Do you have adult children? Can I ask a quick question?

[Naptrappedmummy]

Were childhood illnesses always this bad? It seems the norm now among parents I know for children to be unwell every other week (and I’m not exaggerating) until they reach school age at least. I don’t just mean snotty noses but also things that regularly require antibiotics, hospital admissions for oxygen and so on. A lot of newborns seem to be hospitalised with RSV at the moment.

My DD was unwell for about 2 years after starting nursery to the point I spent many nights sobbing, broken by the lack of sleep and inability to keep up with my job. I very nearly had to hand in my notice.

My mother in law is of the view there must be something wrong because while her children got sick, it was never as bad or frequent as this. The doctors just tell me it’s normal for children now.

YABU = yes my children were always this unwell this frequently, it’s normal
YANBU = they were unwell at times but not to this extent, it’s worse than it used to be

three grown up children and yes they got the normal children things like chicken pox, measles etc and colds and coughs but they werent always at a&e on antibiotics every five minutes they were just normal bugs that kids got

My ds is 24 now, and was on about 8 courses of antibiotics before his 1st birthday.

Admitted numerous times, just one of those kids who picked up everthing going.

My dd however, didn't get chicken pox, mumps, measles or any of the childhood diseases, not even passed on from her brother.

So I am not sure it's worse now than it was years ago.

Antibiotics a handful of times, ER once or twice. Lots of colds plus CP but nothing out of the ordinary.

I'd assume lockdowns meant immune systems remained immature hence propensity to catch everything now.

one January i could hardly go to work,
chicken pox
conjunctivitis
and something else i cant remember!
there was a cut back on antibiotics one year and dd had to be admitted with a query over pneumonia
after a weekend on the ward she was eventually prescribed antibiotics

Mine were lucky in that they didn't get too much. One (of 3) was admitted to hospital with breathing difficulties once, he also had swine flu. Other than that each had one or two (if that) courses of antibiotics. They are mid twenties now. Two had norovirus once. Of course they had colds but nothing too drastic.

My oldest never got sick, didn't catch anything other than chickenpox, and he had croup when he was 10. That was the last time he went to the doctors until he was 25 and had covid.

His brother on the other hand! In and out of hospital with spiking temps, rashes, every illness going around, rsv, non specific viral. Someone only needed to sneeze in his direction and he was ill for a week. He started growing out of it aged 7 but never managed a full attendance yr in school. He's now 21 and pretty fit and healthy but he still catches way more than anyone else in the family and then suffers more too.

I have a 20 year old and a 7 year old. My Facebook memories suggest we struggled as much then juggling poorly kids as now, but I don’t remember. That part is all a boring blur.

Mine are 26/29/31.

Weren’t sick all that often. The odd cold and norovirus a couple of times.

They were most likely to have sore throats. That was where we seemed to need abx the most, and that wasn’t until a bit older.

I was a SAHM so they weren’t exposed to a lot of stuff until they started preschool around 3.5/4 years old.

my eldest was less poorly but i guess he went to school and passed the bugs down the family

as soon as they start mixing, nursery and whatnot, childminder, the picked things up
but had narrow tubes, so sore throat, painful ear following a cold

Mine are in their 30s - both got colds many times but rarely to the point of needing antibiotics. DD needed hospital once, when she got a nasty cut needing surgery to repair it, but never needed to go there for an illness.

vaccines do what?

It might simply be a case of individual differences. Some kids have always had better immune systems than others.

My dd is an adult now but she was always quite hardy, and apart from mild coughs and colds, she didn't get sick much. However, some of her little friends got sick much more often. Maybe your MIL just had the type of kids who managed to fight stuff off.

Of course, it's possible that lockdowns etc have also had a negative impact on the immune systems of young children. I assume that someone somewhere is probably researching this.

We have DS in his early 20's - I think he was lucky? Has had antibiotics once in his life (ear infection) sorted by GP. Coughs and colds semi regular but not ill enough to miss school many times. Used to get migraines up to the age of 10- he would be sick and then right as rain- caused by tiredness.
He also had chicken pox when he was I think around 5- was in year 1 but was just off it a couple of days with only a few spots and tight as rain a week later.
We only went to A&E once when he had appendicitis aged 7 or 8 .
That said I have friends with kids the same age as mine and they had much more like your experience even 20+ years ago so I don't think you can generalise it really - some kids are sick more than others and it has always been like that.

I have two adult children and one 13-year-old. My eldest was sick all the time. We always just considered him what my grandfather would call "puny." He catches everything going. The other two are not like that at all.

Mine are all older now, but they had the usual coughs and colds etc, but no hospital admissions and rarely antibiotics. I can’t help but wonder if it’s anything to do with the fact they were outside a lot, we weren’t a knowledgeable about germs etc, We didn’t antibac everything and every surface. We seem to be over cleansed now. Not allowing natural immunity to general bugs and viruses.

I don't think much has changed to be honest.

My birth children are now in their 30s, they had regular admissions with asthma. DS was admitted once with pneumonia and then had several admissions with normal childhood illnesses as he developed adrenal insufficiency. DD had lots of admissions for asthma and was also blue lighted in with chicken pox and spent several days in hospital very sick with it.

My foster children now and only two of them have had admissions, one after a reaction to his 12 month vaccines and one with sepsis.

@RossPoldarksWife i do wonder. MIL’s theory is that it’s due to super spreaders like nursery and soft play, which far less children attended or attended as regularly when hers were little.

yes, agree with nursery, and it affects you if you can't go to work so may notice more?

I don’t think what you’re describing is the norm, no. My dc are school age now but rarely miss time due to illness (maybe a few days a year). My youngest was 2 during the first lockdown so was one of the ones who missed out a bit on childhood illnesses. He’s had 1 night ever in hospital for observation because of a febrile seizure (this was pre-COVID). He was fine within a few hours but they kept him in til the morning. And then last summer he got Lyme’s disease, but obviously that’s a bit different. I only know one person who’s dc has ever been in hospital with an infection (with norovirus). We definitely had lots of illness when I was a child though. I was always out with strep throat or a vomiting bug and I had chicken pox (confirmed by GP and paeds) 4 times. 🙈

how old is your MIL ? @Naptrappedmummy

@Marshtit early 70s

One of my kids has been quite ill with RSV but like, proper ill, on a ventilator. I promise i didn't just overreact. Been admitted to hospital a few times but other stuff, surgeries to do with a specific health condition that DH sibling also had 35 years ago and had same surgery for.

I think probably more antibiotics are given for ear and chest infections than were back then, but then back then you could give stuff like medised which just knocked kids out so at least they slept. The sleep probably helped them recover.

Eldest had chicken pox, it wasn't really a big deal.

Apart from that mine are alright. They barely ever miss school unless they vom.

When I was a child hardly any DC went in to
childcare, so when they started mingling at school they were older and probably stronger.

Antibiotic resistance plays a part too- some
of the bugs are more virulent.

DD has asthma (probably), she is a Covid era baby (born late 2019) and had very little immunity. She has been horrendously ill at nursery and so have my DH and I. I genuinely have not been this ill since infants. I’m on my 8th nasty virus this year and it’s ruined my MH.