I am in SO much pain. Surely this can't just be because I am fat?

[herewegoroundthebastardbush]

This is really a question either for the medical or for my fellow fatties - I'm 5'6, about 14 stone (😬) and 39. I used to be around 10 stone. put on a lot of weight very rapidly about 5 years ago when my mum died, and ever since then have struggled with binge eating and the weight has continued to creep up.

So the past 6 months or so, I'm in horrible physical pain much of the time. It started with my knees, which have never been great since I went through a phase of running to work on concrete in my 20s (idiot). But now it's not just the odd twinge, I'll be literally limping and whimpering and climbing the stairs is murder. I've also developed a horrible permanent pain in my right foot which the internet tells me is plantar fasciitis. And I can't ever seem to get comfortable in bed as whichever way I lie seems to pull the base of my spine out of alignment and it feels strained.

I have a busy life, two small kids and one is at nursery and the other at school, so every day after work I have to do a very brisk march march up the road to nursery and then turn and walk very fast back to school to get the eldest (about 40mins fast walking - or jogging if im late!) all told. I've started to dread it with a mortal fear as I am in SO much pain - some days I'm literally limping and gasping with it, but I can't stop because obvs then no-one would pick up my kids (partner has the car as works in a different city). That's the low point of my day, but just getting out of bed and standing up in the morning is horrendous too, it hurts so much and I literally limp like a comedy pirate for the first 20 mins of the day my foots so bad.

The one time I went to the GP about my knees, she did the head tilt and talked to me about my weight (didn't even examine my knees), and that aches and pains are more frequent as we age so its important to take care of our weight to reduce that. I agree I am too fat and need to lose weight. I am trying. But I see people far fatter and older than me who don't seem to be in total agony as they walk around!? So is this normal and fixable by losing some weight? Or is there something I should be worried about?

I have osteoarthritis and my joint pain, particularly my knees and feet, has been as crippling as yours OP, for many years. Osteoarthritis doesn't get better but losing weight IS sometimes the solution. I almost wanted it to be something else but it wasn't and I had to face that I was the one making it worse. Worn down knees and feet just can't support an excess of weight.

Losing weight has made an incredible difference in my joint pain. I still have limitations but I feel so much better. The other thing I have noticed is the effect of sugar on my joints. Something I had never given much credence to because 'dieting' never really lasted long enough. My knees are so much worse when I have a lot of sugar. Didn't stop me bingeing but I knew and the inability to help myself just made the vicious cycle continue. Mornings are still hard and if I sit for too long I hobble around for ages when I get up.

I've had PF as well in one foot. Excruciating. I would do the frozen bottle for pain relief but it still seemed to take ages to go away. I'm not saying that your pain isn't from something else as well but I am saying that you CAN be in that much pain and have weight be the contributing factor

Maybe your knees are sore because the muscles in your thighs aren't strong enough. Do they turn in a bit? Do some clams every day and squats but if they are too painful then do cycles with your legs in a lying down position.

I second the people saying to try to give up sugar. If it is auto immune then sugar is very inflammatory.

A lot of the language you use is very defetist. I know it's tricky navigating the NHS at the moment but can you not see another Doctor at your practice? Or I found those online forms helpful because I could detail everything in advance and just have a phone appointment to get a referral. They have special counselling for eating problems and if these referrals will take a while you may as well start trying now.

Thank you for your post. Scooter wouldn't work for nursery run as youngest is two and still needs to go in pram for us to go fast enough to get her sister when afterschool club finishes at 4.30 (I finish work at 4, Google Maps reckons it's 25 mins walk t nursery then 18 from nursery to school - I do it in half an hour, and that includes listening to nursery staff giving me update on toddler's day which I DO want to listen to but OMG SO LATE 😬). I suppose I could scoot from work to nursery and then fold it and put it under pram for walk to school?

I did go through a phase of flipping my bingeing to cheese, nuts and tangerines, which for some reason seemed to hit the same spot psychologically as the crap. Only problem is (a) more expensive and (b) really brought on my HSV, which is usually in abeyance thank God as it's just one more way to feel shitty. And really i just need to stoppit. It is hard.

I do feel like this pain has tipped the balance in my mind though. Bingeing was basically a quick fix that enabled me to self-treat my mental health problems, to function in my life, for my kids, until now. If the weight/inflammation from it is now rendering me ineffective like this, it is definitely time to make a change, it isn't doing its job any more. I can't parent well, it hurts too much and being in pain makes me grumpy and sad.

I’m fat (16st), mid 50s and have recurring plantar fasciitis. I used to have knee pain but it cleared up when I sorted out my shoes. I use Hoka trainers. I use insoles in my other shoes. These are great https://www.amazon.co.uk/PRO-11-WELLBEING-Metatarsal-Fasciitis/dp/6040791632/ref=sxts_rp_s_a_sp_1_0?content-id=amzn1.sym.f84819a4-07b1-4706-b2d1-d0dcd86c3a96%3Aamzn1.sym.f84819a4-07b1-4706-b2d1-d0dcd86c3a96&crid=2OABXM6AP4X0G&cv_ct_cx=pro+11+wellbeing+insoles+plantar+fasciitis&keywords=pro+11+wellbeing+insoles+plantar+fasciitis&pd_rd_i=6040791632&pd_rd_r=12f7421d-2553-44dd-b3e7-7d7949629493&pd_rd_w=oHgCm&pd_rd_wg=RqbZ1&pf_rd_p=f84819a4-07b1-4706-b2d1-d0dcd86c3a96&pf_rd_r=T6ENCEX608NCE7Z58S7X&qid=1701165640&sprefix=pro+11%2Caps%2C102&sr=1-1-3e71b174-79f6-4f59-86e0-8355a51fbb63

I think you could have Rumertoid Athritisis or another type of Athritis

I have Rumertoid and OestoAthritis ,

You need to have a blood test for to diagnosis this @herewegoroundthebastardbush

I can totally understand why you struggle with unhealthy eating issues,
losing your mother and comfort eating to deal with this heartache 💔 ,

I think looking into good bereavement Therepy could be beneficial to you,

It's all very well your Doctor pointing out the obvious that you know of, that weight issues can create other health issues too,
but the issue factor behind your unhealthy eating patterns that triggered , needs to be considered too,
which is obvious your loss of your mother's
A Holistic approach

I understand as i know in our western society ,
we are expected to be like robots,🤖
our normal natural feelings are dismissed,

we are often conditioned, our feelings gaslighted as society can't deal with discomft of bereavement ect,

no wonder we comfort eat when we struggle to handle stuff like this we turn to comfort eat,
to sooth our troubled souls.

often we have to deal with heavy difficulties with inadequate support ..

I'm much shorter than you, similar age, and a similar weight (had an illness that put me in bed for a year but have never been average weight) and I don't have any of those issues. I get a bit of backache or leg ache sometimes if I've been on my feet a lot but that's it.

So I would say that doesn't sound right at all and you need a second opinion and for someone to actually take you seriously. Probably not a GP tbh.

I’m fairly overweight and have had PF on and off for years. I swear by decent cushioned trainers. As previous posters have said pop them in as soon as you get up and never walk around barefoot. I use crocs indoors but although they are very cushioned they may be too loose to support your feet initially.
Try Skechers D’lux - they’re not too pricey if your not too fussed for colour you can get fur circa £40 on Amazon.

I hate to say it but it very likely is your weight-you can’t underestimate the damage it does to your skeleton, but please hear me out….

I went through similar to you with the bingeing and huge weight gain, and if I wasn’t bingeing on food, I was almost (within safe limits) bingeing on painkillers for painful knees, and shoulders, and I was starting to feel it in my hips too.

I have more than halved my weight over the past couple of years and am pretty much pain free apart from the occasional twinge in one of my knees, and I mean twinge, not the debilitating disabling pain I used to have, I’m pain free.

Im in my early 50s

I hit a certain weight and suddenly had horrendous plantar fascitis and joint pain. I lost 8kg and it went. I'm still way too heavy but there does seem to be quite a specific load that my msk system is happy to take 🤣 maybe worth chasing a referral but taking the weight side of things seriously in the meantime. It was just so miserable. I couldn't do the school run on foot because it was so sore I had to start driving which compounded the issue!

One of the mums at my children's school became very obese and as such developed severe jpint pains.

I cured my plantar fascilitus with a steroid injection. It needs to be guided into the correct spot by ultra sound. I paid privately. The first one I had by the gp, where he just guessed, didn’t work.

In my twenties, I put on a lot of weight. I was in constant pain in my hips and knees. I lost the the weight in my early thirties. The pain went and never returned.

Thank you so much for this - I appreciate the advice and the empathy so much. I hope your knee is getting better now after the crunch!

In the meantime, I found a slight heel on boots which supported the ankle, was much more comfortable than flatter trainers or shoes. Heel probably an inch and a half, was the best size for me.

Go and see a physio, it'll be about £70 depending on area and half that for following appts but you'll probably only need a couple of spots. They are very good at referring you back to the GP ,they have magic eyes and it's like they see right inside you to see what the problem is.

It's very lazy imo for the GP not to examine you and blame it on your weight. I've recently lost nearly 4 stone and it's made no difference whatsoever to my knee pain, when I do my physio exercises it helps though.

Random thought - have you recently come off the pill? Are your periods regular and 'normal'?

I had months of on/off pain in my knees and feet in the early stages of premature ovarian failure. I had a normal BMI.

Hello, OP @herewegoroundthebastardbush

I think your weight probably isn't helping - I got plantar fasciitis myself when I was 14 stone, largely because I was trying to do something about it and running/doing aerobics!

What I would advise is gentle exercise - restorative yoga perhaps now, and walking, when you recover from the pf, which can take about 12 months. You can get plantar fasciitis insoles from Amazon for about £8 a time- they helped me enormously when I had it back in 2016/2017. I've not had it since - yoga has helped a lot plus losing some weight.

I'd focus on diet - not that is this the best time of year for it, but making long term sustainable changes and no crash diets. I've no affiliation but Nutracheck is a really good app for recording everything you eat. Even if you don't feel like cutting back just now it will give you a good idea where you might be going wrong. Just recording everything as honestly as possible makes a big difference for me.

I've been going to the gym regularly now for 12 months, and have focused on diet since September and have lost a further 1st 3lbs, so am 12st 3lbs now. I have to say though I was fit at 13st 6lbs, now being BMI 26 instead of 29 has made everything so much easier.

There is a nice supportive group in the weight loss area here I can recommend. I think most of us will be carrying on in the New Year. My goal is 11st. You can see my stats in there, I was 14st 9lbs at one time and have managed to lose weight in peri-menopause. I'm 5'7" so only an inch taller than you.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/weight_loss_chat/4897972-2-stones-off-by-christmas-a-thread-for-those-with-quite-a-lot-to-lose?page=9&reply=131056716

I am sorry to read of all the pain you're suffering. Your comments about your GP are so familiar, I read this kind of thing all the time, and it isn't just from women with weight issues. It sucks but you have to be stronger with your GP, and perhaps if possible move to another because the system you have to use is ridiculous. At your weight you can get help from them, both with binge eating which I recommend talking to your GP about even if uncomfortable because the help is there, and with your plantar fasciitis. There may be a wait fora referral though, so I also suggest going on to YouTube and trying some of the solutions from qualified professionals. Taping your foot can help a lot, and so can daily morning exercises before you even put weight on your feet. Your issues with pain may be auto immune, but your weight could be the issue. The fact other posters of similar weight don't have that problem doesn't mean you don't, as excess weight is known to increase the risk of plantar fasciitis and of knee and other joint pain. I know it's hard to discuss some things with a lot of GPs who seem to have almost no ability to actually make their patients feel better, but they are there to help us and sometimes we need to insist. You don't need to live in pain and its such a common thing to put up with it because our GPs make us feel like it's all our fault. Binge eating is a disorder, and you deserve to have professional help to recover from this. Good luck :)

When I said you hadn't taken anything on board, I meant the fact you do need to see a dr.

You've written an essay almost on why it's hard to get an appt.

Yes, it might be, but without blood tests and maybe X rays, you don't know what's wrong with you.

But you've also been very negative and your 'belief' is they won't help you (because you're fat.)

Other posters have suggested how to fill in the online form.
Top of that list should be

1 I need a blood test for RA as my Mum had it and now I have symptoms.
2 I need support with weight loss as I binge eat and want to stop.

If they call you to arrange an appt, keep your phone with you at all times - work and home- so you don't miss the call.

I know none of this isn't easy but you don't really have an alterantive if you want to get better.

Plantar can develop from running and walking regardless of weight. It is really painful. I suggest going to a GP walk in centre and getting someone to have a look. It's all very well telling someone they are overweight but I feel that this was an opportunity for your GP to help you with your weight. I get annoyed when I hear people like you who acknowledge a problem want to do something about it but aren't given encouragement and help. I wish you well OP.

As i say I'm worried about becoming dependant. But I am going to go out and get some today, as I need to be able to function and today I am not - I was literally in tears on the sofa in front of my kids this morning after walking down the stairs. I cannot let my children be affected by my various illnesses. It's always the spur that actually causes me to do something - same with my mental health breaking down - when I stop being able to parent effectively, that's when I am actually able to take some action. Unfortunately, all the actions I have been able to take on all fronts so far have been temporary and survival-based rather than transformative - counselling, SSRIs, and now pain relief. I do need to do something more transformative, deeper therapy to deal with my MH/BED, and some proper exploration of my physical problems and treatments. Trouble with all those things is money, but I suppose if I can find money for all my crappy junk food, I can find money for some therapy and a new pair of trainers.

If there's any chance you could have RA you need to take this really seriously and go back to the GP and start being very firm about proper investigations.

Just take some anti inflammatory meds and some paracetamol at the very least.

"PRO 11 WELLBEING The Titan Orthotic Sports Insole with Dual Shock Balance Correction and Rigid Support Base for Over Pronation and Plantar Fasciitis (10.5/12 UK): Amazon.co.uk: Fashion" https://www.amazon.co.uk/PRO-11-WELLBEING-Correction-Pronation/dp/B00LUS95FC/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?crid=3F31JR2CWBASJ&keywords=insoles+for+plantar+fasciitis&qid=1701167810&sprefix=insoles%2Caps%2C171&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9waG9uZV9zZWFyY2hfYXRm&psc=1

Something like these won't break the bank. I've a puppy who keeps eating them though 🙈 so I bought four pairs this time

OP i am so horrified at many of the replies on here. Women being ignored when in pain it seems is a deeply rooted problem. Were you not aware that all this would go away if you would only wear different shoes, eat more greens, less sugar. More make up. Jesus wept.

My husband had similar symptoms. Turned out he had osteo arthritis in his hips nothing wrong with the knew they were the first thing that was hurting him due to the problems in his hips. Needed surgery and pain management. You need an MRI scan and a full exam by a specialist. Your GP needs to refer you. You are far too young to be experiencing this kind of abnormal pain. I am shocked at the way your serious symptoms are being diagnosed and dismissed in this way. It is just sexism.

Would you be surprised to know that when my husband went to the GP they referred immediately and did not dismiss him in any way.