When did your kids write their names ?

[wroting]

I'm feeling the pressure to teach my DD to write / read.

She'll be 4 in January. She's clearly my first child as I'm sure I won't be fretting about this with my second.

Where should she be, academically now ?

I want to make sure she has a good start when she starts school.

What did you focus on with your child, for them to have a good start in reception ?

When are they ' reception ready ' ?

She's holding the pen a bit better ( I've been trying for ages to show her how to hold it ). She can trace her name, but can't write it on her own yet. She can trace squiggly lines etc.

She recognises most letters and numbers. She can do a bit of addition and subtraction with blocks etc.

She can draw a person.

What can I do at home to get her ready ?

She's at a preschool nursery 4 days a week. But I want to be proactive.

I'm afraid / aware I sound like a dick probably and this is PFB syndrome or however you call it, I'm just anxious not to be missing the boat.

Her teachers haven't flagged anything that she can't do. I want to have a consecration with them about how she's getting on in those areas.

So far they've just talked about the fact she is settling well and happy and has friends, that kind of thing. Nothing ' academic ' yet. I know she's still so young of course.

Chill out. They'll teach her at nursery. You should concentrate on her emotional development. Having fun with her. Not fretting about holding a pen. Sure fire way to put her off anyway.

She’s three. She should just be playing. Plenty of time to read and write later.

I'd say my boys can do it if I spell it out. So I'll say write Steve and Steve will do it if I spell it out. If I tell the other to write Dave it's hot and miss but he can he just isn't always inclined. Get Z backwards, and of course S.

Nursery should be doing phonics with her. Currently in maths they're practising counting up and down to 20, that's about all I know.

I'm sure pre school will be helping her on track. It feels like no time at all, especially as you've just our will soon be filling in forms for primary but they come on a lot in the next 8 months

Give her lots of cuddles and help her feel secure in her home. A place she can be free to be herself and have fun. A place of comfort so when school gets too much she has refuge.

A little older than 3.5 but I'm a teacher and she liked that sort of thing and was starting school at just turned 4. If you're going to teach her, make sure she's forming letters correctly and has a capital letter at the start, otherwise it's almost better to not do it at all. I'm always quite shocked at how many parents write their own child's name without a capital letter. It's hard for children to unlearn.

Thanks. Like I said, I'm aware I'm a dick.

I was telling mother in law how much fun she's having at her pre school.

She literally can't wait to go in and doesn't want to come home !

She absolutely adores it. She has so much fun. They do so many activities etc.

I was telling MIL yesterday that she goes swimming, to Forrest school, does baking and so much art work etc and how happy she is.

She was like, well are they teaching her writing as well then ?

It made me a bit paranoid I guess.

DS is 4 next week. He can recognise his name but has no interest in writing any letters. We have done a bit of phonics, he likes the songs but I’m not convinced he remembers the letter shape they go with. (I would say don’t teach the songs unless you know which one the school use - I already know as he has a big sister).
For school readiness in my experience it is more important that they can toilet independently (& remember to wash their hands), eat unassisted, put their own coat and shoes on and off, and change into PE kit.

OP I am at a similar stage. DD is 4 in March and has been at preschool nursery since April. She too can't write her name (it's quite long) and to start with I was a bit nervous that this wasn't the norm because I kept hearing about kids her age who could, but when we recently attended parents evening her teacher had no concerns. It really set my mind at ease.

The teacher told me at this age it's not all about what they write/draw but about getting the skills ready, so she explained they do a lot of play including the pincer grip (like picking things up with tweezers) to get that skill practiced ready for holding a pen.

After school and at weekends, we play. Sometimes a natural "lesson" will come up but other than that, I try not to push anything.

Cross posted. Don’t let MIL get in your head. Given her birthday is January she’ll be months older than some of the kids she starts school with. And some kids start school not speaking English, never mind being able to write.

Her enjoying herself and feeling confident in a new environment without you is a great skill to be learning right now.

DC the same age as yours exactly can do simple counting to 10, draw very basic faces and has started writing their name very rudimentally, older DC was about the same at this age. It's more important that they're learning the skills which will help them learn all of the reading/writing/numeracy once in school - strength and dexterity in their hands and fingers (playdoh and drawing!), social skills etc. You and she are doing great, let her enjoy preschool and don't worry about where she should be right now! If you teach too much she may have to unlearn it in reception.

DD1 (now 19) was a January baby and started school at 4.5. She was one of only 3 kids in her entire P1 class who could write their names before they started school. The rest all learned there fine. And I'm sure plenty of those kids stayed on and went to uni, my DD left at 16 to go to college then dropped out of that course.

So please stop stressing, it'll be fine and she'll learn in time.

My son couldn't recognise most letters or hold a pen properly before starting reception in September. Now he can pretty much read and write. Please don't waste your precious time with her on things they will do to death at school. At this stage the best way to ensure she gets the most out of her education is to foster curiosity, an inquisitive mind and an eagerness to learn. Lots of exposure to new experiences, lots of reading to her for pleasure, lots of creativity, love and fun! Follow her interests amd dont worry about what others are doing. I get the pressure, i felt it too but I'm so glad I went with my gut feeling on this and didn't push academic stuff before school started.

Three.

My daughter was 4 in September she can recognise her name and write it however struggles with 's' and 'e'. She can copy words if you write them in front of her but actively won't choose to write words other than her name. Nursery was really supportive however he new nursery is too but they have a much more relaxed approach which I like. I got her a writing book online and when I have uni work to do we do some "homework" together and she does some of her letters. We've tried with the reading but she'd rather not do it and I'm not overally stressing about it yet

Ignore MIL.

My eldest learned at preschool I'm pretty sure. She could certainly make a reasonable go of it by the summer, she just wasn't particularly willing to do so! They get there when they're ready.

My DS2 is the same age - he goes to a very child led/forest schooly type nursery and can't write his name but can recognise the first letter of his name as well as a few other letters.

I am not worried about it/feeling any pressure, but I also have a DS1 who went to the same nursery and then caught up very quickly at school and has always at been at expected levels or greater depth now he is at school.

Three year olds don't need to be able to write. She is mark-making so she'll be well able to learn to write when she goes to school.

I have worked in early years for a large part of my career so this is my specialist subject!

You sound like you are a great mum and there is no harm in wanting her to do well, but she is 3, there is lots and lots of time for formal learning.

To be ‘reception ready’, assuming no SEND, it’s really helpful if they can:

Recognise their name written down
Undress and dress independently if they are going to a school that changes for PE
Sit and listen to a story with good focus

There’s more, obviously, but I think those 3 are key. With regards to writing and phonics, if you are doing bits with her at home, please don’t teach her to write in capital letters- lots of parents do and it’s a pain to undo. Also, bear in mind that if she doesn’t have the fine motor skills yet, making her hold a pencil and writing her name is not actually that helpful. Do lots of fine motor and pre writing activities like drawing in sand or foam with her fingers, using tweezers (you can get toy plastic ones) to pick up things (there’s a fun game you can get to play on Amazon to do this), threading, any kind of drawing/mark making.

But most importantly, let her be little. Read to her lots, let her lead how much/if any ‘formal’ stuff she does. It sounds like her preschool is great.

She will also be one of the slightly older children with a Jan birthday which does usually help.

Both just turned 4. They learned the phonics sounds first before attempting to form the letters.

Lots started reception class unable to do this.

DC1 could write her name at 3 but it's only 3 letters long, so I think she's at an advantage.

Don't worry about it. They come on leaps about bounds once they're in reception and you'll probably find that they teach things much differently to how you learnt at school aswell. I went to 2 phonics meetings before I understood it properly 😂
As a PP said, I'd focus on making sure she can go to the toilet independently, do her coat up, eat with cutlery, put her own shoes on, etc. The rest will come.

Dc1 age 2.5, dc3 age 6 !! Dc3 has by far the best writing now 😁

DD1 they taught them all to write their name in preschool (age 3) by every time they did any art work, the teacher wrote their name in yellow and they were expected to trace over the top. I expect this is frowned on now, but it was very effective - never knew any of the children, including a couple with learning difficulties, who didn't fail to learn to write their name within a year.

DD2's name was spectacularly easy. She was also never going to be outdone by big sister and could write her name at 2yo. But it you think of the easiest name ever to write, hers was probably easier. 🤣

Ds did not see the point in writing at all. He was at school I think, after a lot of effort on his teacher's part, and he complained that I hadn't called him "Sam" (his friend) because it was easier to write. At 16yo he still sees no point in writing unless he has to and I'm not sure he's totally forgiven me for not calling him "Sam".

They did fairly similarly in GCSE English.
Don't worry about it. It's useful if they can recognise their name, but no need to write it unless she's interested.

In our school what they really wanted them to be able to do in preparation for reception was:

Put their own coat on
Put their own shoes on
Change into their pe kit and back into their uniform
Wipe their own arse

Mil are always question our parenting ignore her

Do lots of fine motor and pre writing activities like drawing in sand or foam with her fingers

This is one approach but doesn't build strength.

Chuck away the felt tips & playdoh, they require no resistance.
Use jumbo chalks, crayons and colouring pencils instead of felt tips. You have to press harder and use your muscles more.

Use plasticine. Its firmer than playdoh so gives your fingers a real work out. It also is great for water play, and when using more than one colour it doesnt all merge into grey/brown.

Give her an old spray bottle to water plants. Squeezy ball popper toys are also great for hand strength.