I am in SO much pain. Surely this can't just be because I am fat?

[herewegoroundthebastardbush]

This is really a question either for the medical or for my fellow fatties - I'm 5'6, about 14 stone (😬) and 39. I used to be around 10 stone. put on a lot of weight very rapidly about 5 years ago when my mum died, and ever since then have struggled with binge eating and the weight has continued to creep up.

So the past 6 months or so, I'm in horrible physical pain much of the time. It started with my knees, which have never been great since I went through a phase of running to work on concrete in my 20s (idiot). But now it's not just the odd twinge, I'll be literally limping and whimpering and climbing the stairs is murder. I've also developed a horrible permanent pain in my right foot which the internet tells me is plantar fasciitis. And I can't ever seem to get comfortable in bed as whichever way I lie seems to pull the base of my spine out of alignment and it feels strained.

I have a busy life, two small kids and one is at nursery and the other at school, so every day after work I have to do a very brisk march march up the road to nursery and then turn and walk very fast back to school to get the eldest (about 40mins fast walking - or jogging if im late!) all told. I've started to dread it with a mortal fear as I am in SO much pain - some days I'm literally limping and gasping with it, but I can't stop because obvs then no-one would pick up my kids (partner has the car as works in a different city). That's the low point of my day, but just getting out of bed and standing up in the morning is horrendous too, it hurts so much and I literally limp like a comedy pirate for the first 20 mins of the day my foots so bad.

The one time I went to the GP about my knees, she did the head tilt and talked to me about my weight (didn't even examine my knees), and that aches and pains are more frequent as we age so its important to take care of our weight to reduce that. I agree I am too fat and need to lose weight. I am trying. But I see people far fatter and older than me who don't seem to be in total agony as they walk around!? So is this normal and fixable by losing some weight? Or is there something I should be worried about?

People don't like the 'lose some weight' suggestion because it takes a bit of effort and isn't an instant quick fix handed over by someone else. Sometimes the things in life that will help us the most aren't handed to us on a plate, but they're worth it.

I could have written a lot of your OP - it's so super difficult.
I am obese (size 20/22), and 5'6", but am 46. I don't binge eat, but do have disordered eating, in that I'm bad for eating my dinner late, because of long work hours.
I also need a knee replacement (acknowledged by Consultant, but too young, even if I wasn't too fat), and have had three spinal surgeries over the last 6 years. My weight began to creep up when I was desperately trying for a baby with my exP. We went through lots of fertility treatment, and unsuccessful IVF. I then went into early menopause at 41/42. I think a mixture of the spinal fusions (and related medications), the hormones, and being really fucking depressed about it all, have contributed to the weight gain.
I swim 4 or 5 times a week, use the gym, and do yoga/Pilates 3 times a week. The weight just isn't coming off. I'm in chronic pain all of the time, and use a stick to walk. I don't have solutions for you, but I do want to sympathise with you. It's no life at all.

Tell me you didn't read the full thread without telling me you didn't read the full thread... Also tell me you are here purely for the trolling lols...

I am? Really??? You don't say. Thank God you came, there was me thinking being 14 stone was totally normal.

I've read all your posts.

And you didn't see my big list of things I'm going to do (several of which I have already done) as being 'me doing anything to help myself'?

Seriously. What bitchy pleasure are you and the other poster getting out of the 'you're horribly fat, just lose weight, simples' tough love wankathon? Because it certainly isn't going to get me anywhere, so I certainly hope it's doing something for you.

You obviously can't see the wood for the trees, you need to lose weight or you won't get much help from the NHS.

I know. Which is why I have an appointment with my GP on Wednesday to talk about how the NHS can treat me for my (apparently non-existent AFAYC) eating disorder so that I can lose some weight. Seems reasonably 'helping myself'-y to me...

I had what I think was PF a couple of years ago (I’m the same size as you ) and it really was debilitating. I was a hardcore converse and flip flops fan, but they give no support. Physio/podiatrist advised proper trainers (ASICS kayano- I get mine in the sale) and supportive slippers or shoes for around the house. There are loads of exercises on YouTube if you can’t get to a physio, but I didn’t do that much. Just supportive footwear was enough to sort me out, I’d say it’s a start!
And yes get back to the GP with the attitude of a rich old white man!

I know it’s hard in our society but we really shouldn’t feel shame for putting on weight and people needn’t be nasty, it could be them next! There are so many reasons for it, and we’re still humans with a right to live pain free. For more self love look up Big Fit Girl and Bodyposipanda 😁

You know it's so simple when you think about it and money saving. A full MRI from toe to head. Analyse the results for feet, ankle, knee, hip, spine issues. If it's arthritis anywhere treat this, if I'm just a fat sod straining my joints tell me.

An MRI at the Spire cost me £600. I took the full report provided because I paid to a physiotherapist who's treating me.

I can't get reports from the NHS here even though it's my body they've scanned because it's a secret. I can't even see it myself. It's bloody nuts.

@herewegoroundthebastardbush dmed you.

What are @privateano and @hjytrjulykuyh getting out of being so nasty to OP? This site used to be so supportive but now I think people are really fucking brave to ask for advice on any personal issues on here as you always get people coming along being absolute tossers just for the sake of it. There's no need for it. OP already said she has made a start on trying to ask for help. Why the need to then come along and berate her for not doing what you've decided she should be doing or for not doing it quick enough for your liking? Or for pointing out how much extra weight she's carrying. SHE KNOWS! It's so hard to ask for help, especially for issues where GP's are notorious for just fobbing people off

And saying "binge eating disorder" as if you don't believe it is so fucking rude. It's a serious debilitating mental illness, not just someone eating a few extra biscuits for fun

GPs in Wales are rationed drug and referral wise, so obese, smoker, pensioner, are quietly marked down. Leaving referrals for healthy employed. Which is logical if not palatable.

I've no idea how it works in England, Scotland, northern Ireland though.

I’ve had a lot of foot/ankle problems- I too was a stupid runner in my twenties! Recommend ibuprofen gel to control inflammation, then Tom Morrison (physio, strength coach) free vids to strengthen.

can actually get better v quickly, good luck

Extra weight can cause joint pain.

I got all my issues aaway with a Bypass surgery. BEST thing I ve ever done. Knees pain, foot electricity, sometimes couldnt walk. I was 16 st and same height. hypertension, PCOS, psoriasis, aLL KINDS OF PAINS. all gone 6 months post op. WEIGHT is a silent killer. and you wont note any difference with a few kilos off, you will see it with a huge amount.

I got awful knee pain when I got PF which is excruciating. I bought some amazing gel soles and a support sock from Amazon; The Plantar People. Also bought some FitFlop slippers, relief from all that pain is glorious

To help myself I don’t buy anything I shouldn’t eat and the rest of the family have to follow on the same lines. The cupboards are empty and I walk to the shops every day. It’s the only way a manage.
If the family want treats, that would have to happen with your partner, without you, in another place. Would the NHS accept hypnosis? I know someone had it to cure smoking, many years ago.

What you need first of all is for your GP to take bloodsamples. Yes, I think your weight is the mayor culprit but whát exactly of your weight problem is causing so much pain? Is it your kidneys malfunctioning? Your sugarlevels? A lack of certain vitamins? Or your iron levels? You can't know untill bloodtests are done! So threaten your GP to come back every day with or without an appointment and have him/her do those tests!!!!

GPs are inclined to blame everything on weight. Told me for two years my knee pain was 'normal wear and tear'. Turned out to be a torn meniscus. After the op I had loads of pain - I was stiff and sore, and needed to stretch more, but also needed guidance about what to do for the best. I know you said you are pretty broke, but the money I spent on the oesteopath was the best money I have every spent.

That’s awful to be in so much pain and I am so sorry. There are a lot of helpful suggestions here, including footwear and going back to the doc.
Be very very careful of taking anything with opioids in it. Although a low dose, they are still potentially addictive and horribly constipating.
Although I’m lucky, and have never put a great amount of weight on, my weight does fluctuate and being in my late 60s I have developed a bit of rather uncomfortable disc disease. It’s really obvious to me that when I’m at the lighter end of my weight range my back doesn’t give me too much gip. When I’m at the heavier end, my back can be quite seriously painful. Weight is definitely a factor. I hope you get to the bottom of it!

Inflammation in the body caused by stress, dietary factors like alcohol,sugar,processed foods etc can make these things worse in my experience. Are you rundown? There is obviously more strain on knees if one is carrying more weight. Plantar fasciitis might resolve itself on its own. Yes it's scary getting your feet on the floor first thing in the morning and facing this horror of not being able to walk properly. . Perhaps it will resolve in time. But one needs to be proactive to tackle the other issues. Non weight bearing exercise like swimming, Natural anti-inflammatory foods, perhaps regular massage, or anything like stretches etc to manage stress and pain. Supplements like glucosamine. These are just ideas to look into. It's not easy but hope you can focus on your body's own needs and will feel better from your efforts.

I have two young kids and I'm fatter than you and was around 13/14 stone before kids and never have issues like this, how old are you? Definitely see gp and gets xrays

My GP referred me to Slimming World - I got 12 weeks free. There is a woman in the group I go to (it was so helpful I continued to go) who had a binge eating problem. She got great support from the leader and is now very open with the group. I wonder if that could give you some of the support you so obviously need.

BTW - I am a therapist. I know what you mean about your post that they only care about your problems because they are paid to. But really, if that was the only reason I did the job, I would not have lasted past the first year (20+ years on now). However, you are right they are not a substitute for personal support. You dont want the be the person who only sees your friends to moan (so it is helpful to have times when you dont talk about your problems with them) but why are in you ok with a marriage where your DH is no support to you?