Very shaken neighbour incident

[Shakennotstirred1]

We don't speak to our neighbours. They are very difficult people & after a string of incidents previously we are no contact.
However today DH was out our front garden (terrace house attached to our neighbours) & hung up a santa with fishing wire.
About an hour later we heard a crash against the window & DH ran out. The neighbour climed a little ladder & had cut the wire & the decoration crashed against the window.
DH roared what are you playing at. The neighbour was roaring the fishing line (which was invisible) was over his garden (it wasn't, was completely in our garden) & then proceeded to call my DH a fat c**r & called him out onto the footpath for a fight.
DH lost the rag back at him but thankfully didn't rise to the bait.
I'm very shaken & after a tough year was excited to put up the decorations with my girls.
Don't know what the next move should be, part of me wants to get even but I just don't want any more agro with them...

This may be controversial and not the most popular answer, and I would hate to have to make this choice myself, but if you had 2 years without incident, is it possible that things might go back to normal if you do nothing? Taking action of any kind might cause things to escalate further, as well as being problematic if you decide to move. I would suggest taking some time to calm down and breathe, and really think through whether rising to the bait, even in a measured way by reporting the incident, may not lead to the peace and quiet you want and deserve.

I hope things improve, whatever you decide to do or not do.

Why are people suggesting OP sells her house and moves?
Moving home is a drastic action.
Daft neighbours are everywhere

This is true

Everyone saying 'call the police' it won't be high on the list of importance

@GirrlCrush we're in a quiet area, I was mortified when the police turned up at our door...

Sending hugs OP we are going through an awful time with difficult neighbours and no contact now so I understand what it's like
Just keep ignoring them don't rise to anything at all or give them ammunition they sound neurotic just like ours. Regarding the incident today they are the ones out of order and sounds like all to cause a reaction and provoke. I would ring 101 and get advice, don't report them but just get advice on what's going on. Or go to citizens advice and ask them for any advice. huge hugs

It's horrible isn't it. Think as we have gone so long incident free it's a complete shock to the system. Part of me wants to retaliate but the other part just wants my quiet life.. So childish over a plastic santa...

To be fair, I wouldn't be happy if my neighbours put up a big tacky Santa decoration. Violence and vandalism aren't the answer though.

Ours are being childish over us offering to walk another neighbours dog and being helpful, don't get me started lol it's been absolutely pathetic.
We've had to go no contact due to other various issues but this has been the last straw
I understand what you mean about it being a long time incident free you finally think it's the end of it then something else happens 😔

I would report them to the police so it's on record.
Maybe he will do something worse the next time.
I would mention that he is trespassing, damaging your property and asking for physical altercation and maybe also legal advice on it. I'd perhaps send them a letter from a solicitor so the whole thing is on record and they know where they stand.

You need to report this to the police.

YABU: Hanging up a large Santa next to his house in NOVEMBER!! I really wouldn’t like to live next door to you. However your neighbours behaviour was awful.

I'd report them to the police, hand over the footage then just completely ignore them at all times, what's the point of engaging in anything further when this is the way that they are and to a degree, that is what they want ; something they can make out was more than it is and probably call the police on you again.

DP needs to get on board as well, if he's approached again outside I'd ask him that he just go inside and/or remind them that you will continue to report to the police any instance of them on your property, any damage or attempt at it and any talk of violence, in a calm as voice as possible and then just walk into the house as normal and ignore ignore ignore.

We've a house like this in our road, an retirement age couple. Thank goodness not immediately our own neighbours but my god that doesn't stop them from trying to make a scene whenever they can, however tenuous, they've got about 10 cameras on the front of the house, are constantly peering our their window or camped out the front of the house on a chair just making sure nobody is near their property or car. I can only assume they have significant personal problems, it's a nice enough road, nothing has ever happened to them or their home and the whole road avoids them so they're reduced to sitting in their front garden accusing anyone walking past of looking at them/looking at their house etc ad nauseum. I honestly think there'd be a street party if they left.

Oh fgs

We have a family near us that put up huge inflatable santas and snowmen.

I wouldn't do it, but they are the nicest people out there. Very kind and generous and all the children love the display.

So unless you live in a Grade II listed area stop being Grinches!

Report on 101, mentioning you have had previous issues. My friend lived next to a nightmare neighbour and it escalated from things like this to years of harassment, she wished they had reported at this stage rather than try to ignore and then facing increasingly batshit behaviour.

Their decorations are up too, he took offence as he perceived our little santa on his property, basically that santa was crossing the line between our terraced house, it wasn't...

Not grade II listed, it's a new new build estate!

Off topic, but if you have any equity in your house you use that as deposit for next one. That said, I think you have to declare problems with neigh.

There's only another week left in November, calm yourself down

If you report it to the Police it then becomes a declarable dispute so think long and hard about your plans before you do that.

Completely understandable that you cant afford to move. "Move house!" is always thrown out but the reality is it costs money to move house (the Halifax reckon on average £12,000) so if you need to grit your teeth to save that for a year or two keep your powder dry for now.

I’d log it, especially as you’ve got it on record. I’d be inclined not to put Santa back up as they sound completely unhinged. Focus on your indoor decorations.

@AdobeWanKenobi we would definitely be open to moving once the dc start secondary but it's not an option now.
I know the police is probably the best option but I was wondering if there was any sly revenge? Obviously violence & harrassment are not an option!

It’s not as easy as just moving! You need to be able to afford solicitors fees etc. Plus the market is so slow at the moment . I’m the meantime NDN is still threatening violence. OP .. contact the police especially if you have footage . They might agree to have a word . They might not but at least you will have tried

People saying "just move" like it's finding a new parking space.

Interest rates?
House prices?
Cost and fees?
Hassle?

Santa's up but hung differently so it's nowhere near the boundary line!

Whether or not you'd be 'happy' about what someone chooses to put in their own garden is irrelevant though. Other people don't have to pander to the personal tastes of their neighbours. People can be as unhappy as they like about their neighbours' Christmas decorations, but they should keep their unhappiness to themselves because it's absolutely none of their business.

I speak as someone whose neighbours have a garden that seems to be a space where massive plastic broken kids' toys and semi-deflated paddling pools go to die. I'm obviously not a fan of that look, but I wouldn't feel I had any reasonable right to be 'unhappy' about it.