Sister hanging out with my ex?

[guessagainnn]

AIBU in this situation, or do i just go along with it and not over think?

Me and my ex partner separated around 5 years ago, it had ended poorly on my part which i take responsibility for completely. I have since moved on, have a partner and 2 beautiful children.

My sister who is much younger than me bumped into my ex (who i should add was very much a big part of our family when we were together) and have since been meeting up and going on days out etc. Its not uncommon knowledge to know that my sister had a major crush on my ex when we were together, not sure if she still has those feelings. However after their outing today, he was invited back into the family home and spent a few hours with my parents like 'old times'. Barring in mind he must have felt a tad bit uncomfortable with photos of me, my children around etc.

Anyway, AIBU to think that this is a bit if a strange situation, how do i even deal with this? Or should i just accept it and leave it as its not my business?

The absolute audacity this man has to put his feet back under your parents table when he's already dated one sister 🤣 I'd be cringing so hard and if they're in it for the long haul then fair play. But I'd be super uncomfortable by his presence.

are they dating or did he just pay your parents a social call

If you asked your sister what's going on, would she tell you the truth?

Did your ex know your sister when she was a child? And what are their ages now?

How weird.
Your sister is bound to be embarrassed if the relationship fails.
Are you able to talk with her and see how serious she sees them?
You can't really do any thing though I think it is your sister who is doing the wrong thing and ensuring that you and she will not share trustworthy sister confidences.

How do your parents feel?
How old is your sister? Is there any chance that she is dating someone of unequal maturity - someone who is taking advantage of her natural deference to him?

Toenailz 'nailz' it.

yuk! I wouldn't. entertain any man who has been near my sister. Its just too messy for everyone.

Im so sorry @Poinsetta2023 for how you were treated, that is truly disgusting behaviour from everyone who should have supported you.

Dd3 absolutely adored dd1's bf who she went out with for about 5 years. He'd buy her lovely presents, Christmas jumpers etc, was always sitting on his knee. She is 16 next month and it would be very weird if ex bf (now 31 and unattached) became an item! He did become a bit of a stalker after they split so I really wouldn't like it, even though he was lovely when they were a couple . It would also be a big age gap so hopefully very unlikely.
If your dsis has really fallen for your exbf I think perhaps have a little word with her but I think you have to accept it.

Just to clarify there are 16 years between dd1 and dd3 so dd3 was about 4 when they started dating.

I'm on Ancestry a lot and it was relatively common in Victorian times to marry your wife's sister if the wife died.

Thats so weird, fair enough they might fancy each other but most people in this situation wouldn’t cross the line and go there. My sister would and has done this, she would get a kick out of it by bringing them home to prove like she had one up on me. I’ve always ignored her behaviour and acted like I don’t care and these things have fizzled out. Just leave them to it, there’s nothing you can do to change the situation but you can control how you react to it. you’re happy now and if you see him with her at your parents just act friendly and pretend it doesnt bother you. If either of them are after a reaction don’t give them anything. X

I’ve skim read the thread and find it slightly disturbing that people are overthinking to the level of ‘he’s been inside both sisters’.

I accept that I’m pretty good at compartmentalising so often don’t get the angst that other people display over things but in this instance, if there’s no emotion left and he’s a nice bloke why wouldn’t you be happy that your sister is in a relationship with him? It’s never happened in our family but I’m friends still with a few of my exes and we’re all just really happy for eachother when things are going well.

It sounds everyone has moved on mentally and emotionally except the OP.

Apart from being so inappropriate, the potential age differences here is making it sound quite creepy. You say she is a lot younger than you and he is her first partner. How young is she? Is he just using her as some kind of power trip? Back spending time in your parents house and you have no say in it?

I can’t believe there’s anyone on this thread saying this isn’t beyond weird😦 I’ve two sisters and the idea of being with someone they’d already been with (or vice versa) is just too gross 🤢 that’s without the added element of your sister being mucho younger than you and having a (well known??) crush on him when you were with him. I can’t believe your parents entertained it tbh. Baffling all round.

This. There are literally billions of men in the world to pick from, she needs to choose another. It's way too weird, and really unkind of your sister.

I thought this. If OP cheated, is this some kind of twisted payback?

The sister should know not to go there, though. It's weird.

Maybe by going out with your sister he's found an "ideal" opportunity of getting back at you after your relationship ended badly? He knew she fancied him and is making the most of it. It would give me the ick but just ignore.

@Poinsetta2023
I wish you well, what an awful thing to happen. I hope you are good.

That would be gross and weird of the OP.

Totally, 100% agree with this. I am creeped out by that level of detail, and I think it says more about the people who think that way than it does about the OP's sister and ex.

It's not as clear to me as it seems to others that they're actually dating or hanging out in a romantic sense 🫤. My sister had one significant exbf (sadly now passed away) and my brother has two exgfs. All three of them were big parts of our family, and with me being the youngest by quite a bit they were almost like additional older siblings - we'd hang out, they'd ask about my life and give advice, and when I was a bit older I'd go down the pub or to house parties etc with them and my actual siblings. I remember being gutted when those relationships failed as each of those people were a big part of my life as a teen and young adult.

Thankfully my siblings remained on good terms with them all too and we all still see them (well, the exgfs, and the exbf before he passed) and interact on SM, text etc. Admittedly I never had a crush on any of them(!) but is there no chance it could be this rather than them actually dating/hooking up? If they are though that is beyond weird and would make me feel quite ill so you have my sympathies 🤢

It’s weird - I’m surprised so many posters think it’s fine.

It doesn’t matter that you’ve both moved on - isn’t it an unwritten rule you don’t date family or friends ex partners?

I hate this word but it’s ‘icky’ of your sister and ‘icky’ of your ex.

Shouldn't this thread be "Ex hanging out of my sister"?

A bit strange of both of them but given you've been broken up for a while, nothing that wrong with it. Stay out of it. Hope it fizzles out.

That's disgusting, frankly. Why are people on here so weirdly hung up on sex??