023 09:59

I have a 6 year old and havent really bothered with a tree except for the last 2 years where he has specifically asked for one. This will be the 3rd year its up.

Before then, I just didnt see the point as I dont host Christmas and nobody is ever around.

I dont put up anything else though - just the tree. My dog would go mad pulling it all off and ripping it up.

user1471538283 · 03/12/2023 10:02

You don't have to have a tree! We didn't have one last year. Just sparkly lights over the french doors, candles and a metal modern Christmas tree ornament. All up in half an hour! What a relief!

I do love a tree but I've spent decades wrestling with trees. I've got a minimalist one this year that I may put up.

I think like many I'm just exhausted.

keye · 03/12/2023 10:03

reelcat · 03/12/2023 09:58

The 15 year old may pretend not to care but I bet they would be massively disappointed if you didn't!

It could be quite embarrassing among peers actually. Lots of them are social media users who will be posting their Christmas decs etc. Even in general chat tbh, imagine having to say you don't have a tree Sad

It's really miserable for the teen

ActDottie · 03/12/2023 10:13

We aren’t doing a tree this year. We aren’t hosting so aren’t bothering and we have a baby due which could come around Christmas and I just see it as another faffy thing to do when we have baby to prepare for. I think it’s fine to not put a tree up and as you’re away for Christmas itself you’ll still get that Christmassy feel etc.

Circularargument · 03/12/2023 10:23

DottyLottieLou · 03/12/2023 02:08

I always think not having a tree up advertises the fact that you aren't there.

Any burglars would get a nasty surprise at our place then.

Honestly daft reason to have a tree if you don't want one

Circularargument · 03/12/2023 10:26

keye · 03/12/2023 10:03

It could be quite embarrassing among peers actually. Lots of them are social media users who will be posting their Christmas decs etc. Even in general chat tbh, imagine having to say you don't have a tree Sad

It's really miserable for the teen

Show quote history

Because god forbid anyone have anything different ?
No wonder teen mental health is so shit if we cave in to every fashion out of terror at being out of lock step.

Scousefab · 03/12/2023 10:26

I’m living in a house which needs a lot of plastering. I’ve just got a small fibre optic one and putting on a high table. Yep people put pressure on others re the perfect tree etc in reality things don’t work out like that. Do whatever makes you happy and is easier x

TwoShades1 · 03/12/2023 10:28

I’m these circumstances I would get a small fake tree with some non breakable decorations. I don’t think I could do no tree/decorations at all!

keye · 03/12/2023 10:44

@Circularargument

Because god forbid anyone have anything different ?
No wonder teen mental health is so shit if we cave in to every fashion out of terror at being out of lock step.

It can be horrendously embarrassing as a teen not to have the 'usual' things. I'm not talking branded clothes it's a bloody Christmas tree that OP can't be arsed with. How utterly miserable for the teenager.

startquitting · 03/12/2023 10:55

ComtesseDeSpair · 02/12/2023 23:22

I suspect your 15-year-old cares more about this sort of stuff than they let on because obviously it’s deeply uncool to show you’re excited about Christmas and like helping to decorate the tree etc. We have a table top potted tree about a foot and a half tall, which looks really cheery all decorated and lit up.

100% this

CirreltheSquirrel · 03/12/2023 10:58

We're not having one this year. We're away for Christmas and also the weekend before, so it doesn't seem worth it. I have got lights up round the living room though as we already had those.

notahappybunny7 · 03/12/2023 11:12

Ploctopus · 03/12/2023 09:37

Christmas traditions should only be kept up if they bring you joy. Lots of people will say ‘oh just do it!’ Because having a tree is really important to them and they can’t imagine not doing it, but if that isn’t how you feel you should leave it this year and give yourself more time and space for something that is meaningful and enjoyable to you

Or instead of thinking about yourself, do something festive for your kids?

DRS1970 · 03/12/2023 11:19

We had a discussion about decorations yesterday. We are both minded that we can't be bothered with the fuss of putting them up and taking them down, and have nobody visiting for Christmas this year, so we agreed not to do decorations this year.

WillowTit · 03/12/2023 11:27

dm does a twig, has been for years, bang on trend it turns out,
with a few baubles,
looks lovely

MerryMidwinter · 03/12/2023 11:36

I don’t think we are, it’s been a rubbish year - I lost my dad and my partner has just come out of hospital - and I just can’t be bothered. DD is older but not fussed either, we’ve got fairy lights and candles and Xmas cushions and there’ll be plenty of nice food and drinks. Why create more stress if it doesn’t make you happy?

1836laura · 03/12/2023 11:40

I have a newborn, a toddler, a teenager and am also not around over Christmas so there’s no way I could be doing with the faff of acquiring and decorating a real tree. I wouldn’t be without one though as is it wouldn’t feel Christmassy. We have a lovely artificial tree that’s pre-lit and comes in very few parts so it can be put up in 10 mins. I pop a star on the top and leave it naked and it looks lovely. Maybe something like this could be a good option for you too?

daffodilandtulip · 03/12/2023 11:43

You'll feel the post Christmas blues even more if you get back on 26th to nothing.

And agree that teens care, even though they pretend not to. I have a house full of toddlers on a daily basis and they just don't touch the trees.

Doone22 · 03/12/2023 11:56

Buy mini one and put up all the decorations out of reach. Get your teen her own mini one for her room as well

DemelzaandRoss · 03/12/2023 12:02

YABU.

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