Unwanted gift etiquette and the giant dinosaur

[LavenderSweetPea]

So basically, in the mail yesterday we received a 6ft inflatable, light up Christmas dinosaur from MIL.

DH and I both agree we really really don't like it - it's very much not our style (or the style of the people in our neighbourhood either judging by last years christmas decorations). It's an outdoor thing so the only place it could go would be directly outside the front of the house.

Usually, when getting a gift you don't like, obviously you smile, say thank you, pretend you do like it but then either put it away and dont use it or donate/regift it if appropriate. Unfortunately we aren't going to be able to do that because we've already got a text asking to see a picture of it up (it's not even December so I figure we've got at least a few days to kick that can down the road) and MIL lives locally so comes round to us all the time so will know if we don't have it up throughout December. She's also spending Christmas with us and staying for 5 days so I don't see the normal 'we love it' and then putting it away forever is going to work here.

We don't want to offend, but at the same time I really don't want a 6ft inflatable dinosaur outside my house from now until NY, environmentally it seems incredibly wasteful to accept a giant plastic gift that's ultimately going to landfill. Added to that I'm 7 months pregnant and cba with additional christmas decs to take down right before my due date.

I have said DH needs to politely speak to MIL and explain that it was kind of her to think of us, but unfortuantely it's really not our sort of thing and can we take it back to the store for her and get her her money back for it (she's not awash with cash so I really don't want her to waste her money on this). DH said we should put it up, send her a picture and that claim a few days later that high winds etc damaged it and take it down, but I feel that she might buy us another or insist we return it for a replacement if it's not withstood normal weather conditions, plus I'm a terrible liar!

What do you all think? (ps. Yes I know this is ridiculous)

Give over, of course she thought they would like it! She got it wrong but that doesn't mean it was a thoughtless gift!

And also, 'they didn't ask for it.' Well, no. That's kind of how gifting sometimes works..

If you put it up to please her she’ll buy you more ugly plastic crap next year.

God yes, cut her off now to avoid the tradition of 'oh, they loved the first one I bought them so much I HAVE to buy them something every year to add to the collection'.

(I grudgingly have to concede that he is cute though LOL.)

Buying this for 2 adults who aren’t into giant tat was stupid of her.

Why doesn’t your husband tell her she can put it in her garden?

I think you've definitely got to say something to her. If this was my mum or MIL I think we'd say something like:

"It was so kind of you to send us the Christmas dinosaur! He is very funny. But we've had a look and we've got to be honest: we can't quite imagine having him outside the house over Christmas! I don't know if you knew quite how big he is, but he's absolutely massive and we'd just prefer to keep things a bit more subtle... I'm sure once we've got a toddler running around in a few years' time it'll be giant inflatables everywhere, but we kind of feel this is our last chance for a grown-up Christmas! So hilarious though he is, I think it might be better to return him and get your money back?"

I had to give back a dress once as it just didn’t suit me. It was awkward but the giver understood. Tbh, it actually suited her better than me as I saw her wearing it lots of times afterwards 🤷‍♀️

I think with things that awful, you need to get on the front foot.

When it arrived, you should have called or messaged her straight away with all the 😂😂🤣🤣 emojis in the world saying she is hilarious, and you love her sense of humour so much, the dinosaur is hilarious, she must have remembered that conversation you had last year about the judgemental neighbours complaining about over the top decorations and it’s just the best novelty present ever.
And while you’re not going to poke the bear and put it up, you’ve told a few friends and they think she is brilliant also

So she can’t be offended and will have to pretend to be in on the joke but you’re off the hook having to put it up

It's fabulous!

On the bright side OP, it could have been worse, an eight foot Dino with Santa astride it.

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/276041777362?hash=item40455f40d2:g:wL8AAOSwT6Rk~wgP&amdata=enc%3AAQAIAAABACBHIpUAw3%2BqXLqsI8Niy3A5RDEDnRfxkx1BAbkCTj0Kjcr5s86dkpLZEQw20%2F2G1R8KpKfAvg3NRHKadJM2RdczSSNp7E7COCl%2BC8uAgrDnb5yWdYqbHG6tduuSorMjFyRMk9qCrwyUVsJerOF41L13vK%2BHUcK7W%2FLWsWlwxqPlvHypXx6zaifqrnLu1wm%2BNxz%2BzXaq85FAuSAHJnbI%2FerYRSwy4HqdxHHaD3o2vK2AT2VBIc5H4LaBW7747ciYoi6I5Urv5gluqyvtC%2BPxehtELFodsqQI%2BV40iEW9PxULQq0%2FR2GOzOe5rIivU5GuBxV9f9TVJjaEUW%2FG0B%2FNkcc%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR9aw8t6CYw

If you put it up to please her she’ll buy you more ugly plastic crap next year.

God yes! If the risk of having a whole family of the bloody things out there within 2 or 3 years isn't enough to make DH brave enough to be honest with her, then nothing will!

When she comes over Christmas put her in the smallest room in the house. Put giant dinosaur in the room with her. Job done!

I feel for you op; when we had our bathroom re-modelled my fil said we should put the old toilet in the garden and plant flowers in it. I'm not kidding. My DH finds it difficult to say no to his parents, but no way was that happening!!

😂

I really, really want this. Going to Homebase tomorrow in hope. I’m going to spray it with the suffragette colours. 🤞🏼

In all serious though, some of you have mentioned that if we accept the dinosaur, we might unwittingly start something where we get something similar every year. I think we'd be wisest to nip this in the bud now and fess up that we aren't giant dinosaur people!

Blow it up, put in front garden, take photo.

deflate and take to charity shop. Tell MIL it got stolen overnight but you don’t mind because someone must have really really loved it to do that so it’s met it’s soulmate.

Having gone down an inflatable Dino rabbit hole I fear you might sadly be right, you can get Halloween and Easter ones too!

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/125844017509?hash=item1d4ce35165:g:16UAAOSwqSlkHs6a&amdata=enc%3AAQAIAAABABYfyoBg8nIyMfNWE4Dw1wzJAPZCHFT%2BEk9XHBhkqudnBUepNRh6pdPzU%2FPb%2Bc7qUBAAYqd%2FOuITBXv21W0Fw2gh6wJ8UFi%2FmMkG3espNVte63QicMebaPDj%2FYe7oXQBYeJ5BiFXI6uXbwoZb4FQFAnWYtF7TRFygCdo2NGdy7mYHs8tQ87ckofgmNJERInHaUPP5UT%2FP5%2FQyqsC6J6wIJRYzDPa%2Bc81m4pojmNgiTsdA1LYvAxydKXcadGq5g2Mr8vWmZ8ndiagEMovhKK9bDTAXyhDGdAexxdDwRE1P21xvkKHO2gq3uCQFOPbmxGfNg7Shpy3f20rwTKdUkIMXoc%3D%7Ctkp%3ABk9SR-TImN-CYw

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/374237514800?hash=item57224b4c30:g:lX0AAOSw-eJjFwxD&amdata=enc%3AAQAIAAABAFVrjLZXULcfGpxQtT%2FGEJ6sqm2ZNKGvd8CJz15OuPXUBGNrxc3IWhE3OvU7MnIImox876tXq6wpAYLcLH6z8rsuq%2BW399qyOprIW7fcRnHmHczxJktm8GXIH3LCNNXrYzL%2B06hBX5xJTMp%2F2qg1hSwqpgELdxD5TE3bJzfhKKNQ7kLAF9P5PhJ%2FTkUtyi6RbCAV5Tcd3xTxoI6pqvjDWTCLMihsDf9vvUZZ%2B98c4pC1t6Y8Dm%2BPlndViKf17a3x1ap3rOh4cuciuUPoO0fcKl7g9%2FfKsKk87vlGzWdHC8Z1FlKwDVKoflW5sUpwZlTyNgM0rnlExZ6BnEaIqdzJJxs%3D%7Ctkp%3ABFBM5MiY34Jj

Tell her that you've heard on mumsnet that giant plastic dinosaurs are the new pampas grass and you don't want to give the neighbours the wrong idea... 'as we don't have toddlers they're bound to think it's a signal of some kind...'

It's your MIL. You're heavily pregnant. This is your DH's problem.

I am so sorry OP but this did really make me laugh 😂 only because I can imagine my MIL doing this and me feeling exactly the same as you 🤣

Tell dh to tell her you’ve already planned the front of house decorations and it won’t fit?

How about a little white lie? Tell her that another neighbour put one up and the resident association complained about it and they took it down. Say that as you have a little one on the way you do not want to be falling out with the neighbours.

Brilliant

YABU!

You know the Christmas dinosaur is a tradition going back millions of years. Get it up, get it lit and enjoy 😂

@purplecorkheart it doesn't need to be a "white lie".
As I said upthread - "Sorry MIL but it's too big".
That's all that needs to be said.
Why make up lies or big long explanations.

If it was me I would ring the supplier and ask if a swap was possible. And if it is ring mother n law and ask her if she minds you swap.