To end the marriage?

[Lovespam]

I really need some advice!

So basically i have asked my husband to leave as the resentment became unbareable. He questioned why i wasnt being affectionate anymore and I had to tell him that I was no longer in love with him, on the back of that he decided to go out until 5:30 in the morning, when he came back I was up with our son as he wasnt well but he just went to bed (probably wise)

We had such a great relationship before we had children, but since they came aling it made me realise how selfish he is. He works until 8pm mot nights and then plays sports 3 nights a week, has numerous season tickets and goes out whenever he liked. I felt like a prisoner to his schedule ans enoughwas enough.

Im really worried why the kids havent asked where he is and given the choice fhey would still prefer me to put them to bed etc. I asked him how he was andhe said he is doing great as I no longer have any expectations of him so dont moan.

I am gutted but also relieved, gutted that it wasnt better!

When you get back into dating again it might be worth going for a different and more sensible type of man next time rather than the party animals

I think you should fight a bit to keep your marriage I think you forget how simple men are in their needs. What he won't respond to is telling him he is a failure and not loved. Tell him he is important to you and the kids. Tell him that you value him. And he will act valued. I've found out, mainly through watching others, that men are very scared of failing and all they want to hear is that they are wanted. I know you might want to vomit but...that's what they are like. I used to think punishing them would work...nah they just went and some other woman picked them up and told them they were great and they were. I always thought men just went off women/wives. No, I don't think so they just want to feel needed. big time. The relationship is still there somewhere.. and kids grow up really fast...I think you might be throwing the proverbial baby out with the bathwater.

No that is load of rubbish, I dont have anybody telling me how great I am and I still dont opt out of my resbonsibilities.

I have tried for 6 years to make this right and he still blames me for not showing him love. Not giving a toss about mine or the kids needs.

Agreed OP. I spent twenty years bigging my H up, praising him for every little effort he was making towards our family otherwise he did sweet f all. Ended up walking on eggshells and drained due to him being an emotionally stunted, abusive tosser. Nobody praised me for rearing single handedly two wonderful daughters, or cleaning, decorating and maintaining a house and large garden whilst suffering from two different disability conditions.

You are worth so much more.