My special needs DS being repeatedly rejected for activity clubs

[SNmum23]

My DS is 5 and has a diagnosis of ASD who attends a school for autistic children.

I also have a daughter, age 4, with no disabilities who attends a mainstream school.

As my children are in receipt of free school meals they have been awarded 4 "credits" each in the form of a digital voucher from their schools which allows me to book them into activities with approved and participating holiday activity clubs over the winter break.

Every club I have tried to sign DS up to has rejected him saying they cannot meet his needs on account of his autism.

His needs are not profound, he has a restricted diet in line with his autism but I'm more than happy to provide food from home as I do with school. He doesn't require much more supervision than a neurotypical 5 year old. He is referred to by his school as "high functioning" and actually, he's alot "easier" to mind than my DD. Sure he needs to be kept an eye on but every 5yo does. Are they planning to leave all of the children to their own devices?

The clubs that rejected him have accepted my DD into the clubs with no issue, but I'll be damned if I allow him to be left out so it looks like neither of them are going.

These activity providers shouldn't be signing up to the scheme if they are unwilling to accept disabled children. I'm going to speak to DS' school tomorrow and let them know, I can't imagine they will be happy either.

AIBU to feel really upset by this? My poor boy.

YABVU
So DD missies out because DS is autistic? Where is the logic there? That’s just going to cause resentment.

Why can’t you do a fun activity at home with DS whilst DD attends one?

I'm sorry if he doesn't need much more support than an non autistic child why is he in a specialist school? You need and EHCP to get a specialist school and significant need. If he doesn't have that level of need then why are you taking a place from children who desperately need that level of support but cannot even access school because there are no places?

I also got 4 credits. I also can't get a provider to take my autistic son. The difference is my son is out of school for 2 years now because his needs are so significant he needs specialist autism school but there are no places. It's ripped my family apart.

Also cubs will let your child attend if you attend with him as 1:1. They are volunteers not specialist providers

My 'high functioning' autistic child should on the surface cope with mainstream clubs. But, she doesn't. She cannot cope with the noise and chaos of NT children.

She now attends an ASN swim lesson and swim club rather than the group lesson and local club.

Scouting has been a success though. We found an entirely outdoor group not far away. The NT noise is far easier to cope with outdoors.

DD2 attends entirely different groups to give her a break from DD1.

I do realise how lucky we are to have an EHCP. In our case I think the special needs nursery really helped. Developmentally, he was like a different child at the point of being awarded.

School are talking about prepping him for mainstream so I don't know what that means for his EHCP at the moment.

Don't let your daughter miss out. 2 wrongs don't make a right.

I think this is terrible. How is this even allowed? It’s disability discrimination. I would feed this back to the clubs & school & you can mention the disability discrimination act when you do.
On a separate note I’m so pleased your DS has come on so well!

Why do your kids get the vouchers for these activities?

I think you've misread @Sprinkles211 The vouchers were given as the family are free school meals, not because the child attends a SEN school.

I agree it's poor @SNmum23 , but the companies running these holiday clubs are businesses. They are considering their bottom line. Some children with SEN need extra adults to keep them, and the other children, safe. The risk assessments demand it.

The business have ratios they need to work on, and employing extra adults for 1:1/1:2 is not cost effective. Therefore, they say they can't meet need.

I'm not saying it's right, but it's how it is.

It's difficult. Most of these clubs are non-profit and the staff are often volunteers. Schools/government may parrot on about making everything inclusive but don't back it with funding or provision to make it happen.

Ultimately you go to a football coach and say they must take him or its discrimination, then what? Coach will be removed from the job? They weren't getting paid for it anyway, and there is no one to take their place so now there is no football club for anyone

When people are donating their time for free, they can make a decision about who they want to cope with. Your DS may not seem to require much extra attention to you, but they may have zero experience dealing with an autistic child. They will have ratios. If your DS gets overwhelmed and runs off - they may not have the staff ratios to allocate someone to run after him. What if he gets hurt? Or another child while they're out of ratio because they were dealing with your son?

They need dedicated support to take on your son and don't have it. That's not their fault. They're being told they should take him, but those making the rules that they should aren't giving them the support they need to be able to.

It means that the named setting on his EHCP will change from Special to Mainstream. It means the provision on his EHCP will change.

It doesn't necessarily mean the EHCP will cease, unless he's doing exceptionally well. The LA would be mad to move from Special to Mainstream without funding for the transition and support to settle in and adapt.

I'm sorry, its shit isn't it?

You have inspired me to approach the council directly. It's not right for funding to be awarded and just sitting there unused.

I don't understand how these provisions can be offered to special needs children if they cannot be catered for. Surely there must be some dialogue between the providers and the local authority? Do they really not realise that children with special needs are being given vouchers and signposted to their provisions?!

Can I ask, what department did you speak to when you complained to the council? I'm going to call first thing tomorrow.

These sorts of settings are often largely staffed with very young, inexperienced and only barely trained folk, often PE students. I’m not sure how comfortable I would feel leaving any child in that sort of setting, esp one who needs help with ch she to routine/transitions etc.

Was your son awarded the voucher because of his SEN, or was he awarded the voucher for another reason?

If the council are providing these vouchers, they need to make sure there is either specialist provision for disabled children or provide staff fir the 1-1 bits they need.

But.... its probably money.

Surely your children would be interested in different activities, so saying your DD can't go to any at all, due to her brother, seems bonkers IMO! 😕

Surely you need to go back to whoever is providing the vouchers! If some children are SEN, then the vouchers need to reflect clubs/activities which are suitable for such children.

If the vouchers are specifically for SEN children and their siblings, then there should be funding for them.

If they have been awarded for another reason, then all that your son is entitled to is a reasonable adjustment, and it's unusual for a child of 5 to be in a specialist setting without needing significant adjustments.

Honestly they're probably being told they have to be part of the scheme to be registered or insured or something. The clubs won't want to be part of the scheme, they know they don't have the ability to provide adequately.

They know, they just can't do shit about it. And like anything else (e.g. free hours childcare) you may have a voucher, but that voucher won't nearly cover the actual cost of the place.

I didn't tell people had asd until further along (permission slip) but she wasn't at specialist school. If your ds has severe enough needs for specialist school I'm guessing private providers may not be able to meet his needs. Your local council will provide some activities but they tend to be for 8+ mine went to sn playscheme from a bit older (siblings could attend) but you had to be working to qualify

On what basis and for what reason have they said he cannot attend?

Is it a blank refusal for all children who go to the special school, or is based on an assessment of him?

My DC has no SEN and I was still nervous about sending him to an unfamiliar holiday club aged 5. It's a new routine, unfamiliar caregivers, a lot for a small kid to cope with and I only did it because I had to work and his regular afterschool club was closed. Unless you need the free food I'm not sure I'd send either kid at this stage. I know others won't agree, just offering another perspective.

As he is not in a mainstream school setting at the moment, the club probably feel they won’t be able to offer appropriate specialist provision.

It also sounds quite stressful for a child who likes routine. All the different noisy activities and lots of unknown kids and adults.

Feel really sad for your daughter that you would stop her going

I have also had my DS excluded from an activity club but I complained. He also goes to a specialist school.

I agree and sympathise with almost everything OP but one thing does stand out - you don’t seem to have passed on any information about your DSs extra needs and how to accommodate them. And he almost certainly will need some kind of extra accomodation, even if it is to ‘let him’ do things like retreat from activities, does he understand instructions, what triggers him. To be in specialist school my DS does need extra accommodations and I pass these on to any activities ahead of time - and go in and chat with them personally as well.

This is as much for DSs wellbeing as anything.

Excuse me, DD already has hobbies and opportunities to do lots of things independently of DS.

She does drama and dance every week, she gets an extra holiday every year when we (me and her) go away to haven with my good friend and her daughter, whilst DS goes away with his dad and brother.

She is on a waiting list for rainbows.

I know all about glass children and the difficulties they face as the result of having a sibling with additional needs.

She doesn't miss out on anything.

Why would I send her somewhere I feel has discriminated against her brother?

For those who asked;

Only one of the three provisions have expanded on their decision to refuse DS, citing potential staffing issues and how they might not have enough adults to ensure he gets the level of supervision he might need. Note their use of the word might, IE assumed, because I certainly haven't said anything about the need for a 1-1.

Have you tried phoning any of these providers and telling them what you’ve told us? I’m unimpressed that they just gave you a flat no. Some activities might not be suitable but how can anyone risk assess without speaking to a parent?

Providers contracted by the council should do their very best to accept disabled or neurodiverse children. Experienced providers should welcome a chat with a parent about how best to ensure everyone has a positive experience and stays safe, what to do in the event of a problem.

There will be boundaries because funds and capacity are limited. If a child needs 1:1 support for example, you cannot expect the provider to offer this, but the child should be able to attend if they bring their own 1:1.