I am in SO much pain. Surely this can't just be because I am fat?

[herewegoroundthebastardbush]

This is really a question either for the medical or for my fellow fatties - I'm 5'6, about 14 stone (😬) and 39. I used to be around 10 stone. put on a lot of weight very rapidly about 5 years ago when my mum died, and ever since then have struggled with binge eating and the weight has continued to creep up.

So the past 6 months or so, I'm in horrible physical pain much of the time. It started with my knees, which have never been great since I went through a phase of running to work on concrete in my 20s (idiot). But now it's not just the odd twinge, I'll be literally limping and whimpering and climbing the stairs is murder. I've also developed a horrible permanent pain in my right foot which the internet tells me is plantar fasciitis. And I can't ever seem to get comfortable in bed as whichever way I lie seems to pull the base of my spine out of alignment and it feels strained.

I have a busy life, two small kids and one is at nursery and the other at school, so every day after work I have to do a very brisk march march up the road to nursery and then turn and walk very fast back to school to get the eldest (about 40mins fast walking - or jogging if im late!) all told. I've started to dread it with a mortal fear as I am in SO much pain - some days I'm literally limping and gasping with it, but I can't stop because obvs then no-one would pick up my kids (partner has the car as works in a different city). That's the low point of my day, but just getting out of bed and standing up in the morning is horrendous too, it hurts so much and I literally limp like a comedy pirate for the first 20 mins of the day my foots so bad.

The one time I went to the GP about my knees, she did the head tilt and talked to me about my weight (didn't even examine my knees), and that aches and pains are more frequent as we age so its important to take care of our weight to reduce that. I agree I am too fat and need to lose weight. I am trying. But I see people far fatter and older than me who don't seem to be in total agony as they walk around!? So is this normal and fixable by losing some weight? Or is there something I should be worried about?

My PF was triggered by wearing a “good” pair of walking shoes - turns out the soles were far too inflexible and not enough arch support. Took a couple of years to go away, once I realised and stopped wearing those shoes. What helped though was not the insoles but elasticated ankle support socks for PF. Got them from Boots. A lot easier/cheaper than insoles in every pair of shoes as I found that insoles made most of my shoes too tight. Meant that first step after sitting for a while wasn’t white hot agony.

Pilates helps too - both my bad back and feet due to the stretches and the load bearing exercises.

In addition to above I saw GP several times and they did nothing. Physio are far more specialised to deal with skeletal muscular conditions. They would refer you back to gp if needed.

I was worried about arthritis, as mum had serious osteoarthritis from very early age and physio put my mind at ease on this. My knees have been mostly healthy for 8 years thanks to that physio.

I’m seeing a rheumatologist at the moment as I have ankylosing spondylitis. It’s an inflammatory form of arthritis. For me it mainly affects my back and heels (plantar fasciitis) and like you, it can be agony for the first 20 mins of the day until I get moving. Exercise/movement usually helps to disperse the inflammation.

I could have written your exact OP. Knee and back pain, and PF in both feet making me hobble like a cartoon witch for the first 20 minutes of every day. My BMI was 30.5 and I was trying everything to lose some weight - my GP was convinced it was weight related. I couldn’t shift it and have now been prescribed Ozempic. I am now 2st down and my knee/back/foot pain is gone. So for me it was definitely the weight. I have now joined the gym to keep my weight stable (which seemed like a vicious circle while I was still fatter. Needed to lose weight but fat-related health issues preventing me from exercising to lose it). While I was losing, and still now, I have bought two pairs of really good trainers with arch support and those helped the PF while it was still an issue. Hope this is helpful for you.

It's probably why I've tried to ignore this for so long, because I cannot handle the idea of an ongoing condition that I can't do much about that will just get worse and worse.

You're in a muddle here,

It WILL get worse IF you do nothing about it. You're only 39.

I think many posters have missed the fact your Mum had RA or they'd not be telling you to buy different shoes and all that stuff, when what you might need are drugs to stop the progress of RA.

It started with my knees, which have never been great since I went through a phase of running to work on concrete in my 20s (idiot).

Plenty of people run on roads/concrete for years and for long distances. You are not an idiot for thinking this should be a reasonable thing to do.

It sounds like a lot of your pain is triggered by physical activity. Maybe you could see a sports physio for 30 mins (you'd have to pay but they'd have a good look at your muscles and movement).

Please go back to your GP. Get referred to physiotherapist once you've had tests for other conditions. There's shoe insoles on Amazon that might help in the meantime

I've had back problems after every pregnancy and pain on and off for twenty years. This year I finally got fed up and after some excruciating back spasms saw a consultant privately. Had an MRI holy cow I have scoliosis my lower back which I was born with slight arthritis in my right hip. The fact that I reached 66 before a diagnosis is annoying. Don't be me!!

Consultant recommended a physiotherapist who has made a big difference. But I'm also on Gabapentin which helps with pain.

I'm sorry it's awful to be in so much pain.

If you're speed marching around the place in flat shoes/boots this could be making all the pain you're experiencing worse.

Never go barefoot and ditch the flat soles. At home I wear fucking ugly crocs instead of slippers and all of my regular footwear has supportive soles. Walking boots are generally reliable for this (mine are only Aldi ones), as are most running trainers (I highly recommend New Balance trail hybrid trainers, around £30 on SportShoes.com last time I looked a couple of months ago).

At home a brilliant exercise is to roll your foot over a deodorant can. It really helps relieve the pain plus stretches out those muscles. Also when mine flares up I wear a good compression support - makes a massive difference (this is the one I have from Amazon)

If you can sort out your plantar you'll probably find that your knees and back will start improving too because the smallest issue makes how you hold yourself and move different - it places extra strain in places that aren't designed for it.

Whilst you're trying to help yourself with the plantar, get back to the GP. Yes you're carrying more weight than you need to be, but this living with this level of pain isn't going to help you lose weight so they need to do something to help you. I was once lectured on my weight whilst being seen for an infected burn on my hand - yes medical professionals are right to mention losing weight but they need to not dismiss what you're asking them for help with just because you're bigger.

My advice is coming from a perpetually obese person (5ft currently 14 stone) who has struggled a lot with pain. Mine is currently under control because I exercise regularly. I can't seem to lose additional weight (1200 daily calories, at least 4 miles ran/walked every day and no thyroid issues), but making my muscles stronger has transformed my life. Don't get me wrong, now and again the pain flares up...but crucially I'm not living in pain like I used to be and my plantar hasn't reared it's ugly head in years. Get on top of the plantar and start looking at introducing exercise into your routine - this could be something the GP can prescribe for you to get started with professional advice.

The weight thing - I am actually very well informed about good nutrition and our family meals are incredibly healthy - we meal plan and every week its 3xveg-based, 2xfish based and 2xmeat based dinners, with at least two types of vegetable (not potatoes!) with every meal. I'm a good cook and love cooking. We have treats but within reason, and at the table, not just all the time all over the place. Lots of fruit and yoghurt for the children.

That all falls down because when I am alone, I can quite easily clear a 200g bar of Dairy Milk, a 6-pack of mini cheddars and an entire bag of Haribo. As in all at once. And that I am struggling to stop. It's a disorder. And I haven't talked to a GP about this because of the shame - they clearly already think I am greedy and out of control, so imagine if I told them about this? And what could they even do? It probably needs intensive mental health support, and you can't get that these days even when you are literally suicidal, so I don't suppose they're going to waste it on someone who just can't stop eating shite. Especially when I don't have diabetes, don't have heart disiease, don't have anything that shows up on a stat - just horrible pain.

I've got a good few stone more on you and I manage 10 mile hikes twice a week. It's not your weight. It may exacerbate something, but there is something there to exacerbate. You need to see a good GP.

Have you considered therapy to help with the psychological and emotional issues underpinning your weight gain? I would bet that if you can shift some of the weight your joint pains will dramatically ease.

If your GP is proving a block, you need a script to self-advocate for yourself. Although this author is American, I find her thoughts useful and some of her scripts effective at making healthcare providers think about whether their suggestions/ offered treatments are 'fatist'. She is a fat and healthcare advocate, and her blog is free: https://weightandhealthcare.substack.com/archive

First things first,

Take the painkillers. If you can take cocodamol stuff that's anti inflammatory so it'll help not just hide the pain but actually reduce any swelling.

Now, go back to the doctor's. Say yes yes, I'm over weight and nearly 40 BUT I'm not THAT over weight and I'm not THAT old. At the very least I'd like a referral to physio - ours has an in house one which is a one off appt but it's a start. I also want to be examined.

I'm your height, heavier and feel like you do and I'm awful at taking painkillers unless I'm in agony.

I do find though that a good antiinflammatory (and they may prescribe something) works for longer than the 4 hours once I've have a couple of doses as it reduces the underlying issue. The Dr berated me for "getting used to being in pain because no one gets used to it. Take the painkillers."

I've seen physio for my knee and shoulder. Referred to muskoskeletal for my shoulder. Had bloods to rule out arthritis (family history) and have an MRI for my back today.

You're not that old and you're not that fat x

But did you gain the weight rapidly ? The OP went from 10st to 14st in a short space of time. That’ll put a strain on joints.

At 5 ft 4 and 14 stone I was told the same, my knees were crippling, couldn't sleep, my body and joints ached. Gp gave me a referral to the local slimming club for 12 weeks and an appointment with a nutritionist. I lost 2 stone as the weight came off the pain reduced, as I lost another stone I became pain free. The nutritionist helped me work out a. Balanced diet to maintain the weight . So Yes losing that extra weight can and does make a difference which I have learned to my benefit. Best prescription I ever had

I found knitting stopped me munching on crap, my friend prefers crochet, it keeps my mind focused on something else and my fingers busy. But there’s lots of other thing too, I’ve asked for an embroidery kit for Christmas that is a hoop and a guide to teach you lots of stitches.

I'm sorry but you have a very 'cant' do' attitude to your health.
Everything I've suggested here, you've ignored. A bit 'head in the sand'.

And now posters have suggested losing weight you're negative about that and insisting your GP won't help.

If you feel your GP won't help (and they will), go online and look at help there- There's BEAT which is for eating disorders, including binging which is what you're doing. You may be able to access free online help and support groups.

You might also ask your GP about therapy/ counselling because if the eating started when your Mum died, it looks as if you are still in the grieving process.

There IS a way out of all of this but, kindly, you have to start doing things where you ask for help, in real life, not just on a forum.

Good luck with it.

Why don’t you go back to the GP to ask for help in losing weight / binge eating and with your pain? At 14 stone you are clinically obese so you need to be proactive to reduce the strain on your joints. DH got to a BMI of about 29 with knee problems and then took himself in hand and now has a BMI of 21. He also had a few sessions with a physio. Maybe try swimming as you can exercise without straining your joints. As someone much older than you I would say losing weight when you are older, including in menopause, is much, much harder, so do try to lose it now. My top tip is don’t have your weakness products in the house - mine are crisps and biscuits!

Go back to your GP and ask for bloods to be done. In particular ask for inflammatory markers denoting autoimmune conditions, and vitamin levels especially vitamin D as low levels of that can cause widespread pain. You need autoimmune conditions to be ruled out first before doing anything else imo.

Once you have had blood tests taken start taking over the counter Vit D. 1,000 units is maintenance level so you will need at least 3,000 units daily for a month (Boots, Superdrug etc), and see if that helps.

I have found glucosamine tablets have helped my "old person" pain dramatically. You need to take 1500 dose daily and if there is no change after a month then you don't need them. For comparison I can tell after 3 days if they are working and if I forget two doses I struggle to get upstairs. Boots or Holland&Barrett sell the higher doses but supermarkets sell the 750 doses. Warning, they are made with shellfish so don't take if you have that allergy.

Edit - btw I had the same symptoms as you to the point I could only go upstairs shuffling on my backside due to the pain, now I walk up them. I had very low vit D, and three autoimmune diseases (they like company).

The other problem is I have had depression and needed SSRIs in the past, and again I think that makes them look at you differently when reporting physical problems. I've had it specifically when trying to get my kids looked at for things, they put it down to 'anxiety' and start head-tilting and asking me how I'm coping rather than actually look at/refer my kids. I very VERY rarely take my kids, or myself, to the GP, so it's not that I'm worried well. I do think that both the MH and the obesity really affect how HCPs see me, and how seriously they take me.

A few points which have been made by previous posters but are worth repeating

Get out of the flat shoes. Some good supportive trainers eg Asics would be much better. Doesn’t have to be a fancy brand but something with a shaped footbed and good support round the foot. Laces.

A scooter for the school run? Can often get cheaply secondhand.

If it is something like rheumatoid arthritis then a) there is medication as a pp said and b) coming off sugar and wheat will help SO SO much (with the side benefit of losing weight). I understand the bingeing is hard to overcome. Can you stop buying dairy milk, mini cheddars, haribo so they aren’t in the house (I don’t buy biscuits). Can you try to find a different treat that isn’t inflammatory- cheese, salami, fancy fruit that is just for you? Or a non food treat like nice moisturiser or a massage ball - something to reach for instead of the snacks. Would knowing that the snacks are linked to the pain help you stop??

Probably not what you want to hear but it could well be the weight. I suffered from both plantar fasciitis and knee pain when pregnant/post partum & heavier. One physio explained the extra load your knee takes on when you’re heavier was magnified so even with a little excess weight your knees will take a lot more strain. Realistically with the level of pain and 2 young kids no point in saying exercise so try to focus on your diet for a kick start. Meanwhile get on the nhs physio waiting list it might take a while but worth doing. Even if weight loss doesn’t help your pain you’ll probably feel better for it. Good luck!

I have osteoarthritis and scoliosis, most of the time I'm fine but when a flare up happens I make sure I do some of the very gentle exercises for sciatica.

They really are stretches and I do find a difference. A foam roller may also help. I also take a few supplements recommended by my doctor, which are you help joint pain.

I have plantar fascilitis and its a bastard. I also put on weight suddenly in my 30s during a very stressful period, that has shifted my normal and wont come off. Im now 5ft 4 and 12. 1/4 stone, so overweight but not huge huge. And sorry to say I do think it could be a connective tissue problem. I get knee pain and hip pain and all kinds of inflammatory stuff. My weight gain was due to primary lymphodema, which was triggered by fuck knows, but that is an inflammatory disease (unlike secondary which is usually due to cancer treatments or surgical damage) might be worth checking if you have lower leg/foot swelling at all, and if it pits (ie you press it and it stays indented for longer than it should) as its manageable if not treatable.

the plantar comes and goes. But insoles (superfeet were the ones that saved me) and arch support was crucial. I wear birkenstocks at home, never walk barefoot. The arch support then makes sure that my knees and hips are more in the correct position too, so that has a knock on effect with pain there.

Hi OP, I had plantar fascitis and it is so painful. As others have said stretching the back of the legs by hanging your feet off the stairs really helped. Also, and very strangely, rolling a can along the floor with the instep was a big help.
I found that a supportive trainer made a huge difference. For the first pair I went to a running shop for gait analysis, but now I know what I need I get them from an outlet shop.
If you decide to go for a keto diet message me I have so many recipes that can be adapted so that non keto eaters can enjoy and you can cut out carbs. DH is a regular keto diet and I'm not much into meat 😁