I am in SO much pain. Surely this can't just be because I am fat?

[herewegoroundthebastardbush]

This is really a question either for the medical or for my fellow fatties - I'm 5'6, about 14 stone (😬) and 39. I used to be around 10 stone. put on a lot of weight very rapidly about 5 years ago when my mum died, and ever since then have struggled with binge eating and the weight has continued to creep up.

So the past 6 months or so, I'm in horrible physical pain much of the time. It started with my knees, which have never been great since I went through a phase of running to work on concrete in my 20s (idiot). But now it's not just the odd twinge, I'll be literally limping and whimpering and climbing the stairs is murder. I've also developed a horrible permanent pain in my right foot which the internet tells me is plantar fasciitis. And I can't ever seem to get comfortable in bed as whichever way I lie seems to pull the base of my spine out of alignment and it feels strained.

I have a busy life, two small kids and one is at nursery and the other at school, so every day after work I have to do a very brisk march march up the road to nursery and then turn and walk very fast back to school to get the eldest (about 40mins fast walking - or jogging if im late!) all told. I've started to dread it with a mortal fear as I am in SO much pain - some days I'm literally limping and gasping with it, but I can't stop because obvs then no-one would pick up my kids (partner has the car as works in a different city). That's the low point of my day, but just getting out of bed and standing up in the morning is horrendous too, it hurts so much and I literally limp like a comedy pirate for the first 20 mins of the day my foots so bad.

The one time I went to the GP about my knees, she did the head tilt and talked to me about my weight (didn't even examine my knees), and that aches and pains are more frequent as we age so its important to take care of our weight to reduce that. I agree I am too fat and need to lose weight. I am trying. But I see people far fatter and older than me who don't seem to be in total agony as they walk around!? So is this normal and fixable by losing some weight? Or is there something I should be worried about?

The OP has been listening and come up with an action plan.

Do you and the poster you quoted have a parent with Rheumatoid Arthriris and Crohns? The OP does and therefore is at a higher risk of an autoimmune inflammatory arthritis which if it is the case is unlikely to resolve by weight loss alone and will most likely need a disease modifying drug .

you’re better off being skinny so you can disappear into the invisible over 40s (now 50s) brigade much quicker

I don't get this, what does being skinny have to do with an "invisible over 40s brigade"?

Who knows, I suppose if you have more bulk, you’re easier to spot?

It's because I get to sit in an office alone a lot and noone will catch me out. That simple. When my partner goes away I tend to binge at night once the kids are asleep too ☹️

I actually like my job and colleagues... Which has not always been the case!

Thank you. I've always had bingeing tendencies, even as a small child. Used to sell my toys to kids in primary school so I could buy and eat tons of chocolate. Steal change I found lying round the house. Always at times of stress. Have fallen back on it from time to time into adulthood. Interestingly, the only times I HAVEN'T binged at some point have been times I've lived alone (very rare) so when travelling, in halls at uni (did two degrees so that happened twice). I think due to my childhood I find living with others quite stressful.

That’s quite extreme for it to start so young OP, have you had any help with your binge eating?

OP, I haven't read the full thread but I have read your posts; apologies if this has been said already.
When I was in my teens/20s I suffered from bulimia and went on some horrendous binges. The physical and emotional feelings around a binge are very clear in my memory and if you've never been there I think it's hard to understand. The secrecy, guilt and shame were a huge part of it. I managed to get good support from a psychiatric nurse and dietician. I hope you don't mind me sharing some of the things that helped - acknowledging these may not be things you want / are able to do at present.

• They had me keep a food and feelings diary - not just writing down what I ate but how I felt at that time. I found that hard to do as I couldn't always identify how I felt before a binge, it was often boredom. It did help me identify trigger points to some degree
• I was given a meal plan with 3 good sized meals and planned snacks. These weren't particularly strict about dictating what to eat but had plenty of food from all groups and the intention was to be comfortably full and satisfied after a meal. Even if I binged I was not to skip meals as it sets up a binge / purge cycle. It was ok to eat a bit less but I had to stick to a routine
• If I felt the urge to binge there were a few strategies - one was to tell myself I could do it, but I had to wait 5 minutes; building up to 10/15 etc. If I still wanted to at the end of that I could. Often I didn't, sometimes I did, but it gave me back a sense of control over things. Another was to get all the binge foods together on a plate / tray first - this did help too strangely, again I felt more in control and gradually able to cut back

This was years ago and it's possible that advice has changed. I genuinely found these things helped me - alongside the psychiatric support to work on self esteem issues. I wish you well in finding solutions that work for you as you don't deserve to be unhappy or in pain x

No none. I have an appt next week to discuss with a GP - hopefully they can help me!

Sharp pain.

This message for people who keep mentioning age as a factor for painful joints. I developed Rheumatoid Arthritis at 39, my friend developed it at 21. Now I know that these are autoimmune conditions, so can develop at any time and our author sounds like she has Osteo Arthritis, but please let’s not keep saying “ooh, you sound a bit young for that”. Thanks!

Hi OP, I developed bad pain in my bones, started struggling with my normal mile and a half walk to work. Literally had to keep stopping. I felt exhausted and really low. Was just working and sleeping (badly). , My GP tested my vit D and it was very low. I've been taking supplements for about 4 weeks and I feel like my old self. Most of the pain and exhaustion is gone. I'm walking briskly to work instead of hunched over and hobbling. Because vitamin D is stored in fat, if you are overweight and live in the northern hemisphere in winter, you are almost sure to be deficient. I had no idea of how bad this could make one feel. GP has advised that I stay on supplements all year round now, albeit it a lower dose after 6 weeks. Vitamin D is cheap and cheerful at most supermarkets so worth a try in case it's that.

Losing weight will indeed reduce the problem a bit. I was in pain most morning getting up as I was obese, my legs were painful but now that Oki habve lose weight it is better, I am still overweight but not bad. It is so hard to lose weight. Best of luck

@ErinAoife not everything is black and white. I have a BMI of about 30, I walk tons. I didn't have issues with pain in bones, joints and muscles until the last year or so when I have been in pain, exhausted and really struggling mentally. Vitamin D supplements have resolved these issue to the point where I'm pretty sure by Christmas they will be completely gone. I am fat and walk tons but neither of these things were the cause of my pain. I was deficient in vitamin D. Losing weight would have made b**r all difference!

Of course it’s not black and white. Some overweight people develop joint pain that resolves on weight loss, some have joint pain with a different cause that is not impacted by weight loss, and some overweight people have no joint pain.at all.

None of us know what category the OP falls. I would start with a MRIs of her knees to check them. If there’s no wear and tear, weight loss may help her.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that if my GP had dismissed my symptoms as weight related instead of properly investigating with a range of blood tests, I would still be suffering. I was literally contemplating retirement as the pain and exhaustion was making everything such a struggle. In a million years I would not have thought about vitamin D deficiency as the cause.

Your Plantar fasciitis may be causing all of this, OP, because you are probably putting your body out of kilter by compensating for the pain when you are walking…
Try some corrective insoles to relieve the pain in your feet (get the Dr to check which type of pronating - inwards or outwards - you have, then order the correct type from Amazon).
For your lower back pain, try turning your thighs and knees in towards each other while lying on your back in bed (walking awkwardly can cause the hip joints to misalign, causing the lower back pain in your sacroiliac joint).
Finally, try this NHS Pilates video for knee strengthening (other YouTube videos are freely available - there are loads for knee pain relief)
Good luck for a speedy recovery!

Hi, your post could’ve been mine. Every detail including back pain in bed. The only difference it isn’t my knees but my bones in my lower leg.
I bought some shoes from Clarks for work, what a difference they made. They are called ‘Mazy Hyannis’. They aren’t available anymore. I know I’ve tried to get another pair. The thing about them is they have an ‘orthilite sole’ which is essentially a shock absorber and the wedge is made from Eva. I have better days with these. I have also started swimming. Going hard and fast to try and raise my heart rate to lose some weight. It improves blood flow to your limbs. Also massaging my feet and legs every evening before bed.
good luck

As a fellow chunky i can honestly say that yes the weight can cause pain in joints, especially knees, hips, feet and spine. I was thin and had none of the issues i have now (all in weight bearing areas). Plantar faciitis i also have and found that weight makes it worse but is more down to the shoes (also known as postmans heel) i find i suffer the most in ballet pumps or flat hard soled shoes. It's the pounding of the sole against the hard surface that kicks off the inflammation. Sketchers gel memory foam trainers are a dream for it!! Really soothe it and heel stretches. The extra weight will make it worse but not cause it.

Also i hate to say it but 39... Unless you keep yourself in tip top physical health you are now on the creaky achy slide. Im early 40s and 39 was definitely when i noticed the bones and joints not feeling like they did.

So good supporting shoes for the feet will also help the knees and spine. I would also see a chiropractor incase your spine is mis aligned. But again - weight will mean it doesnt rest comfortably in bed even if re aligned. Stretching exercises are a must daily for the whole. And yes loosing the weight (which at our age really doesn't want to be lost!) will help massively. Otherwise you'll be looking at hip and knee surgery and arthritis far younger than normal.

Christ, you're a nasty, judgmental cretin.

Why not go and find somewhere your bile is wanted?

I had a long chat with my psychotherapist this week. She went from being an athlete to ME . Athletic days over. Worked with her horses as well as working full time and raising children.

Then fibromyalgia struck. She accompanied her horse and rider in an all terrain mobility scooter.

Her advice to me was don't look back at who you were and what you could do in the past. Live for today.

She said if I overdo it then I will have two bad days.

What I need to do is divide my day into tasks for me she suggests three. So say I hoover through then I must rest.

Then perhaps make beds, tidy bedrooms sort washing put in machine and rest.

Third task prepare dinner she suggested a tall stool on wheels to scoot around the kitchen to protect my back.

Then relax.

I do my exercises after a shower in the morning and before bed. The routine seems to help.

So remember to set aside what you could do once and work with what you have now

Sorry meant physiotherapist