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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I should be able to be a mother to my boys!!!!!

37 replies

Julezboo · 13/03/2008 14:05

I am so so angry with my MIL, she makes me feel like an incompetant and shite mum. She looks at me in disgust whenever I do anything with my boys.

Me and DP had a little spat this morning (you know the type. boht tired etc...) MIL butted in and put her big mouth in our argument sticking up for DH, then when he left to go to work she had a go at me!!!

When i dress my DS2 (1) she says "are you sure you dont want to put this on him its a bit warmer than a t shirt"

Shes a hypocryt (sp) if i turn the heating on, she waits till i go upstairs and turns it off, the fucking house is freezing!!

She pureed my DS2's dinner today and yesterday...He's 1 FFS!! She also gave him pure prange juice to drink all day tues which resulted in him having the shits and a sore bum and her reason "its got calcium in it its good for his teeth"

One day last week, he ate two weetabix's tried to go off and play and she asked me "should he have a banana now" I told her he doesnt really like banana, so she went out into the ktichen, cut one up and tried to litrally push it into his mouth, the poor boy was shaking his head and closing his mouth as tight as he possibly could, then she did the same thing at dinner time with Baked beans!!!!!!!!!!!! She keeps pushing his cup in his mouth all day, she wont just let him play or get on with things himself, shes always there, always touching him and even i can see hes getting pissed off with it! My boy is usually a happy smiley one but she wont leave him be!

Last time she was here she kept insisting on sitting in the back with the boys, then i found her loosening the straps on DS2's car seat

And FGS I wish she would stop cleaning !!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
TheHonEnid · 13/03/2008 14:06

why is she always in your house?

Original poster
Julezboo · 13/03/2008 14:09

she lived in eatbourne, found a job up here and starts next week but hasnt foudn anywhere to live yet, so she is for the moment living with us

OP posts:
ladytophamhatt · 13/03/2008 14:09

yes, why is she always there?

that would do my head too. can you tell her to go home?

VinegarTits · 13/03/2008 14:09

Can you get your dh to have a word with her?

ladytophamhatt · 13/03/2008 14:10

well, start looking for her, circling falt lets etc in the a paper or she'll be there forver......

TheHonEnid · 13/03/2008 14:10

ok I presume you agreed to her living with you

so you have to suck it up, it doesnt sound that bad, just blardy annoying

Original poster
Julezboo · 13/03/2008 14:10

DH has, she just doesnt listen, her way is the only way is pisses me off. I feel uncomofortable in my own home. I am taking her to view two flats on monday, which i have found not her!

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 13/03/2008 14:11

Let us help her find a house!

Poor you! Do try not to murder her!

hanaflower · 13/03/2008 14:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mistlethrush · 13/03/2008 14:12

I've just found the box that my MIL moved when she last did some 'sorting out' - it had ds's ear plugs for swimming in - I ended up having to buy some more as it had been moved and she denied all knowledge. So I can commiserate!

Can't think what she's thinking of loosening the car seat straps - am very for you.

Is she around all of the time?

In terms of food, drink, clothes etc they are your children, its your rules that count.

Original poster
Julezboo · 13/03/2008 14:12

i couldnt really see her out on the street and tbh she promised to not do all this, we had a big fall out last summer and she told me i was a shit muma nd i was gonna drive my kids away because i dont give in to them all time.

OP posts:
WanderingTrolley · 13/03/2008 14:12

Have loud sex.

She'll be gone by Easter.

hanaflower · 13/03/2008 14:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VinegarTits · 13/03/2008 14:13

Sounds highly annoying, ask her to come and look at this amazing thing you found in the shed, then push her in and accidently lock the door and lose the key.

WanderingTrolley · 13/03/2008 14:13

Sorry didn't mean that flippantly - I think you have to make her feel uncomfortable if she's a battleaxe who will make life worse if you are direct with her.

She sounds a nightmare. I would be tempted to sit her in the front and undo her seatbelt tbh, the nutter.

Original poster
Julezboo · 13/03/2008 14:14

she just wont let the kids be kids!! im weepy and snappy at the moment anyway (buried my grandma yesterday) it isnt helping i met DP for lunch and told him he needs to lay down rules or somethings gonna give and it wont be me.

OP posts:
waffletrees · 13/03/2008 14:14

YANBU she is being a pain. TRY and grit your teeth - she will be gone soon. Perhaps, what she really needs (apart from find herself a flat pronto) is to do alot of babysitting for you. May aswell use her while she is there.

minouminou · 13/03/2008 14:15

fakkieeen''ell
nightmare
i second the honenid...why's she under your feet?
sounds like a serious case of nolifeitis to me
reading between thr lines, though, how assertive are you? you told her he doesn't "really like banana", which she may have misinterpreted as "give it a go", or "maybe", as she's a bit forceful
something like "no, he's done eating for now, and he won't eat bananas" wuold be clearer
i know it's difficult with the MIL, and i've now got a special "this is how i'm/we're doing it" tone which is final, but not unpleasant
practice in the mirror....i did, otherwise it'd sound more like "back off, you evil crone!"
i think you're coming from the other direction though, so you need to beef it up a bit
except for, however...the car seat...that deserves a "back off, evil crone", deffo

MadamePlatypus · 13/03/2008 14:16

Orange Juice is acidic and contains fruit sugars. I think she is a bit misguided about i being good for teeth.

sparklyfairypie · 13/03/2008 14:16

vinegartits omg i just choked on my soup!

Original poster
Julezboo · 13/03/2008 14:18

vinagertits LOL!!! I wish we had a shed id be out there myself. Although im sure i could lose her in the jungle garden we have LOL!

Wandering - if we are direct with her she plays the victim, starts crying etc... and says she wont have anything to do with the boys, tell everyone what a witch I am. Last summer was horrendous. I know I'm way too nice to say no and maybe I should. She has only got one son (dp) so we are pretty much stcuk with her. She's not right in the head, got a screw loose or something. Last summer she told DP i'd be hitting her and ignoring her in the day when he was at work I have never raised my hand to anyone in my life

OP posts:
VinegarTits · 13/03/2008 14:18

I was joking of course i do sympathise, i just don't have any helpful advice. Minouminou's advice is good though.

TheDevilWearsPrimark · 13/03/2008 14:21

My MIL is the same so I can sympathise. She roots around our drawers when visiting us and then puts jumpers on the DC even when it is perfectly warm.
She also always brings cake and practically forcefeeds it to them in huge spoonfuls, then criticises when I try to make them finish up their healthy dinner.
She buys enormous extravagant toys for them, and clothes that are either too small or far too big (and often not very nice)

She is a very headstrong succesful woman and I find it hard to know how to step up to her.

minouminou · 13/03/2008 14:25

why thankyou
ahhhh...crying, threatening this that and the other..bring it on
let her do it, this is the behaviour of the powerless, and once they see that it doesn't work, they usually come round and start behaving a bit more rationally
now, repeat with me
"this is the way we're doing it"
"this is the way we've decided to do it"
"this is the way that works best for us"
and breathe..........

Original poster
Julezboo · 13/03/2008 14:27

DWP is she My MIL?

See my MIL is portuguese, shes convinced everyone is racist and hates the foreign. She's the kind of person who thinks everyone is against her but tbh Im not surprised the way she speaks to me.

We was out in town the other day and leaving a cafe, there was an old man sat at a table and his grandson was asleep in his pushchair There was plenty of room for me to get my pushchair out but she said to the man "you, move your pushchair so we can get out"
i told him it didnt matter that there as plenty of room shes so rude and inconsiderate.

OP posts:
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