Do you have adult children? Can I ask a quick question?

[Naptrappedmummy]

Were childhood illnesses always this bad? It seems the norm now among parents I know for children to be unwell every other week (and I’m not exaggerating) until they reach school age at least. I don’t just mean snotty noses but also things that regularly require antibiotics, hospital admissions for oxygen and so on. A lot of newborns seem to be hospitalised with RSV at the moment.

My DD was unwell for about 2 years after starting nursery to the point I spent many nights sobbing, broken by the lack of sleep and inability to keep up with my job. I very nearly had to hand in my notice.

My mother in law is of the view there must be something wrong because while her children got sick, it was never as bad or frequent as this. The doctors just tell me it’s normal for children now.

YABU = yes my children were always this unwell this frequently, it’s normal
YANBU = they were unwell at times but not to this extent, it’s worse than it used to be

Both my ds's were never ill, had chicken pox pre nursery, a bit of conjunctivitis at nursery. No illness at school, no D&V ever, only about 2 days off in the whole if schooling, primary and secondary. No colds really, or very minor ones. Dh and I are never ill either, 3 days off in10 years, apart from 1 operation. It's just luck.

DS had us charging to the ER several time. Couple of admissions. More antibiotics than I care to remember. It was like trying to force meds into the love child of a furious boa constrictor and a particularly snappy crocodile.

He is now a super sporty adult, who gets off lightly with most bugs.

But keeping up with the tradition of his early childhood, still shares them with me and my less well honed immune system.

I have two adult children in their late 20s. I had never heard of norovirus until younger colleagues started to mention it when mine were well into secondary school or later. Mine were very rarely ill - good thing really as we both worked full time and had no family childcare options. Employers were not particularly sympathetic in those days and we couldn't just take time off to look after sick children.

Maybe they started childcare later.

My eldest is 15 and he didn't get ill anywhere near as often as my younger two get ill. Though they have never been in hospital or had antibiotics, DS1 did have antibiotics once or twice (I forget now!)

I do remember a stage where he seemed to have a constantly runny nose but he didn't have loads of time off ill like my younger two did.

But DS1 was only at a childminder from ages 2-3, whereas DS2 and 3 have been at full time nursery from 2yo (DS3 from about 18 months). Also it seems to have calmed down a bit this year compared to the last 2 winters.

I was permanently unwell as a child. I had every childhood illness (my mum wouldn’t let us be vaccinated) and constant colds. As an adult I have several long term chronic illnesses (diagnosed as an adult), including autoimmune illnesses.

My ds was rarely ill until he started kindergarten then we had about 6 months of colds. He is now 23 and apart from being lactose intolerant is very healthy and only hospital admissions have been for sports injuries.
Not suggesting being lactose intolerant means you are not healthy, but he was unwell while this was being diagnosed.

Actually that reminds me, I remember my cousin being constantly bunged up as a child (to the point I remember her childhood voice with all ms and ns as bs and ds) and her mother complaining about taking time off work. She found out as an adult she was coeliac.

My dc were hardy ever poorly, colds but not sick very often. No allergies either or fussy eaters and all bottle fed, guess I was very lucky on that front.

I had mine in the late '80s, and they were rarely ill. One was slightly prone to ear infections, but otherwise, apart from colds, I don't remember them being ill much. They didn't mix with large numbers of children until they went to playgroup at just under three, though. It didn't ramp up illness frequency, as far as I remember.

One of my kids had full attendance at school for the first three years. And it wasn't because I sent her in ill. The other might have had an odd day off a year.

I hadn't given this much notice until I read the OP. I'm very aware though, that both my grandchildren (under four) seem to be ill a lot. But they both started nursery at 12/15 months old.

My oldest was seldom ill and rarely off nursery or school. Her little sister seemed to be always ill and it always became serious, hospital admissions We called her the sickly Victorian child as she always seems to get retro illnesses really badly. This has continued into adulthood and she still gets everything worse than anyone else, poor lamb. Funnily enough - she is a nurse, must be all that experience of hospitals.

DD (27) had a lot of ear infections while teething. Went to full time nursery from 7 months. Rarely ill enough to be off. I worked with someone whose child was always off, to the point she resigned and became a SAHM to avoid it. I think it’s individuals, not a whole generation thing.
I also hadn’t heard of norovirus until into the 2000s

Dd21 had to fill in a medical form in order to do bio lab work at uni. She rang me to ask if she was allergic to penicillin... I told her we wouldn't know, she'd never had it.

Dd23 had antibiotics for an infected ingrown tonail once.

We have been lucky. A few minor colds, chickenpox, no stomach trouble (unless being hungover as an "adult" counts.).

They both have had more illness since going to uni - "freshers flu" every year and this year a case of real bedridden actual flu.

Just clicked off the thread and instantly saw another one just posted by another mum at her wits end with the illnesses

YABU

Mine got the odd cold, or a mild version of something nasty going around, but nothing more. Perhaps off once a year at school.

IMO a lot of it has to do with immunity.

Some DC have good immune systems, some don’t. I do think you can influence your DC’s immune system positively through nutrition and good rest.

Mine are 1980’s babies. One was asthmatic but never admitted to hospital. Never heard of norovirus or rsv - they were just called “ a cold” or “ sick bug”. Chicken pox and mumps were fairly straightforward and it was easy to get children seen at the surgery or by a health visitor if you thought they might need medicine.
Quite a few trips to a and E with minor sports injuries.
My grandchildren get lots of colds and their parents take them far more seriously than I did - but I don’t know if they are stronger strains of not.

I don’t have adult children - mine are 7 and 4. But we are struggling with illness so much! And they pass them on to us.

I’ve found it’s worse in the autumn and early winter.

This October and November have been a write off. We all sequentially had a very bad cold in October so it ended up three weeks of being unable to do much. The kids also had threadworm 🤢

November - we’ve all had a respiratory infection. I’ve had a bad cough for three weeks now and it’s so draining! And then last week DD caught norovirus. Which of course has passed through the whole family, one after the other.

We like to be outdoors and it’s really getting me down that we’ve been unable to take advantage of the dry, sunny weather to get out for some autumn walks. We’ve not taken the kids swimming in weeks and have had to cancel both a date night and a night out. I almost fully WFH, so haven’t missed too much work (my manager allows me to WFH around sick kids so I just juggle the work around them rather than taking the day off) but have still had two sick days the past fortnight and DH has now been off work for a week as is so drained after his bout of norovirus. DS has had about 4-5 days off sick at school this autumn and similar for DD from nursery.

To cap it all the kids have just gotten headlice and now need combed daily!!

Last autumn, at any given time at least one of us was ill the entire time from Sept to early Dec. A mix of respiratory infections, sickness bugs, hand foot & mouth, the year before was chicken pox and croup.

I’m sure it’s probably normal but a bit exacerbated by lockdowns messing with young kids’ exposure to illnesses, so they’re now getting them all at once?!

I’m really hoping it calms down from now as last year we then didn’t catch anything for ages from early Dec onwards. It was like we’d got a whole year’s worth of sickness in one go!

My kids went to nursery when they were 2 fur three days a week as I got a part time job.

I lost the job because I was off so much with their illnesses. They were twins. One would get d and v and then the other. The final straw was when one had chicken pox for two weeks and then the other got it just as the first one was ok to go back to nursery.

I gave up trying to work and studied an OU degree to retrain so I could change career for when they started school.

Kids vary, one of mine suffered badly with chest infections and the first couple of years were hard, the others were generally fine just the usually snotty noses. My 3 GC who are primary school age don't seem to get ill very often.

19 yr old had antibiotics once in his whole life, never went to A&E!

Youngest has had antibiotics twice he's 11, tonsillitis and Strep A, never been to A&E either.

I do have friends with much younger children who are constantly going to A&E for the most stupid pointless reasons, a GP or even common sense would've solved!

I also think it’s harder now because in most families the adults are both working - I was mainly at home when mine were in the peak catching everything phase so it wasn’t a problem if they were off school/nursery etc

Oh, and just to add to the data -

Me, 1970s baby, constantly ill, many many ear infections and antibiotics and an operation when I was 6 to remove them. I got every cold and virus going and was frequently off school.

As an adult I am diagnosed with three auto-immune disorders (but no treatment, natch)

Chicken pox, German measles, mumps, croup, coughs, colds, vomiting bugs. Trips to A&E when DS pulled an empty cupboard onto himself and when DD fell off a bar stool and cracked her head.

My DS is early 20s and has rarely been ill .. he went to nursery/play school from 2 but never seemed to pick anything up ... everyone used to say 'He'll get so many bugs from nursery' ... but he just didn't. I think it's just luck & good genes .. my DH has just retired & never had a day's sick leave in all his working life. I am the same ... never had a days sick leave in the last seven years of my working life. The last sick day I had (about 20 years ago) I actually faked it to get a day off .

On the personal side, she may just be looking back with rose-tinted glasses, or she may have had healthy children.

At a national level, statistically more kids died or were permanently harmed by illnesses in the past - she is wrong that people are sicker in recent years (other than COVID of course).

Meant to add. My DS didn’t go to nursery til 3, and then only mornings, and DD didn’t start nursery til 2 (nearly 8 and nearly 5 now). And obviously were in lockdowns aged 4-5 and 1-2. So maybe we are getting this wave of illness now because they weren’t exposed to much when younger?

Hoping it’s something which will at some point end and this isn’t our lives for years and years! It’s bad enough them being ill but awful mustering up the energy for caring for them when you then catch it yourself.