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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU TO KEEP £17?

44 replies

roofusdoofus · 26/11/2023 11:57

I recently had a friendship breakup, but the breakup was a long time coming! We fell out many years ago until she apologized and we rekindled, but the same issues kept occurring if not worse and I eventually decided to call it a day between us. She’s not a very nice person and more recently I discovered that she’s actually a bully prompting the breakup.

I was on her car insurance and everytime I used her car (a total of three times), I would fill the tank up and buy her a coffee to say thanks. One of the first things she said when we did fall out was that she’d take me off of her insurance, which I had absolutely no issue with as it made sense.

I paid to go on her policy (£64) and her insurance company advised due to a rate change that there’s £68 due back to her policy, that they put against her direct debits. I asked her to transfer me £60 and she decided that she was going to kick up a fuss with her Insurance company because she wanted the refund to be returned by card and not direct debits, she said she wanted to speak to someone more senior and kept ignoring their callbacks.

To cut a long story short, I got tired of begging her for the money back and sent her a final message today. She responded that she’s tired of me hassling her (I’ve only messaged her twice for an update) and that it’s not fair on her because this doesn’t benefit her only me (despite her being the one to remove me from her policy).

She sent me £60 and then said I’m only due £42.17 pro rata back despite the insurance company advising £68 was due back in total due to a rate change. She then asked me to send her £17 back but instead I have blocked her on everything.

My only issue is I have tickets on her sisters ticketmaster account belonging to my parents (she had artist presale and we didn’t) that can’t be transferred yet and I do worry she’ll try change the password or cause hassle, but she knows they’re my parents tickets so I’m hoping she won’t!

AIBU?

OP posts:
PurpleFlower1983 · 26/11/2023 11:59

You all sound far too involved in each others lives. Why would you get money back from
her policy?

strawberry2017 · 26/11/2023 12:01

For the sake of the tickets give her the £17 back

roofusdoofus · 26/11/2023 12:01

I paid £64 to go on it and they’re issuing a rebate of £68 by removing me from it. There was a rate change which is why it’s slightly more due back than what I originally paid.

OP posts:
cardibach · 26/11/2023 12:02

I’d send the money I think. You paid for the insurance, sure, but you have also had some use of the car. To get (almost) the full amount back is a lot.

roofusdoofus · 26/11/2023 12:03

I used it three times, with her, she was in the car each time - I never used the car without her!

OP posts:
Mothership4two · 26/11/2023 12:05

I would send the £17 telling her you are only doing it to keep the peace (or whatever) only to protect your parents tickets.

Sunshineclouds11 · 26/11/2023 12:05

you need to pay it back in my opinion.

your basically getting a full refund for being insured, doesn't matter how many times you drove it or if she was in the car. it is pro rota you'd get back so i'd transfer it.

OhNoOhNo · 26/11/2023 12:06

I paid to go on her policy (£64) and her insurance company advised due to a rate change that there’s £68 due back to her policy, that they put against her direct debits. I asked her to transfer me £60

I highly doubt the rebate is due to you coming off her insurance.

When I’ve removed people from my insurance, my insurance has gone up.

How many months were you on her insurance before she removed you?

I think YABU to expect the full rebate.

She was very honest to tell you there was a rebate due, she could have just kept the money. And if it’s due to a rate change, maybe she never owed you any money.

You sound quite grasping, OP.

Have your parents paid for the tickets?

roofusdoofus · 26/11/2023 12:06

The company didn’t refund it pro rata though, if they did I’d accept that.

OP posts:
CacenCaws · 26/11/2023 12:07

You both sound as petty as each other tbh. But I would pay the £17 back so that she's not tempted to mess with the tickets

OhNoOhNo · 26/11/2023 12:07

roofusdoofus · 26/11/2023 12:06

The company didn’t refund it pro rata though, if they did I’d accept that.

How do you know what the company has done?

You need to buy your own car and insurance and not stress your friends over £60.

Sunshineclouds11 · 26/11/2023 12:08

roofusdoofus · 26/11/2023 12:06

The company didn’t refund it pro rata though, if they did I’d accept that.

might not of been because you came off though, rate change etc. a lot of reasons.

Mothership4two · 26/11/2023 12:08

Quibbling over £17 is petty. Pay it and never have anything to do with her again.

betterangels · 26/11/2023 12:08

Send her the money to avoid issues with the tickets.

Neriah · 26/11/2023 12:08

Gosh this all sounds very petty. But how many times you used the car is not relevant - this was the arrangement you came to, you owe her some money back and you don't want to pay it. But you think that she should care about what she / her sister owes your parents?

OhNoOhNo · 26/11/2023 12:09

I would fill the tank up and buy her a coffee to say thanks.

So you were happy to pay for up to £60 of petrol each time plus coffees and yet you’re quibbling over the rebate now?

Just see the £17 as compensation for wear and tyre of her car and tyres and pay her back.

TurkeyTrotToXmas · 26/11/2023 12:10

She didn't need to tell you that there was any refund due. 🤷🏻‍♀️ And as there are tickets on someone else's account that haven't transferred over I'd transfer over the £17. It's money you weren't expecting anyway.

yarnwitch · 26/11/2023 12:11

If she was in the car with you each time you drove it, why were you driving and paying to go on the insurance? Surely she would have just driven her own car?
I would pay her the £17 back and call it quits.

roofusdoofus · 26/11/2023 12:11

£17 sent back!!!!!

OP posts:
OhNoOhNo · 26/11/2023 12:12

roofusdoofus · 26/11/2023 12:11

£17 sent back!!!!!

Good!

I would tell her you’ve transferred it and tell her sorry for any confusion.

DoooooWhoop · 26/11/2023 12:35

Wow what a load of worry and fussy potting pottiness over 17 potty pounds.

ManchesterLu · 26/11/2023 12:46

Pay it back. It's not yours. For the sake of peace and sanity, just pay it back.

Aprilx · 26/11/2023 12:46

roofusdoofus · 26/11/2023 12:03

I used it three times, with her, she was in the car each time - I never used the car without her!

The majority of car insurance policies are primarily based on the passage of time, low mileage may be a consideration, but that is factored in when the policy is taken out, not retrospectively based on how many times you drive the car.

So yes I think you do owe this money and yes, I would not be surprised if she blocked the other tickets in response to you blocking her. You both seem unbelievably childish.

LiquoriceAllsorts2 · 26/11/2023 12:56

You probably wouldn’t have even got the 43 from you coming off the insurance as they likely would have charged an admin fee so more of it is probably due to the rate change.

you owe the money and hassled her about money that probably wasn’t yours. You should pay her.

Pumpkinspice13 · 26/11/2023 13:00

He long were you in the insurance policy for? It makes sense to me that you wouldn’t get the full amount back of you have been on there for a few months