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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wish my cleaner would stop with the reminders?

268 replies

JMSA · 28/11/2023 20:39

I have a cleaner who cleans my flat on a fortnightly basis. Usually I'm at work when she comes, but we've always got on really well on the occasions I've caught her. I'm really considerate and always have my place tidy and ready for her to clean. I'm always flexible and genuinely really appreciate her.
One thing I've genuinely never let her down with is payment. The money will always be transferred on the evening of the day she has come. I've never let her down on this, not once.
Today I bumped into her as she was leaving my place and I was getting home from work. Two hours later, when I was in the middle of making the kids' dinner, there was a message from her asking me to pay. I don't think there's any need for this, when I'm trustworthy and reliable every single time.
I don't set up a standing order because I'd rather just pay on the day she comes. This keeps me right in case she ever has to change day.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Hankunamatata · 28/11/2023 22:44

Surely u would just transfer the money as soon as you got in when u had seen the cleaner leaving.

Canisaysomething · 28/11/2023 22:45

A huge part of being self employed is chasing payments. Pay her in advance if you really don’t want the reminder.

Merrymouse · 28/11/2023 22:45

I would just set up a standing order. The worst that can happen is you pay her for a week and then she disappears.

astarsheis · 28/11/2023 22:45

JMSA · 28/11/2023 22:21

Thanks everyone. Didn't expect so many replies!
Nothing was agreed re payment or reminders. She has also never requested cash. It would be a PITA, due to the uneven amount, but I'd absolutely do it if that was her preference.
I'll try to pay even more promptly in future, but I work in a school and it's hard to get on my phone.
This is a mild irritation and nothing more. I like her and am happy with her work. I just didn't consider the reminders necessary when I've always paid on the same day/evening.

'mild irritation' but you felt it necessary to make a thread about it.
I leave cash for our cleaning lady so there's never any need for me or her to get 'irritated'.

Viviennemary · 28/11/2023 22:48

It's a poor show you didn't propioritise paying immediately after she did the work. She probably thought you had forgotten.

Bouncyball23 · 28/11/2023 22:50

So she seen you was home yet you still hadn't paid for 2 hours untill she messaged, how long was you going to make her wait? Maybe get cash out and leave it on side for her in future!

tillyandmilly · 28/11/2023 22:50

I leave cash on the day for my cleaner

Pluvia · 28/11/2023 22:52

dishwasherquestion · 28/11/2023 22:38

Paid to serve? Get back to the 19th century with your upstairs-downstairs attitudes.

Nope. Sorry. I am a professional and it is how I view my own service. I am literally being paid to serve my clients. It is what I do . I am providing a professional skilled service. The client's convenience is how a professional business is a success.

Do you really regard your solicitor and accountant as servants and expect then to jump when you say so? Do you think you're doing them a favour, employing them?

I've employed an accountant for the last 35 years and have used solicitors far more times than I would have wished. It's a mutual relationship, as is the relationship with a cleaner. My accountant and lawyer give me advice and I usually do what they suggest. It's not my way or no way. And they both work at their own speed and I have to fit in appointments to suit them.

Comparing a highly regulated professional service charged at £200+ an hour with the kind of minimal edge-of-your-pants wages paid to cleaners is completely inappropriate. The power balance is completely different.

TerrysChocolateOrange · 28/11/2023 23:02

When my cleaner walks into the house, I pay her.

I have in the past paid her six weeks money in advance when she was short, my mindset being I trust her, and she needs support.

She has a client whom she does always three sometimes four hours and every week A leaves her hanging, sometimes for three or four days. I generally step in and help if she asks for help.

You are in the privileged position of being able to afford a cleaner, take the responsibility that comes with that privilege. 😡

ReadingSoManyThreads · 28/11/2023 23:05

YANBU

I don't know why people are banging on about you paying late when you are paying THE SAME DAY you received the service. How the hell is that late?? Jeez, even most trademen give you 7 days to pay their invoice. You're paying the same day, I too would be irked to receive reminders, I do my online banking at night, if she has an issue with payment, then she needs to communicate with you and ask for cash to be left out for her.

If you pay the same day, as you say, then YANBU.

whatevss · 28/11/2023 23:05

It's clearly important to her that she receives payment immediately. Pay her immediately and she won't have to waste her time issuing you with a reminder.

ThereIbledit · 28/11/2023 23:06

If you leave the correct change cash for her, she won't do it.

WtP · 28/11/2023 23:12

Could be worse!
My window cleaners have a similar name to the firm who service our boiler.
Every month our window cleaners came I went on my banking App and paid them.... Only I wasn't, I was paying the heating company 😂
I felt really stupid when the heating company phoned me to ask why I was paying them £10.50 a month as I had paid for the last service.
The window cleaners were really understanding when I told them my mistake 😊

Blondeshavemorefun · 28/11/2023 23:13

What time do you usually Pay her ?

If it's say 3pm ish as leave school maybe she texts to nudge remind you if haven't paid and it's 5/6

She may be relying on that money for food shopping /petrol etx

Set a remainder on your phone so when look at it after finishing work you will
See it and know need to transfer

Cash is hassle as I never have or so need to go to the bank to get it or local
Shop and cash back

nameychanger5678 · 28/11/2023 23:20

YABU

You should pay her promptly. Not make her wait until the evening.

Nanny0gg · 28/11/2023 23:22

AppleKatie · 28/11/2023 20:59

My cleaner insists on payment the day before.

So what happens if she doesn't turn up or does a poor job or leaves early or breaks something...?

Nanny0gg · 28/11/2023 23:24

CharlotteBog · 28/11/2023 21:20

Of all the tradespeople to hide from, the window cleaner must be the hardest - what with them peering in every single window in the house!

Show quote history

Modern window cleaners use a jet not a ladder - so you're safe upstairs!

SiousieSoo · 28/11/2023 23:31

JMSA · 28/11/2023 22:21

Thanks everyone. Didn't expect so many replies!
Nothing was agreed re payment or reminders. She has also never requested cash. It would be a PITA, due to the uneven amount, but I'd absolutely do it if that was her preference.
I'll try to pay even more promptly in future, but I work in a school and it's hard to get on my phone.
This is a mild irritation and nothing more. I like her and am happy with her work. I just didn't consider the reminders necessary when I've always paid on the same day/evening.

It would never occur to me to create a post over a 'mild irritation'. The title of the post and the tenet of the post do not reflect such mild irritation. I think you are re-writing history and minimising your own lax conduct because it is convenient for you to do so. You were clearly annoyed when you created the post so just own it and check yourself.

SiousieSoo · 28/11/2023 23:33

Nanny0gg · 28/11/2023 23:22

So what happens if she doesn't turn up or does a poor job or leaves early or breaks something...?

Show quote history

You then work out the arrangements in a civilised and normal manner.. Why would you even question this? Bizarre.

TopOfTheCliff · 28/11/2023 23:35

I pay my cleaner by standing order and decided back in lockdown that she would get paid every week regardless of sickness leave or holidays. She is a single mum who struggles to manage and I am fortunate enough to be able to afford to pay her regularly. (During Covid we joked that she was working from home and delegated the cleaning to me). I value her very much and she has helped keep my house in order throughout my chemotherapy, surgery and a broken leg. I try to treat others as I would wish to be treated.
OP have you considered a standing order? You can always cancel it if she isn’t coming that week.

Mamanyt · 28/11/2023 23:46

flowerygloves · 28/11/2023 20:41

She probably relies on that money coming promptly and is fed up of chasing people so just reminds people on the day that they need to pay her while it's fresh in their mind. It's not personal just pay her

This. My father gave me an excellent piece of advice about something similar. He said, "If it does not apply to you, ignore it. It wasn't aimed at you." On her part, it is much easier to send out a reminder to EVERY client, and not try to remember who needs what.

Rafting2022 · 28/11/2023 23:46

Fantasmic143 · 28/11/2023 20:44

Maybe have a conversation about when is reasonable to send a reminder?

I have recently started doing a bank transfer for my amazing cleaner (was getting cash before and it was a massive pita to remember) and I have been waiting to see her leave on the ring doorbell. Then I pay her! But I am sometimes busy with meetings and am terrified I am going to forget. So I want to say to her that if I've not paid by say 6pm, PLEASE send me a reminder because I would be mortified to forget!

Why not set your own reminder so they don’t have to?

Copperoliverbear · 28/11/2023 23:56

She probably just sends them everyday to the people she has cleaned for, not everyone is reliable at paying like you, probably sends it to everyone so as not to single people out. X

Copperoliverbear · 28/11/2023 23:58

I'd leave cash ready for her. X

Longsight2019 · 29/11/2023 00:27

Just send it. No questions asked. Let her ask again and don’t take offence.