sister copies everything i do

[cherrylemonapple]

got engaged, she got engaged a week later
booked my wedding, she booked hers for the month after and bullied me into changing mine because it was too close to hers despite me having booked first
i got a tattoo sleeve, she’s started a sleeve despite showing zero interest in tattoos beforehand
i got a specific piercing that is not ‘common’, she now wants it
i liked 2 particular music artists that she actually took the piss out of me for liking when we were younger, she’s now obsessed with them and buys all their merch and goes to their concerts then dangles the tickets over my head like she’s won some prize because she knows i can’t afford them
finally - i have a degree, graduated last year but waiting until baby is old enough to be in nursery full time to start my next qualification. she has now applied for an entry level of that field

i know im being petty but im fucked off. i actually feel like cutting her off at this point, everything i do she seems to feel a need to find a way to do/like the same thing

You need to pretend to like things…. Let her spend money on crap! Stop telling her about things. You can’t stop her copying you.
She obviously envies your style or what have you, maybe can’t come up with her own ideas.

You should not have changed your wedding. That was ridiculous.

Lots of siblings end up in the same field. You are choosing to delay getting the next qualifications.

Everything else is petty. From both sides.

One of my friends is just like this. After talking to my husband he said I should take it as a compliment. I think that's what you should do too. She clearly thinks you're doing everything right. Of course don't change your wedding date etc but maybe just look at it from a different perspective. That might help x

She's locked into some sort of sibling competitive rivalry thing.

You need a third party to speak to her about it - someone willing to ask her why she is competing with her sister instead of doing her own things.

Buy a huge fake tattoo..
Try on a wild wig and claim it's your new 'do'..
What about a new religion that doesn't allow alcohol?
Backpacking holiday booked...

Stop telling her what you are doing, or make shit up so she does random stuff.

Why did you change your wedding?

You are the one who chose to move your wedding — I mean, it was a strange decision, but yours. No one can force you to change a date.

And the other stuff sounds standard enough — tattoos, bands, a degree?

because my parents sided with her because she has extreme mental illness and said they wouldn’t go if i didn’t change it. i ended up thinking screw the whole thing and eloped instead

but it’s not standard when it’s everything i do. she absolutely hated the bands i liked and literally laughed at me for liking them and is suddenly is obsessed with them?
and the degree too - she has a degree and masters in a completely different subject and a very well paid job, so why suddenly copy the subject i’ve worked years towards?

I think the fact she has an extreme mental illness is relevant.

She probably looks up to you and is envious.

Buy a wig. Nothing too outlandish that makes it obvious, but a very different style and colour to your current look. Once she’s copied it, get rid of it and laugh at her gullibility.

I remember a thread on here, where the poster put some leaflets on emigrating to Australia in her bedside table, knowing her mother-in-law would see them. This is something you could do!

She'll be after your partner soon

by extreme mental illness i more mean she threatens to k herself if she doesn’t get her way. suppose i should have worded that one differently

@wizzywig all good, he can’t stand her 😂

My first inclination was to advise you to tell
her you were having Donald Trump tattooed on your left bum cheek, but maybe that wouldn’t be fair.

She sounds like a colossal prick. I’d consider reducing contact.

Well that's a but of a drip feed that she has a severe mental illness - if your together and collected then not surprising she is copying you.

I would throw in some random things you couldn't give a crap about and see if she bites.

Don't tell her (or your parents ( as much.

😂😂 imagine!

i am, honestly i’m at the point where it’s getting really irritating. i just want to be my own person i think part of it is ive struggled so much with my identity since having kids and now i feel like im starting to become myself again she’s just copying every move i make i hate it

Have you asked her? Why does she copy you?

Does she have low self-esteem? Emotionally unstable personality disorder?

Ultimately, it does sound better to be you than her. So do try and not let it get to you.

@MessyClock i haven’t because she’s the type of person who will go crying to my parents even at her grown age, at which point they’ll argue with me because they prioritise her feelings everytime etc. just don’t have the energy for it

Can I ask how old you both are?

Her music taste changing doesn't seem like a huge jump.

That sounds like very hard work. I think you need to just now say very very little to her and your parents and keep your distance from her. There will be nothing gained for you by a big falling out.

Put her (and by association, your parents) on an information diet, so she has no idea what you’re planning on doing. Otherwise, as pp wrote, give wrong information so she thinks she’s copying you-nice prison tat on your face? Getting horn implants on your forehead? Buying some extremely poor taste items? Moving to Australia is an excellent one!