To be surprised DS knows about sexuality?

[Moisdrol]

I was chatting with DS, 7, earlier this afternoon and we were talking about his friends in school and he mentioned that he thinks his friend is a lesbian because he caught her looking at Millie Bobby Brown on Google images twice. I was quite surprised by this because I or DH have never mentioned anything about sexuality before (not that I have a problem with him knowing about LGBT topics). When I asked him why he thought she might be a lesbian he just said because he thinks she has a crush on Millie Bobby Brown. I never knew about sexuality at 7 so I’m really surprised by his peers knowing about it. I’ve also heard kids in his class using bad language which was shocking to me. Is this common??

They teach sexuality in school under PHSE, they used a penguin story to my year 3 child to talk about homosexuality, quite a cute story. Personally I think it's too young.

I was quite surprised by this because I or DH have never mentioned anything about sexuality before (not that I have a problem with him knowing about LGBT topics).

I bet one million pounds you've discussed sexuality. It's just that you've only ever discussed heterosexuality and therefore don't recognise it.

Talk about all relationships in your home.

Why is it too young? Do you think it is too young for them to know about romantic relationships at all? Should they still think mum and dad are just good friends? Or is specifically gay romantic love you think they shouldn’t know about? Why? Genuinely, why? I don’t understand what the difference is. There isn’t anything wrong or weird about straight love or gay love. So why shouldn’t they know about it? Can you actually articulate what you think is wrong with gay people that it should be hidden from children? Do you think it does damage? Do you think they’ll “catch” gay? What is it that you are worried about?

Heterosexuality is a type of sexuality. Is she surprised her child knows boys can have crushes on girls and vice versa?

I don’t think it’s surprising that by 7 a child would have seen and understood that same-sex relationships exist. My son is 3 and knows that our friends Robert and Chris are married to one another and that his Auntie Cara has a girlfriend. It’s just normal for him, he doesn’t question it.

Talk of having a crush seems young but does he really know what he’s saying or is he repeating something he’s heard? Why are they using google without adult supervision? That bit is somewhat age inappropriate imo.

I don't understand why you would equate knowing about different types of sexuality with him hearing bad language. What has one thing got to do with another?

I was aware of sexuality at that age and that was 27 years ago now. It's not something that was commonly talked about but I was definitely aware of it probably from TV and classroom chat moreso than anything I'd have heard at home.

Even before the internet we knew about it when I was his age in the 80's. Kids are sponges and pass info along to other kids.

We didn't have sex ed when I was in primary. I thought I was just odd and that there was something wrong with me for liking girls.
I think it's great if kids don't feel that way anymore.

WARNING! Graphic content of school books in the US. I'm not sure about the UK.

I think many parents would vw shocked at what they teach in schools these days. Even primary. Let's hope it's not a bad as the US. They teach sexul parts, sex acts of all combinations, and how to pleasure yourself and others. Its truly quite shocking. I don't understand the sudden desire to sexulise how children think.

My DS is 8 and has always been aware of sexuality ie couples can be a man and a woman or two men or two women rather than the actual having sex part, partly because the 2 men next door got married the week after he was born. Has your child really never met a gay person?

This point of view is genuinely terrifying to me @Kwer

I remember listening to a old story read to the class by a teacher in primary school thirty years ago, when I was about 6 years old, which contained the word "gay".

The teacher explained that in this story gay meant happy, not the way we use the word now.

I remember knowing exactly what she meant.

So I'm really not surprised that a 7 year old in 2023 knows about different sexualities.

I will always remember wgen my cousin was about 10:11 and he described someone as ‘an absolute gay lord’ (don’t reckon he knew what it meant, he’d just heard it said somewhere) and I said shhhhh as his little sister was in earshot. But she (about 8) said it’s ok, I know what gay is, and lesbians. Kids are sponges.

You are incredibly homophobic.

The world has changed a lot. I’m 47 and by the end of primary school I was aware of sexuality. In the 80s there was massive awareness about AIDS and gay people. So I don’t think I was aware at 7 but I think - my dd2 was aware of gay people we know / in the media.

I am really glad our kids are growing up to see homosexuality as mainstream. My dc are at a v diverse school and it’s a very different experience to my childhood.

And yet people claim to think that their 11year olds believe in Santa!

How would they not know about sexuality? Sexuality isn't just being gay. He knows about boyfriends and girlfriends and husbands and wives and families surely? So he knows about sexuality, he has known from a very young age that men and women can live together, love each other, start a family presumably. That is sexuality.

Mine has known about lesbians and gay men and bisexuality from a very young age because I wanted to present it as no different from heterosexuality. My child when she was about 4 asked if she would have to be with a boy when she grew up, I said she could live by herself or she could be with a woman it didn't matter. So she said can girls kiss and marry other girls the ? Yes of course

surely by 7 they must all know that families come in different shapes and sizes. Single parents, stepfamilies, 2 mums or 2 dads, brought up by grandparents, adoption etc.

Gay characters are in kids’ shoes and books now

Tbf, DD has never watched a kids show or read s kids book with a gay character in it. She has, however, seen a lesbian kiss on EastEnders 😂

I had a crush on my teacher when I was 8 (I even had my mum (also a teacher at the same school) drive past where they lived). My mum teases me about it to this day (she also told the teacher as recently as this year).

Regards OP...from as early as I can remember I knew my cousin was gay (he's a year younger than me)...maybe when I was 6 or 7 I knew. This was 1987, so even then sexuality was widely known at that age.

My dd is in reception. Their topic this week is “weddings” and they talked in class about how women can marry other women and men can marry other men. She already knew that as there was a child in her nursery with 2 mums and she knows another child who has 2 dads.

Obviously at 4 she doesn’t have an understanding of what it means to feel sexual attraction and it would not be appropriate for her to. My 9 year old doesn’t understand that either - and so they don’t have a deep sense of why someone would choose to have a male rather than a female partner. But she and her classmates know that grownups can decide to make someone from either sex as their life partner and that is completely normal to them and not something they question.

I think it’s great that all types of relationship are now normalised from an age before children get embarrassed about the sexual aspects. That being said, I gather there is still a problem with homophobic language in the later stages of the primary school which the school is trying to stamp out, so things still aren’t perfect- but a lot better when I was a child.

A child in my class (yr1) told her peers that women who marry women and men who marry men make god very angry, and they won't get into heaven.

It caused a lot of upset amongst those children with gay relatives/friends etc.

I used the opportunity to talk about British values, including tolerance and inclusivity and that means everyone is free to love men or woman.

The parent of the child complained when she heard about the discussion from her child.

🤷🏼‍♀️
But yeah, kids are very aware nowadays from a young age, sometimes from other kids, and sometimes from poisonous adults. It's best to get in there early and promote positivity and understanding.

I’d have complained about your use of “British values.” That’s coded language and smacks of racism. Plenty of British people have issues with gay and lesbian people, British is traditionally a Christian country and plenty of Christians are homophobic.

Your discussion with your child could have been had without bringing race, ethnicity or nationality into it. The other child may also be white British with religious parents but if the child isn’t British, then you’d “British values” talk with your daughter was just thinly veiled racism.