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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To know on the wall to let the neighbours know...

56 replies

Celticliving · 26/11/2023 23:45

  • KNOCK ON THE WALL. BLOODY FAT FINGERS.

AIBU to let the neighbour know that I can hear them?

Hear me out. I'm not a prude, honest.

For months, I've been puzzled by random shaking in my flat. Seriously, the whole flat (top floor of a town-house) would shake. Sometimes for quite a while. Considered that it might be large lorries driving past, earthquakes, trains, etc. I was always in the lounge when this happened.

Then one day it happened when I was in my bedroom. It was accompanied by some very loud groaning from my neighbour - and I suddenly realised what it was.

It's happening quite frequently now. At least once every other day. Very loud. Lots of shaking. It was ok before I realised what it was.

I've tried ignoring it. But I can't. I literally can't block it out. It's also bringing back some very unpleasant memories.

I know I can't do anything. But I'm struggling.

OP posts:
CatSighs · 27/11/2023 00:18

Write a note to your neighbours and explain that you can hear them in the bedroom and you just wanted to let them know that the sound insulation isn't very good. I wouldn't sign it personally, because I think it would make things awkward whenever I saw them. I think this is one occasion when an anonymous letter might be more tactful!

CatSighs · 27/11/2023 00:24

Just re-read your post...I'd assumed that you had a couple living next door to you, but it sounds like your neighbour might be enjoying his (or her) own company in this situation? If this is the case, it somehow makes it more awkward...maybe you can word your note as if you believe it to be a couple..."Hi neighbours! Just to let you know, I can hear you in the bedroom! The sound insulation isn't very good in these flats. Please could you keep it down? Many thanks - your neighbour". Best to keep it light and breezy, I think.

Original poster
Celticliving · 27/11/2023 00:30

CatSighs · 27/11/2023 00:24

Just re-read your post...I'd assumed that you had a couple living next door to you, but it sounds like your neighbour might be enjoying his (or her) own company in this situation? If this is the case, it somehow makes it more awkward...maybe you can word your note as if you believe it to be a couple..."Hi neighbours! Just to let you know, I can hear you in the bedroom! The sound insulation isn't very good in these flats. Please could you keep it down? Many thanks - your neighbour". Best to keep it light and breezy, I think.

Yep, I think it's just one person.

I hate to spoil anyone's fun.. but it's kinda creepy when it's happening..

OP posts:
TerrysChocolateOrange · 27/11/2023 00:32

The best reply I ever saw was on here years ago.

Just to let you know…………..

Garden waste collection comes on Wednesday…

Normal waste collection comes on a Thursday.

BTW, you come, far too loudly and far too often………😂😂😂

Takeaseat · 27/11/2023 00:32

We have very noisy pipes that run up the walls and into the roof. They bang and make weird sound anytime someone uses their boiler. Could it possibly be this?

Original poster
Celticliving · 27/11/2023 00:34

Takeaseat · 27/11/2023 00:32

We have very noisy pipes that run up the walls and into the roof. They bang and make weird sound anytime someone uses their boiler. Could it possibly be this?

Not unless the pipes scream "Oooohoooo'shuddershudderOMGshuddershudderMMMFFffffdurghhhhhOMGshuddershudder"

OP posts:
Original poster
Celticliving · 27/11/2023 00:35

TerrysChocolateOrange · 27/11/2023 00:32

The best reply I ever saw was on here years ago.

Just to let you know…………..

Garden waste collection comes on Wednesday…

Normal waste collection comes on a Thursday.

BTW, you come, far too loudly and far too often………😂😂😂

Oh help 🤣

OP posts:
CatSighs · 27/11/2023 00:40

Out of curiosity, is the neighbour male or female?

Original poster
Celticliving · 27/11/2023 00:43

CatSighs · 27/11/2023 00:40

Out of curiosity, is the neighbour male or female?

Male.

I think I would be just as uncomfortable if it was a woman, though, tbh.

But either way, I'm finding it rather triggering. Trying not to let it get to me.

OP posts:
AtrociousCircumstance · 27/11/2023 00:44

When it happens pretend to be on the phone and say really loudly “Oh hi mum sorry I think my neighbour is watching a really weird film right now…I can hear some very odd sounds….”

or “Hey officer I can hear some very odd noises coming from my neighbours house, can you advise?”

Really loud. Next to the wall.

hoobanoobie · 27/11/2023 00:58

Use the bottom of a can of hairspray to bang on the wall at an angle. It's very loud and resounding. Even my half deaf neighbour can hear that when her tv volume is deafeningly loud. Do that every time for about a week. Interrupt him. If he carries on then I'd be shouting stop wanking so fucking loud I'd have to say something face to face. Dirty bastard. He can wank his hand off but there's absolutely no need to be loud.

OnlyTheCrumbliestFlakiestChocolate · 27/11/2023 01:04

Celticliving · 27/11/2023 00:34

Not unless the pipes scream "Oooohoooo'shuddershudderOMGshuddershudderMMMFFffffdurghhhhhOMGshuddershudder"

Show quote history

He isn't on his own then. Who screams when they are w*king?

Pinkpinkpink15 · 27/11/2023 01:06

@Celticliving

why is the neighbour wanking so 'triggering'

OnlyTheCrumbliestFlakiestChocolate · 27/11/2023 01:09

@Celticliving you shouldn't have to do this but for tonight maybe some cotton wool in your ears? Or Bio Ears?

CatSighs · 27/11/2023 01:12

If you are familiar with his "timing", you could try playing (very loudly) a nice piece of classical music that reaches its, er, peak at around the same time that he does. Karl Jenkins' Palladio would be good for this, I think - it peaks at about 3.20 minutes. Play it every single time and he will soon take the hint.

Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin's Je t'aime would also leave him in no doubt that you know what he's up to, but you might find all their sighs and moans a bit disconcerting - it isn't exactly subtle.

HirplesWithHaggis · 27/11/2023 01:19

The 1812 with cannon, surely?

LaurieStrode · 27/11/2023 01:21

HirplesWithHaggis · 27/11/2023 01:19

The 1812 with cannon, surely?

Lol, perfect.

Badgrief · 27/11/2023 01:22

I would want to let the neighbour know that the sound insulation between the flats was poor, perhaps play music or a blog in your bedroom loud enough for them to hear? Hopefully embarrassment will quieten them without you having to raise it directly

sweetpickle23 · 27/11/2023 01:30

Who wanks so loudly/forcefully that it causes an entire flat to shake?? Surely that can’t be all it is.

BlueEyedPeanut · 27/11/2023 01:32

"Oooohoooo'shuddershudderOMGshuddershudderMMMFFffffdurghhhhhOMGshuddershudder"

People don't talk when they're on their own. And wanking doesn't make the bed shake, never mind the whole house.

expatricia · 27/11/2023 01:35

I'm going to go against the grain and say I would not want him to know he could be heard in case he gets off on that idea and actually gets worse. I don't know what the solution is though, I'm sorry OP, that really doesn't help, I know. At any rate I'd want someone else to do the complaining, not me.

AllTheChaos · 27/11/2023 02:02

I’d be tempted to shout out scores. Stuff like “8 out of 10 for effort, but sounds like someone’s faking it”

Gabiabbi · 27/11/2023 02:08

Your neighbour wanks so hard you mistook it for an earthquake? 🤔

WandaWonder · 27/11/2023 02:11

I would stick an postcard in the letter box blank on one side the other a picture with 'the walls have ears' as a caption

Geppili · 27/11/2023 03:14

@Gabiabbi 🤣😂🤣

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