Is a 10yo too young?

[nosoworried]

After looking for ages for a job, I have managed to find one, but that means I can not pick up my 10yo (Y6) from school. We have about 5 bus stops (10mins) to our home with about 15 mins walk to a bus stop from school. My 10yo finished 10mins earlier then my older child in Y9.
AINBU to think that it is ok for a younger child to wait for their older sibling by the school (both schools are 3 mins walk) and for them both to travel home together? Older sibling is ok with that (reluctantly, naturally!)
Dad will get home after an hour after children.
I have been SAHM (but running my own little business on the side) for as long as they were born, so, naturally, hyperventilating to let them out of my sight.
We live on the outskirts of London.

I’m not being rude but it’s a question none of us can answer. As we don’t know the school and the surrounding area. There is nobody by my kids school 10 mins after pick up so they’d be quite vulnerable there alone. I also think a child stood waiting is more vulnerable than a moving child. My kids school also have an after school club which I’d use.
Do you know any school Mums? Maybe speak to them about solutions.

Nb our school the y6 would be allowed to just go home themselves.

If you want them to go together, id have the y6 walk to the y9s school to meet up as if it finishes 10 mins later there'll be lots of people milling around.

Yeah, our y5 and y6s can just go home by themselves, but owing to the catchment area, most primary school kids are in walking distance of home.

Unless this is a trip your kid can do on their own then I would be cautious. What happens if your older kid gets waylaid, needs to take an after school class, gets a detention? I think the logistics get tricky and potential for things to go wrong.

I let my dd go home on her own in year 6.
5 minutes walk from school to bus stop, 20 minutes bus ride, 10 minutes walk the other end.

The only problem was one day when she couldn't open the front door (the lock is awkward) so went next-door and asked if she could wait there until I got home.
Worth talking through what your dc would do in various scenarios.

One rainy afternoon my dd was spotted at the bus stop and offered a lift home by an adult she knows but refused because I had drummed into her that you don't go with any adult, even one you know, without checking with the adult who is responsible for you at the time.

That's something I would emphasise after cases like that of poor little April Jones (she thought her murderer was safe to go with because it was her friend's dad).

I dont think kids should be responsible for their siblings, also i dont think its faie that they potentially miss out on things in their life to care for their sibling.

If you think your younger one can take responsibility for themselves and could easily get themselves home then i think it would be fine, but waiting around in the rain and cold doesn't sound great.

Wouldn’t even question it. Most year 6’s make their own way home to prepare for secondary when they will be anyway. Your DC won’t even be alone because they have a teenage sibling who will be there too. It’s a no brainer imo, only cotton wool parents wouldn’t allow this.

If it was me I'd prefer the 10 year old to start making their way home. It's absolutely freezing where I am and your child could be waiting 15 minutes. Standing still is going to make them really cold.
My children were walking home from Easter of Y5, 20 minutes walk and it was fine.
Only you know if your 10 year old could cope by themselves but I think waiting for their older sibling would be more demanding. What if eldest is late? Or 10 year old isn't waiting where they are supposed to?
If your eldest finished first I'd have no issue with them picking up but in this case I'd let the 10 year old make their way home.

Doesn’t your Y9 do any clubs after school? See friends on a Friday? I think you need another back up plan as well for some days.

After school clubs and extra lessons normally take place within 5-10 minutes of the school day ending. This is because the school buildings needing to be locked up around 5-5:30pm.

Other clubs and hobbies normally start within an hour of the school ending.

The year 6 needs to be able to get home alone or go to after school care. I suspect after a month of being in after school care they will work out how to safely get home alone as they will be fed up with being stuck with 'babies" for an hour.

My Y6 and y4 DC walked home together ( not that long ago) so sounds fine to me. As others have said, might be better for Y6 child to just go home by themselves rather than hanging round outside a secondary school. Good luck with the job!

My daughter takes forever to come out of school- chatting/nipping to locker etc.

She also loves going to her friends houses (impromptu) or into town, after school clubs etc. All your older child’s freedom will be taken away from them and it’s likely they will become resentful.

On paper it’s a solution, but logically I think it’s flawed and unfair on your older child.

Younger child is Y6 and will be finishing at 3:25, walking literally round back of his school and reaching older child's school in 3 minutes. Older child finishes at 3:35.
90 % of younger child's classmates walking home by themselves- but they live much closer than we do, I think.

I’d let the year 6 make his own way home from school rather than waiting for sibling every day in case sibling has a club/detention/wants to spend time with friends.
A key attached to school bag and one in a key safe should help.
Mine were on their own for an hour after school some days at those ages.

In London 11YOs routinely do fairly long journeys on public transport to get to secondary school, so a 10YO with an older sibling isn’t a problem at all. I’m surprised you’re questioning that bit at all. Where I see it going wrong is that surely the older one might want to do things after school occasionally even if it’s just hanging out with friends and it would be unfair for them to always have to miss out because they’re on pick up duty. You need another solution I think. Can the 10YO come home by themselves or if that’s not feasible as it’s a complicated journey and/or they’re immature then could they do after school club a few times a week?

Sounds fine to me

Unfair on the older child who may want to chat with friends after school and having a ten year old tagging along could create a problem.

I think you need to be comfortable with the younger child potentially making that journey by themselves even if they routinely wait for the older sibling before agreeing to it.

Same day detentions are becoming increasingly common in Secondary school and whilst your child may normally never get them it only takes a forgotten PE kit or a detention loving supply to ruin your plan.

Our primary school won’t let any child be picked up by someone under the age of 16.

Where will your 10 year old wait? Your 14 year old doesn’t really want to do it and shouldn’t have to imo, it’s not their responsibility. I think you need a plan B.

How far did they walk?

Why are we now as a society so adamant that teens shouldn't be taking any responsibility?

Yeah teens probably do want to bum around after school with their mates, but tough, if there's something that they need to do to help out within the family, why not?

Teens are entitled enough without getting their own way over absolutely everything. My DD12 isn't EVER allowed to socialise after school as she has horses who need looking after and riding, after that it's homework, dinner, shower and bed.

I agree that the y9's possible need to socialise shouldn't take precedent over a parent being able to work and provide for the family.

Take the job OP.

I would probably ask the Y9 to help out until the spring and then tell the Y6 to make their own way home after Feb half term.ir Easter when they're older and a little more used to doing the journey without an adult.

Both children are sensible. Older, 14yo, goes to grammar school, so most of her classmates travel very long distances. She doesn't 'hang' with her friends after school, as everyone is going home. Both children will have phones with them. Younger knows the way home and is looking forward going on a bus every day, rather than a car. Luckily, they will have no roads to cross whatsoever.
The schools' area at a pick up time is full of children and parents. There are 2 primary and 2 secondary schools in very close proximity. Younger child will be waiting in an area where grammar school bus comes to pick up children from the grammar school- so that area is always full of waiting children, as school bus is always much later than 3:35. Can not take school bus, as it doesn't go towards our house. My 14yo is very responsible and will not leave her younger sibling alone en route to home.
If it was spring already, I would be more relaxedI think, but the days are getting shorter and darker and I am worried 😟

I see no problem with this whatsoever, if you live in a decent area that isnt absolutely rough or dangerous. I walked home from school at 9 without any siblings, I loved it, gave me a little sense of self and independence. Not bad for the 14 year old either as they have some responsibility too for the next year or so until other child starts secondary. By 11 I was making my way to and from secondary school by myself, and by 13 I had switched from school bus after school to the longer oyster card route which was 2 buses, probably 25 stops all together, 3 min walk between bus stops, and I also loved that. It helped build my independence and I'm glad I did it even if the reasons I did were similar to yours i.e. mum and dad working and unavailable.

This was late 2000s btw 15 years go

To add it would be a good idea to do a danger pep talk o they know what to do in case of an emergency however unlikely, for example dip into a garden and knock asking for mum if they see any weirdos lurking around. As unlikely as it is, it's better it's been discussed so they have their wits about them
Maybe say no headphones while walking.to and waiting for older sibling so they are aware of surroundings