Unwanted gift etiquette and the giant dinosaur

[LavenderSweetPea]

So basically, in the mail yesterday we received a 6ft inflatable, light up Christmas dinosaur from MIL.

DH and I both agree we really really don't like it - it's very much not our style (or the style of the people in our neighbourhood either judging by last years christmas decorations). It's an outdoor thing so the only place it could go would be directly outside the front of the house.

Usually, when getting a gift you don't like, obviously you smile, say thank you, pretend you do like it but then either put it away and dont use it or donate/regift it if appropriate. Unfortunately we aren't going to be able to do that because we've already got a text asking to see a picture of it up (it's not even December so I figure we've got at least a few days to kick that can down the road) and MIL lives locally so comes round to us all the time so will know if we don't have it up throughout December. She's also spending Christmas with us and staying for 5 days so I don't see the normal 'we love it' and then putting it away forever is going to work here.

We don't want to offend, but at the same time I really don't want a 6ft inflatable dinosaur outside my house from now until NY, environmentally it seems incredibly wasteful to accept a giant plastic gift that's ultimately going to landfill. Added to that I'm 7 months pregnant and cba with additional christmas decs to take down right before my due date.

I have said DH needs to politely speak to MIL and explain that it was kind of her to think of us, but unfortuantely it's really not our sort of thing and can we take it back to the store for her and get her her money back for it (she's not awash with cash so I really don't want her to waste her money on this). DH said we should put it up, send her a picture and that claim a few days later that high winds etc damaged it and take it down, but I feel that she might buy us another or insist we return it for a replacement if it's not withstood normal weather conditions, plus I'm a terrible liar!

What do you all think? (ps. Yes I know this is ridiculous)

Someone in my granny's neighborhood had one and it was bloody awesome! Me and DS who was 3 last yr absolutely loved it we would walk round to granny's just to see the neighbours dinosaur!

I know you're not keen but I'd put it up and I bet you get nice comments about it.

It's fun :)

No help here I'm afraid but I do need to ask why she's staying with you for 5 days if she lives locally?? My in laws live locally and, although we get on, I'm grateful for that as it means they never need to come and stay with us!

It's fine not to use it and to gently tell mother in law that if you wish to, though I'd just give it away rather than cause any upset.

I do find your comment of 'not the style of people in our neighbourhood...' very odd though. I dont understand why that would matter. I think you should decorate as you like and not worry about the neighbours' styles.

If it’s for your yet unborn child then say you will keep it “until they are big enough to enjoy it” then it can be hidden away and have a tragic accident in x years time.

This is a good idea. Say to her "We'll not put it up this year for fear of baby arriving early and being too busy to take it down after Christmas but I'm sure the little one will love it when they are bigger so we'll keep it safe for then"

Does your MIL hate you?

Do you have other children? Would they like to see it up? If so it isn't really for you and your DH. It's for them so could you not just put it up for their enjoyment?

Raffle please

@sparepantsandtoothbrush good question, we are having other relatives (including her other kids) who live far away to spend Christmas with us, so it kind of made sense just to have the whole family stay here. We had the space before we also had to house a dinosaur ;)

Oh I see you don't have a toddler so in that case I'd just keep it and save it for them because they really will like it when they are 2/3/4

@Tomelette funily enough this is EXACTLY the first thing I said to DH 😂no she doesn't hate us. She does have a long history of unsolicited gifts of varying quality (some fantastic, some less so) but they've never been so LARGE before

Tell them it was wiped out by a meteor strike

Oh, I need that in my life. It's totally not in the neighborhood style and would get my neighbours' hackles up.

@LavenderSweetPea seriously....you don't want it. Don't waste time putting it up and taking a photo. Just don't use it.
Maybe raffle it off locally and give the money raised to a local charity (or donate it to a charity that will raffle it instead).

Don’t tell your MIL it was damaged. My grandparents gave my dad a beaded car seat that he didn’t want but my mum used. They noticed when they visited and bought him another as my mum had ‘nicked’ it….

I'd thank her and say that you'll put it in the loft until your child is 3 or 4 and the donate it to their pre-school for their Christmas fair.

OP, please tell your MIL that I hate her.

Because now I have to order one for Church on Christmas day and my vicar is gonna KILL ME.

But it's gotta be done.

In an ideal world I'd do what you're suggesting but people being what they are, it probably would be better to do what your partner suggests.

Or it has gone to live on a farm.

So basically she wants to decorate your house with something you don’t like.

Your message is perfect. If you put it up to please her she’ll buy you more ugly plastic crap next year. If you’re honest, she’s less likely to keep doing it. She might be a bit miffed briefly but she’ll get over it. Nobody has the right to foist things like this on someone else.

It’s really ridiculous that so many people would actually accept this thing and display it in their garden to “be kind” to MIL. This isn’t a thoughtful generous gift in any way. She didn’t ask you if you wanted one. And the fact that she wants a picture of it outside your house suggests that she’s doing it for her own entertainment.

I think your message is fine, however I think that is it is your DH's mum you should go with his suggestion. Ultimately he knows his mum best and I always think that each partner in a relationship should be responsible for dealing with their own parents. Put it up, take the pic, then give to a charity shop, tell MIL that it was damaged.

Tricky because I can imagine it's not an easy one to explain you dislike. Wait til Dec. Inflate. Take a pic of him. Leave him in the front garden for the night. Go out when it's quiet and dark and v late and deflate so he's gone down and is packed away by morning. Raffle him off on MN to the highest bidder and post asap.

Oh MIL, SUCH a shame someone nicked him. And in such a nice area too... who would have thought it- better not to replace in case it happens again. Maybe just get a tree ornament next time.

I love Christmas decorations but not a giant inflatable dinosaur. It's just not Christmassy.

What an extraordinarily odd gift to buy someone 😂

Be honest.
It's nearly always the best thing to do because lies tend to come back and bite you on the arse.

ie: if you tell her you like it but can't put it up because x, y z she'll try to solve x, y and z for you.

Just a thought though - in a couple of xmas's when your DC is a toddler you might want to put it up for them in the back garden for xmas week.

You could soften the blow for MIL by telling her that's what you'll do instead.

Sorry OP I've got nothing to add, but this thread has made my day! I'm watching as desperate to find out the fate of the 6' dinosaur 😂