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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

School attendance

57 replies

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:30

Posting for traffic not really AIBU sorry.

So I received a letter on DD's book bag yesterday sent out yesterday regarding her attendance, as stated she was off all last week as advised by school as she was vomiting and then after that finished had diarrhoea.

(We've also had a few days scattered off as we caught covid and school states child be kept off for three days after positive test )

Aswell as general bugs which have gave a fever, DD didn't attend nursery so her immune system took a harsh hit when joining school.

The letter states I have a legal responsibility to ensure full time education once a child reaches statutory school age.

Am I wrong in thinking 5 is actually the legal school age? And any attendance made by pupils under 5 is disregarded for the school year? She is a late July so won't turn 5 until six weeks Summer holidays.

OP posts:

DisquietintheRanks · 28/11/2023 09:33

Just bin the letter and get on with your life. Honestly, don't give it a moments thought, it's just auto-generated rubbish.

My eldest missed a fair bit of reception due to picking up things left, right and centre. By year 1 everything had calmed down.

Original poster

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:35

I was going to do this, but it's the paragraph dedicated to being at risk for persistently absent which riddles me with anxiety.

There's also a paragraph that states they'd want to make a referral to the school nurse who can talk to me about " medical needs " - suffers with constipation....

OP posts:

Geneve82 · 28/11/2023 09:35

generic letter sent to all parents at your school i imagine

was it addressed
Dear parent

Original poster

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:36

Geneve82 · 28/11/2023 09:35

generic letter sent to all parents at your school i imagine

was it addressed
Dear parent

Yes, was addressed parent/guardian off ..DD

OP posts:

Geneve82 · 28/11/2023 09:36

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:35

I was going to do this, but it's the paragraph dedicated to being at risk for persistently absent which riddles me with anxiety.

There's also a paragraph that states they'd want to make a referral to the school nurse who can talk to me about " medical needs " - suffers with constipation....

just seen this
the school sound great and just trying to help Op. why push back and see shadows?

Foxesandsquirrels · 28/11/2023 09:37

The school sound like they're being helpful. What's the issue? They're right, it can lead to persistent absence. They're offering help..what do you want?

Geneve82 · 28/11/2023 09:37

why are you regularly covid testing her?

Original poster

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:38

Geneve82 · 28/11/2023 09:37

why are you regularly covid testing her?

I work in a high risk job, and my work requires testing still with symptoms

OP posts:

Bluevelvetsofa · 28/11/2023 09:42

I hoped people realised now that these letters from schools are sent because they have to, to demonstrate to Ofsted that their systems are in place.

It sounds as though they are offering support and it might be helpful to speak to the school nurse if you have health concerns.

Brefugee · 28/11/2023 09:45

tbh i'd decline school nurse involvement for the constipation and maybe go to your trusted GP instead (if you have tried all the obvious things)

And if she's off again and you get another letter, call and go through their sickness policy and ask if you should ignore it and send her in with D&V to keep their statistics up.

Bin all the letters unless and until they actually involve some authority in it.

Geneve82 · 28/11/2023 09:46

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:38

I work in a high risk job, and my work requires testing still with symptoms

Show quote history

yes but it seems very unfair that your children’s education will suffer as a result of they have to miss school even if absolutely fine but positive. Not a problem at 4, but what about 14?

Original poster

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:46

Brefugee · 28/11/2023 09:45

tbh i'd decline school nurse involvement for the constipation and maybe go to your trusted GP instead (if you have tried all the obvious things)

And if she's off again and you get another letter, call and go through their sickness policy and ask if you should ignore it and send her in with D&V to keep their statistics up.

Bin all the letters unless and until they actually involve some authority in it.

Surprisingly the constipation seems to have resolved on its on in the last couple of months, we went through a movicol and lactulose treatment that seems to have worked and is now pooping everyday... sorry for tmi.

I don't think nurse needs to be involved for reasonings of absence, she has been off because she has caught the same bugs every other child has had in class.

( ALL parents at pick up and drop off are complaining of this years bugs )

OP posts:

Geneve82 · 28/11/2023 09:48

the school are trying to be proactive and helpful. actually offering support.

reception… not compulsory at 4 but so important to keep up momentum because every day - SO much goes on. might not appear so… but it will be like, going in a pair to school toilet for first time. Doing in assembly for the first time etc

Original poster

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:48

@Geneve82

I only do the testing if DD has symptoms, and school policy is 3 days off for Covid.

That's not my policy that I have made, and I have asked school even without symptoms and they still stated if DD has a positive test she needs to stay off for 3 days.

Would you rather I lie about her having a positive test and then send her in to spread the virus?

OP posts:

Geneve82 · 28/11/2023 09:49

so she’s been off a few times for covid positives (each time requiring 3 days off you say)

plus d&v

plus constipation

and she’s only been at the school 2.5 months?

OP - it would be an odd school if they weren’t concernwd

Original poster

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:51

Geneve82 · 28/11/2023 09:49

so she’s been off a few times for covid positives (each time requiring 3 days off you say)

plus d&v

plus constipation

and she’s only been at the school 2.5 months?

OP - it would be an odd school if they weren’t concernwd

I'm not asking them to not be concerned, and I'm appreciative of the help.

I simply asked is a child's attendance under 4 countable towards the whole school attendance and if it is a legal responsibility like the letter states.

OP posts:

WowOK · 28/11/2023 09:52

I received one. I wrote back to the school.... further to your recent letter, please be advised that DC is not statutory school age. While, I appreciate attendance is important i have followed the school guidance on illness.

Mine actually was a warning of potential fine
I was pissed. She isn't even 5.

Original poster

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:54

WowOK · 28/11/2023 09:52

Mine actually was a warning of potential fine
I was pissed. She isn't even 5.

That's what my plan is, at the minute I think my " LEGAL " responsibility is to care for my child when poorly, I won't send her into school to just be called back to come and get her an hour later when she is vomiting, and also risking every child in her class, and then the children who have siblings in other classes.

OP posts:

WandaWonder · 28/11/2023 09:54

Geneve82 · 28/11/2023 09:49

so she’s been off a few times for covid positives (each time requiring 3 days off you say)

plus d&v

plus constipation

and she’s only been at the school 2.5 months?

OP - it would be an odd school if they weren’t concernwd

Yes this

DailyMailHater · 28/11/2023 09:54

Sounds like a generic letter that is triggered by the system when absence hits a certain level.

school are doing what they have to do to aid pupils who are persistantly absent - they are offering help and support, it isn’t a personal attack.

Original poster

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:55

Also @Geneve82 has never had a day off due to constipation, only time constipation was every mentioned to the school is when I got a call at 10am to go and collect her because she needed a poo and wouldn't do one at school. I went in to the school within 15 minutes DD had a poo - I went home.

OP posts:

Sirzy · 28/11/2023 09:55

It does sound like she had had a lot of time off in the half term she has been there? Irrespective of what the legalities are missing a lot of school will have a knock on with her education. How long is her actual attendance?

Original poster

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:55

I don't view this as a personal attack, I'm simply asking where you stand if your child is under 5 🤦🏻‍♀️

OP posts:

Geneve82 · 28/11/2023 09:56

was there any specific reason why you chose for DD not attend nursery?

Original poster

Seekingguidance22 · 28/11/2023 09:57

She had 2x 3 days off and then last week was off all week as had vomiting Monday morning ( in uniform ) and then diarrhoea started Wednesday.

Each day I called the school and was told needed to stay off for 48hrs since last vomit/loose stool.

OP posts:

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