Is a 10yo too young?

[nosoworried]

After looking for ages for a job, I have managed to find one, but that means I can not pick up my 10yo (Y6) from school. We have about 5 bus stops (10mins) to our home with about 15 mins walk to a bus stop from school. My 10yo finished 10mins earlier then my older child in Y9.
AINBU to think that it is ok for a younger child to wait for their older sibling by the school (both schools are 3 mins walk) and for them both to travel home together? Older sibling is ok with that (reluctantly, naturally!)
Dad will get home after an hour after children.
I have been SAHM (but running my own little business on the side) for as long as they were born, so, naturally, hyperventilating to let them out of my sight.
We live on the outskirts of London.

For me there are too many moments in the whole process where something could go wrong and it isn't fair for the 10 year old to have that responsibility. They're both just that bit too young still.

Sorry, probably not what you need to hear.

How long will your younger child have to wait for the older one?
Is your younger child Yr6 or Yr5?

I am very relaxed but with a 14yo 10 minutes can easily become 15 or even 20. Thats a very long time for a 10 year old to wait it will be dark in a couple of weeks. Is there no afterschool club ?

I think it sounds reasonable and would expect that your yr 6 child would probably be waiting less than 10 mins in reality due to chatting with friends on the way out.

I would, however, check both schools inset days etc correspond as you may need to have a back up plan for those. My DS’ secondary school has very different insets to my DD’s primary for example.

The other child is in year 9 so will be 13 or 14 so I think it’s absolutely fine. The year 6 will be at secondary school and making their own way home soon anyway. We are 40 miles from London and some of the pupils make that journey on their own by public transport every day to my DS1’s school (it’s a super selective grammar so attracts pupil from a wide area). If a 11 year old in year 7 can manage 40 miles on their own then a 10 year old can manage a short bus ride with an older sibling.

I traveled home a similar distance alone from year 5 onwards. Let myself in with a key and then watched an episode of the Pokémon anime before my parents got home. With a 13-14 year old with them they should be fine.

Maybe ask the younger ones teacher if they could keep an eye out to make sure they wait for their sibling for the first couple of weeks while they get used to the new arrangement.

So 10 year old walks 3 minutes to meet 13 year old, they walk 15 minutes together to bus stop which takes 10 minutes to reach your home. If you think they are both sensible enough to stick with this and the 10 year old is happy to do this then I would be OK with it. I don't live in London though, but you know the areas. I would probably get them to do a couple of trial runs first and go over emergency back up plans with them.

They are 10 and 13/14, not 9 and 10 years old as you seem to have read. The 10 year old is the younger sibling not the older.

I don't think it's very fair on a y9 child to have to go and collect a younger sibling every day. They will want to hang out with friends unless they have urgent homework.
I think you need a wraparound care/after school club for the 10yo to go to until DH is available an hour later.

Ah, I've read it wrong. In Scotland so we don't have Y9 so thought that was a 9 year old.

Yes, that seems more manageable as long as older sibling complies

I would let the y6 child to make their own way home. it's getting ready for high school and a good step towards a bit more independence. If that isn't an option (special needs or so), use an after school club? I don't think it's fair to put the onus for collection on the older sibling.

The biggest flaw in your plan would be the yr9 not appearing for whatever reason. Would your younger child know what to do?

I'd trust my 10 year old to do this providing the older one agreed and they both had phones in case of a change of plan or wherever.

I'd also make sure the 10 year old knew how to get home by himself in case of an emergency.

I used to pick my brothers and sisters from school when I was in year 9. It was fine, but I finished before them and I was the one waiting 10min.
It wasn't hardship for me and I enjoyed it. The odd days I couldn't make it, dm friend picked them up. I was old enough and I knew if I needed to do something something else I would need to tell dm in advance.

That sounds fine to me. Kids will still be hanging around at school so your youngest can effectively stay on school property. Only one more month to the shortest day. You need a contingency for if something happens and your teen doesn’t turn up.

Yes I think this is fine, there may even be other children that he can walk with to the big school and your eldest can coordinate the rest. Year 6 is a good age to take steps of independence.

do a practice run with him after school.

Vaguely chat about what to do in different situations - illness, lost pass, bag left on bus, weirdos approaching him, late out of school, missed bus, no busses, missing the bus stop, extreme weather

Plenty of Y6 kids round here get themselves home from school with no problem. It's a 'nice' area with plenty of people around. They mostly walk with groups of friends, but not all of them all the time, of course. My Y7 DS (who is in some ways a bit 'younger' than his classmates) gets himself home with no issues. It's a 25 minute walk.

I don't think it's out of the question to ask a Y6 child to make their own way home. I'd probably prefer the idea of him heading home than waiting for his sibling, somehow. A child travelling seems somehow less vulnerable than one hanging around on the street. If he waits at the primary school he could be there for 20 minutes quite routinely, even without anything going particularly wrong - 10 mins until the end of the secondary school day, another 3-5 for the walk, older child's teacher takes an extra 2 mins letting them out or he needs to speak to someone after school or forgot something in a different classroom etc. That's a long time to be hanging around alone on the street, in the dark at this time of year. And does the Y9 never have activities after school?

It probably depends on the child, and on the journey. Will he be in a busy area with plenty of people around? Are there safe pavements to walk? Is it well lit? Is he familiar with the journey, including catching the bus, or as he only travelled that way passively in the back of a car?

Would the secondary school be okay with your 10yo waiting inside reception? At least he'll be safe and dry while waiting for his sibling and there'll be adults around who can help in an emergency.

Make sure they both have a phone to tell each other if one will be late.

Check your eldest's schools policy on things like detentions, you don't want a same day detention.

Check with the youngest's school, they may be able to wait in reception.

Tbh I'd either put the year 6 in childcare or wait until they are in year 7 to get a job that's out of school hours.

I worked from home until mine were 12 and 14 .

I don't think it's very fair on a y9 child to have to go and collect a younger sibling every day. They will want to hang out with friends unless they have urgent homework.

What has happened to the world? Why can't a 14 year old be given some small responsibilities within the family? Wants come after needs. When i was a child (90s) it was absolutely a given that secondary age kids would walk younger siblings home from school. Few kids hung out after school, you had homework, jobs, chores at home, sports practise, music etc and it was common to have to be home minding younger siblings.

We ask too little of teenagers these days, it makes for spoiled youngsters who aren't used to pitching in and doing things for others.

Tbh I'd either put the year 6 in childcare or wait until they are in year 7 to get a job that's out of school hours.

Oh dfod. Its completely normal to work full time with primary aged kids, its called "keeping a roof over their head". Most year 6s will be fuming at being sent to an asc when they could go home with an older sibling.

socialising, hobbies, clubs, sports etc after school occasionally ie once or twice a week are so important for so many reasons

Why can't they just do it a bit later? Its only an hour and then their dad is home.