hello,
had a crap few weeks at work and just really needed to let it all out.
im young, female and working in a job where I have a relatively senior position but still very much at the bottom of the hierarchy IYSWIM- eg trainee lawyer (not the same job but very similar so ill use it as an example) My colleagues are fab and I really enjoy my job although its been a huge learning curve but im loving it. But there's one collegue in particular who I've had a few run ins with and it recently came to a head and I just feel so crap about it all
The collegue in question (job role of receptionist/ assistant) is loud, very extroverted and very popular and actually a nice person sometimes but notoriously speaks badly to younger females- especially new trainees.
Nobody has ever taken it further or pulled him up for it, its just been the way that when he gets the remotely bit stressed or flustered he takes it out on the younger female trainees, eg if they ask him to book a meeting which is well within his job description, he will be fine when a senior man asks him to do it but when we ask him to do it he gets really aggressive. I get on SO well with everyone at work and never, ever look down on anyone, but he seems to have a bit of a personal thing where he dislikes younger female trainee professionals- its a pattern that's apparently been going on for years. I am never ever disrespectful to receptionists or assistants- they are the backbone of any firm and I go out of my way to always try and be friendly and polite. But he has continually treated me badly since I started and I bit my tongue until now because I absolutely despise confrontation and im usually a crier, but it happened again 3 weeks ago where I was shouted at and spoken to like a piece of dirt- all in front of clients which is not only hurtful to me, but obviously incredibly unprofessional. All because I was told by my senior to ask him to book something for a client, which is his job, so I asked him politely if he wouldn't mind please booking it for XYZ and thank you very much!' he lost his shit and was shouting at me and waving his hands and telling me to do it myself because he was having a cup of tea. It doesn't sound it, but it was incredibly aggressive. he went on a 2-3 minute rant shouting and waving his hands at me. I finally found my backbone and stood up to him (later obviously not in front of clients) and told him NEVER to speak to me like that again, and that it was incredibly unprofessional and I would be taking it further if it happened again. It was awkward and I could tell he was angry that I actually stood up to him. He has completely blanked me since.
but the general attitude from his friends, which are the majority of people there is that 'this is just how he is' etc and im 'taking it too personally.' My friends at work are fully on my side as many of them have experienced similar in the past, but its made work so awkward now and I sort of wish I hadn't said anything now.
sounds a bit daft, but I did the right thing standing up for myself didn't I? it wasn't nasty or bullying for me to do so? I didnt shout, swear or wave my hands in his face. I just looked him dead in the eyes and said do not EVER speak to me like that again. just worried about it now and this is my first job so im still finding my feet with it all!