Dear Sirs

[Dearsirs2024]

Name changed for this but regular poster.

Currently in the process of selling my house and buying a different one. Both myself and my solicitor are female and both have feminine names. My buyer’s solicitor addresses every single email that we are sent or copied into ‘dear sirs’.

It is really starting to piss me off and I’m considering once all is complete writing a letter of complain to the solicitors company.

AIBU? Or should I just let it go?

They are addressing the company not the individuals.

Quite happy to be told I’m wrong but I thought that addressing something Dear sirs was used for an unknown male/men. Using dear sirs to address two women who you are fully aware of their names feels a bit rude

Yes, it's very rude.

No idea what you're on about @Sugarfree23 - there's no company involved here. The solicitors are addressing individuals.

It's an old law firm etiquette. Our firm has tried to move on from it, asking us not to use it, but smaller firms will still use it.

I suppose it is because traditionally law firms were set up by men.

Yes it is old fashioned not it is not a conspiracy created deliberately to annoy you

Its rude. It pisses me off that during our current house purchase - coordinated by me, every piece of paperwork is addressed to my partner or his name appears first, except from HSBC, who I didn't have down as a bastion of equality if I am honest.

It’s a reasonably large firm. More than 5 branches and the solicitor in question (having googled them) doesn’t look any older than mid forties.

*edited to add - it’s not my solicitor and obviously I’m not paying him so probably not my place to say anything. I understand it’s nothing personal just seems strange

I'd feed back politely now.

Is your solicitor an individual or part of a company?

Not sure why they'd use Sirs if it is mail purely for you but I totally get it if its to a business

FAO Julie Bloggs
Dear Sirs

It’s not uncommon (worked for a solicitors for 20 years). Don’t complain about this. You will not be taken seriously.

If I know the individuals names, I would use them (surnames).

Company to company is always “Sirs”.

@DixonD Company to company is always “Sirs”.

Bout bloody time that changed too - what effing century are you people in? Four out of 10 company directors are women!!

Not your place? @Dearsirs2024 Eh? TELL THEM IT'S SEXIST!!

Address every reply to them 'dear Madam '

😆

This did occur to me 🤣

It's incredibly rude and my firm is moving away from using "dear sirs" as the default, though many firms aren't being as proactive. I received an email today addressed "dear sirs" and it really annoyed me since I had used the solicitor's name in my email. It's so easy to be neutral (good morning/afternoon) there really is no excuse anymore. I'd complain if I were you.

As a chap, I agree it's antiquated. I cringe when I see it. I actually work in the legal industry and it seems especially reluctant to change, perhaps because a lot of correspondence is produced by paralegals and secretaries who don't have authority or gumption to update their terminology. The last few firms I've worked in have updated guidance to use Colleagues, Client, Correspondent or other gender neutral terms depending on style and context. So yes, please do complain, and kick them into the 21st century.

Absolutely get cross.

I was the first female partner in a large rural firm in Scotland. Every bloody letter I opened, dear sirs. Dear sirs
Congrats on your appointment

Just mad

Some people are even making the case that if you aren’t addressing a named individual then we should consider dropping the salutation altogether. After all it doesn’t change the meaning of the letter or the significant content in any way at all.

Thanks for all the responses.

I actually deal with solicitors on a regular bases due to my work and every enquiry is dear sir/madam or whom it may concern, and then switched to my name after I’ve replied.

Wasn't sure if I was just being a big touchy due to moving house being stressful, however I will send a polite email once completed letting them know.

If not addressing an individual but the firm I would use the name of the firm - Dear XYZ Solicitors.

In this scenario if it is multiple emails in I would be in the Dear Madam passive aggressive territory.

@DixonD I like to think that every complaint to a person such as a solicitor would be taken seriously

My firm uses Dear XYZ Solicitors LLP

I'd not actually twigged until now it was probably a deliberate decision based on gender values.

I always thought it was wordy when Sirs would do.

Will be using XYZ Solicitors from now on

Cheers!

Can’t believe some people are still excusing this shit. If nobody complains, it will never change. It matters that men are considered the default. It diminishes us as a group by pushing us out and implying we don’t belong in a professional context. We shouldn’t accept it.

Most law firms have moved away from this but some are stuck in the past. I don't think it's really acceptable. I would send an email which says:

'Dear [law firm],

Please note that we are very happy for you to address us as Dear XYZ Firm, Dear Colleagues or by name but we would prefer not to be addressed as 'Sirs'. Thank you.'

That has worked for me

Some people use words without noticing what they mean. If you complain, they genuinely might not get it at all.

I have colleagues who use "dear sirs" because that's how they were taught to address correspondence and they don't see anything deeper to it.

I don't really understand the politics of this. I'm happy as a woman to take ownership of sirs, guys or lads. Rather than neutralise everything or invent new words, we can just broaden the definitions. Like actresses who prefer to be called actors.