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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To refuse getting the neighbours parcels in

78 replies

karpouzi · 23/11/2023 12:24

There is a lovely couple staying on the flat below us that they are very often out and about. We are in very good terms but I have started getting pissed off that we have to get all their deliveries in. There is definitely one parcel a day, sometimes they can be two or three. Recently they were away for 4 days and they had 5 deliveries coming which we had to store until they are back. I appreciate you cannot always control when the deliveries come in but surely they knew that they will be away. We have a very narrow entrance (as we live in a period home) that is usually packed with a stroller, kids bike etc. plus I have to run 3 flights of stairs to open the delivery guy. AIBU to start refusing their deliveries? My partner is against that as they have occasionally. What should I do?

PS Even the EVRI delivery guy told me today that our neighbours have a parcel everyday and they are never there.

OP posts:
AdoraBell · 23/11/2023 15:32

YANBU tell the delivery driver you can’t accept the parcels, or if you can see them without opening the door then don’t answer for the next few days.

WeeSleekitCowrinTimrousBeastie · 23/11/2023 15:38

The volume is unfair. They need to make alternative arrangements.

Headshoulderscheeseontoast · 23/11/2023 16:09

There's so many other options for parcels now, you can get them delivered to pick up places instead of your home. If I was your neighbour I be doing that because I'd feel like i was taking the piss with the amount you've taken in for them

mylittleprince · 23/11/2023 16:09

Assuming they buzz your flat? I'd just keep saying sorry I'm in a teams meeting I can't come down and collect it.

YireosDodeAver · 23/11/2023 16:12

Yanbu. We decline parcels for neighbours because they were taking the piss. They actually gave our address as their 'safe place' without even asking us

Jewelspun · 23/11/2023 16:13

Don't take them in? Why is it such a big deal? If the parcel isn't for you, say no.

DriveMeCrazy1974 · 23/11/2023 16:15

You're not being unreasonable. I am always being asked to take neighbour's parcels in just because I'm in the home all day. I'm not their bloody lackey - if you've got a delivery, organise it for a time you'll be there.
I used to be nice and do it, but after somebody refusing to take in a parcel for us just because the flat number wasn't on it (even though our name was and the rest of the address was - it was quite obvious it was for us), I'll no longer put myself out for others.
Also, when something goes missing and you're basically blamed for it, even when it hasn't entered your home, it kind of makes you not want to be helpful again.
If you're feeling nice, maybe just say to them that you're not able to take parcels in any more and they'll have to sort something else out. At least you'll have warned them, then.

doitwithlove · 23/11/2023 16:48

It would be a straight NO from me if I was asked to take in a parcel for my neighbours.

They are selfish, entitled people who I do not talk to.

LlynTegid · 23/11/2023 17:07

One or two in the run up to Christmas would be reasonable. Not the volume stated.

ReallySeriouslyNope · 23/11/2023 17:32

Last Christmas I started refusing to take in parcels for my neighbour. They were taking the piss. I work at home and I was being disturbed all the time. I told the Evri driver not to bother anymore - luckily he was a regular driver so it stopped.

Like pp said, there are other options now. Most deliveries can be collected from pickup points.

Northernladdette · 23/11/2023 19:28

Sugarfish · 23/11/2023 15:10

I don’t take parcels in because I don’t like my neighbours. I probably would do if I did, but I wouldn’t drop them round. Up to them to collect them.

I didn’t like my neighbours in my last house. We didn’t speak. She wouldn’t take parcels in for me (I never had a lot) but I always did for them. I used to love seeing them squirm when they came to collect them 😂😂

paddlinglikecrazy · 23/11/2023 19:39

When they knock and say they have a delivery for flat 2, just reply, Well you have the wrong flat then & shut the door 😆

I’ve had neighbours leave parcels with me for days, I agree it’s a pain in the arse.

CapitalKnockers · 23/11/2023 19:50

I've had a similar problem very recently and this is how I've dealt with it - so new neighbour changed their house number to a house name thats almost identical to ours, which confused delivery people. Neighbour gets multiple parcels every single day (no lie), at least one Amazon delivery a day plus others most days. Our house is first so delivery guys would just leave it at ours. If we caught them on the doorstep I would redirect the driver but most of them dump and run.

It got very annoying very quickly. DP wouldn't speak to the neighbour about it, and would very helpfully text neighbour every time it happened to let them know we had their parcels. So there was no need for them to sort it out. After some months of this, I would refuse to text the neighbour if we had a parcel, which meant they had to do the chasing. There were days when we were out so their parcels got left on our doorstep and rained on. I just made it as much of an inconvenience for the neighbour as possible. It's worked, we don't get many of their parcels now.

Original poster
karpouzi · 23/11/2023 20:23

That's a great idea! I might ask them to give me their keys

OP posts:
Mumsanetta · 23/11/2023 20:25

karpouzi · 23/11/2023 20:23

That's a great idea! I might ask them to give me their keys

Edited

Why? What’s so hard about just saying no to frequent deliveries?

BreatheAndFocus · 23/11/2023 20:27

YANBU. Evri have collection points locally. Tell your neighbour you won’t be available to take in parcels and point them towards the nearest collection point (often a small local shop so very close).

OnTheBoardwalk · 23/11/2023 20:32

Next door are always getting deliveries that end up at my house. Even the kids that have left home years ago get next day delivered parcels that ended up with me

i work from home so the delivery guys always came to me. I don’t have any week days deliveries myself as I’m usually on a Teams chat with several people most of the day

i felt a bit mean saying an outright no so I said ‘nope I’m going out in a minute and won’t be in'. Bit of a cowards answer but it works

Samlewis96 · 23/11/2023 20:36

Get a bloody ring doorbell. You can see if it's a delivery bloke. If you've not ordered anything ignore it

Ee1498 · 23/11/2023 20:37

YANBU. An occasional parcel or being asked in advance (when they can't control the delivery date) is fine. But most places give you the option to collect from a pick up point, so they could do that and are choosing not to.
I'd suggest purchasing a don't not disturb, don't knock or ring the bell sign (Amazon sell them.) You can put the sign on the door at times when you know your neighbors are away or during the working day. Which should deter the delivery people.

Grimchmas · 23/11/2023 20:42

YANBU. 3 flights of stairs and interrupting every blooday dsy is too much. Start refusing them.

AnnieSnap · 23/11/2023 21:55

If they are otherwise good neighbours, just talk to them about the issues. Don’t just refuse to accept the deliveries without doing that. Why does it so often not occur to people to just have a conversation? 🤷‍♀️

LowLevelGrumpMostly · 23/11/2023 23:21

You should definitely complain about who is storing strollers and kids bikes in the entrance hall. Sounds like a fire hazard and might make it easier for everyone to receive parcels and post.

LowLevelGrumpMostly · 23/11/2023 23:31

If the buggy is the OP’s I’d be minded to take the parcels in as they sound like very tolerant neighbours to put up with other people’s kids bikes and buggies outside. Tenant advice services are always adding tenants to report neighbours who clutter up communal access because of the fire safety consequences. Stuff like that really should be kept in your own flat.

SunsetApple · 23/11/2023 23:52

I’ve stopped taking my neighbour’s parcels in. Mostly because they aren’t very pleasant. I don’t feel at all guilty and they could have them delivered to a parcel shop if they wanted.

Theprincessisblanketed · 24/11/2023 06:40

AnnieSnap · 23/11/2023 21:55

If they are otherwise good neighbours, just talk to them about the issues. Don’t just refuse to accept the deliveries without doing that. Why does it so often not occur to people to just have a conversation? 🤷‍♀️

But the neighbours aren't doing anything wrong?
It's the delivery people who have decided that rather than leave it in a safe place or attempt redelivery another time they will just dump everything with the OP. So it's the delivery people who need to be told sorry no.