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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To stop potty training for now?

33 replies

Aerialturns · 27/11/2023 08:28

Posting for traffic as need to make a decision …

DS will wee if you tell him to sit on the potty , lots of praise. But without prompting him to sit on the potty he just wets himself, there’s no ‘I need a wee.’

I am not really sure what to do because he just doesn’t seem to be getting it.

OP posts:
wherethewildtbingsgo · 27/11/2023 08:31

Stop and start again when he understands more. I've been there- it's easy when they are actually ready.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 27/11/2023 08:32

How old? How’s this speech. He need to connect the potty to the feeling of needing a wee. When you first start don’t expect a child to just tell you, look out for cues. Stick him on the potty in the morning, before you go out and eventually the connection wil be made.

DisquietintheRanks · 27/11/2023 08:32

How long have you been trying?

DisquietintheRanks · 27/11/2023 08:32

And how old is your child?

Original poster
Aerialturns · 27/11/2023 08:35

Thanks, he’s nearly 3, speech is pretty good.

I have been putting him on it every time we go out etc and he will wee but then by the time we get to where we’re going he’s often wet. I’ve been trying to put him on it every half hour but obviously that’s not really sustainable.

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 27/11/2023 08:35

I believe that potty training is about control. Little ones need to understand the urge to go and that only comes with time.

My DS was nearly 3 when he was potty trained. I kept a potty knocking around the house and he would sometimes sit on the toilet but never used it. At kindergarden he would use the toilet.

Then one day it just clicked. He had a wee in his nappy and couldn't bear it. He was then dry and clean day and night.

I would stop potty training for a while.

Bibbitybobbitty · 27/11/2023 08:37

Lok at the ERIC website for tips. Sounds like you are in the preparing for toilet training stage, nothing wrong with continuing to pop on potty/toilet before bath, bedtime etc but continuing to wear nappies until child is truly ready to toilet train fully.

Original poster
Aerialturns · 27/11/2023 08:37

OK thanks so you would continue to put him on the potty but have pull ups rather than pants?

OP posts:
user1471538283 · 27/11/2023 08:38

I see he's nearly three. It's common for boys to train later. I don't think it's a case of him adding the potty and needing to go up. He hasn't got to the point where he knows he needs a wee yet but it will come soon.

Original poster
Aerialturns · 27/11/2023 08:38

How do you mean there @user1471538283 , sorry?

OP posts:
MaryShelley1818 · 27/11/2023 08:39

At age 3 I would persevere, that should be old enough to grasp needing a wee if NT. Some children just take a little longer than others to get there. Try a couple of days in the house with no pants/clothes on bottom half, lots of reminders to try, Chocolate button reward every time.
DD2.5 has literally mastered it overnight and is dry 24/7 however DS was almost 3 and took much longer.

Original poster
Aerialturns · 27/11/2023 08:41

He does wee without trying all that hard on the potty. The problem is as soon as you’re away from the potty he’ll just wet himself. I think that’s what’s not really happened yet, he cant or won’t seem to ‘hold on’ at all. And I’ve no idea what I’m doing!

OP posts:
DisquietintheRanks · 27/11/2023 08:42

Def no pull ups, he needs to feel the connection bw weeing and being wet.

If I were you I'd keep going. Just pot him regularly then slowly increase the gaps.

Marshtit · 27/11/2023 08:42

you need to spend more time at home i think
regular reminders.
pull ups may be helpful

user1471538283 · 27/11/2023 08:42

I just meant that my DS was in nappies. At kindergarden he would follow the others into the bathroom and wee (staff took his nappy off) but at home he didn't. He would just sit on the loo doing nothing.

So I kept him in nappies. Then one day he had a wee in his nappy and I could tell by his face he had thought he had wet himself and he was upset. So he stopped wearing nappies.

It sounds like your DS hasn't got control yet. But he will.

Marshtit · 27/11/2023 08:43

praise him with new big boy pants

HAF1119 · 27/11/2023 08:43

I'd continue for now at least, if you work out a bit of a pattern for how long until next wee needed etc you can start to put him on regular. When accidents happen get him to help put them in the washing and just talk nicely about how next time we'll do it in the potty or whatever.

BuffaloCauliflower · 27/11/2023 08:43

Currently in this process with my just turned 3, we’ve been a bit stop start for the last month at least and he’s only just started taking himself to the potty sometimes, mostly we prompt him. All my friends with same age little ones have said they’ve needed prompting for a while before they start to get it themselves. Not a reason to stop.

MilkChocolateCookie · 27/11/2023 08:44

How long have you been trying? My DS had lots of accidents for the first 7-8 days and then got the hang of it. Personally I would persevere.

Original poster
Aerialturns · 27/11/2023 08:45

@user1471538283 mine happily sits on the potty and has a wee and is proud when he does, we give him lots of praise. But then wets himself without regular putting on the potty. I get what people are saying about stay in the house but nursery is a 15 minute drive and we have to go out eventually so then what?

OP posts:
Original poster
Aerialturns · 27/11/2023 08:46

I’ll keep trying, just feel guilty as he cries when he’s wet and cold.

OP posts:
Greendoorsaremyfavourite · 27/11/2023 08:48

We were unsuccessful on our first attempt so stopped, tried again a couple of months later and he was dry (during the day) within a couple of days. Had a couple of accidents at nursery for the first couple of weeks, but that mostly happened when he was distracted/playing.

BuffaloCauliflower · 27/11/2023 08:49

Give it another week and see. But don’t worry about pants at nursery for now, just do pants and potty at home and pull ups when you’re out for a while.

Marshtit · 27/11/2023 08:49

i would ask the nursery how he is coping there

BuffaloCauliflower · 27/11/2023 08:50

We did try earlier in the summer and he clearly wasn’t ready. Now even though he’s not asking for the potty he has very few wee accidents, he’s holding in between. (Poo is another matter but everyone says this takes longer to get)

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