What do you do when random old men just start lecturing you?

[Wildo]

Have a builder in to do some work. Talking to him is painful as he just bemoans the modern world - emails are pointless, back in my day we just used paperwork etc. Goes into REALLY long explanations that are a complete tangent on boring building regulations - health and safety gone mad blah blah. Am I just supposed to go along??

I smile and nod.

"Mhm" intermittently while mentally running through my to do list.

He literally spend 15 mins talking about hatches and gas needing to be very x amount along etc. We’re not even doing that in the house. Gahh

Brisk: Right, mustn't keep you chatting as I know you are busy with [THE JOB I AM PAYING YOU TO DO!!!!]

Typos. Hatches needing to be x amount along a gas pipe**

I sometimes feel like this at work lol. I work on a very specific part of the building design, 90% of a project meeting isn't really relevant to me. People have had a hour long conversation about tiles in the past, riveting stuff :P

I can’t bare the lectures. But feel like I have to be polite. I try shutting down the conversations but there’s ALWAYS something

I don't know but I need to know!!!

At least it wasn't aimed at you, one in the park the other day started laying into me because I am a SAHM and I have a cleaner.

I got very emotional about life being too short, very rational response 😬😆

But yes I've been stuck in these situations before and I'm too British to shut it down!

Well, he's a builder that you employed and he's in your house, so hardly a "random" man. But yes just nod and says hmmm and then excuse yourself.

Smile and nod because he is working in your house and you don’t want to piss him off. Set your phone to ring after 5 minutes before you start talking to him. Or agree with everything he says, but more so, so he wants to get away from you.

My mum said it worked with Jehovah Witnesses who called at her door.

Truly random men in the street, say anything you want, even if it’s only to make screeching noises at them.

Am I just supposed to go along?

No! Why would you think that.

Just talk over him and say light heartedly oh dear! You need to get with that times don't you! I'm going to go and get some work done, see you later.

. But feel like I have to be polite

You can still be polite and handle the situation differently. Like "oh that's difficult, times change! I'm off to do the bla bla bla."

Nod and smile then make your excuses to leave.

Although from your title I assumed they were actually lecturing you on how to do things rather than just moan or make conversation about life in general. Former is not acceptable, latter is human nature and a form of social bonding.

Fair, I guess he’s not lecturing me personally just going on these long tirades

Pick a keyword the lecture and latch onto that. Say paperwork oh that reminds me I must pop to post office to pay whatever/fill in form for something etc.

Old? If he's working I guess he's not very elderly. Nice ageism OP.

What does his age have to do with it? Do you need to describe him as 'old'?

I'm not sure age or gender come into it - it's personality surely - although conspiracy theorists (which he kinda reminds me of) - do tend to be male

“Ok. Right. Mm. sorry to interrupt you, I’m going to go now.”

We had a guy at work who was a master of this - whenever you would ask him a question (especially if work related!!) he’d go “Oh yeah, we MUST talk about that” then slowly back out of the room while still saying “Let’s talk some other time I have a .. thing..” step back “you know with the…” point at random part of the building “so have to…” point again, run off, shout “but let’s talk!!”

And age and gender DO come into it, don’t be naive. Older men see a younger woman and immediately go “She needs something explained to her.”

Meanwhile women “have to be polite” so just smile and nod and make these men feel brilliantly useful instead of punching them in the teeth like we want to.

Well the first part about emails, Builders can't really stop and check their phones while they are digging foundations, or pouring cement, but quite often, the sender expects a fairly quick response.
Secondly, a question about the gas... it depends on the work being done. Some of these things really need to be planned and sorted before work begins.
Generally, I am out of the way when buiders are working (recent work at our house)

Earlier I was on the phone to a lady at work who started banging on about '15 minute cities' and COVID being 'all about control' etc - the usual nonsense.
This was a professional call to discuss a fairly in-depth issue - I couldn't get a word in edgeways for all the gibberish!

I have no idea why these people feel the need to lecture people at all, I made it pretty clear from my repeated attempts to interject that I didn't want to share her tinfoil hat or otherwise engage in such a pointless conversation.

In the end I had to end the call and email a condensed version of my query over - so far, no reply and we're at 3 hours and counting.
Maybe she's hiding in a bunker somewhere!

I play a little lady, “let me get my husband for you, I have no idea about this stuff haha/have to sort the laundry/dinner/kids”

Only works if you have an available man around the house

I mentioned he’s older cause none of the young guys do this.

I was driving my son's car a while ago, complete with L plates as I was on my way to collect him and he was driving home. I was in the correct lane and went straight on at a minor roundabout, and I didn't indicate (my car is a large german branded SUV and I am, as a consequence of this, unfamiliar with the concept of indicators). An old man was driving incredibly close behind me, flashing his lights and waving his arms wildly at me. I pulled in to the petrol station with the primary aim of refuelling the car, but fleetingly wondered if he had being valiantly attempting to alert me to the sudden deflation of a tyre or some other motoring based disaster not of my making. Unfortunately he was taking exception to my poor standard of driving plus the fact I had an L plate on the car (it was permanent for very dull reasons I won't go into). He proceeded to lament my diabolical driving standards at quite an unnecessary volume for a protracted period of time across the forecourt. When he eventually ran out of steam I nodded and smiled and went in to pay for my fuel. As I was leaving I noticed him shuffling along, looking at a range of pasties so I leant towards him and said very quietly 'I hope your day improves - it must be very draining being so angry all the time, you'll make yourself ill. Have a lovely day', smiled and left. His face was awesome, a mixture of confusion and rage.

I was (probably?) in the wrong with my lack of indicating, I'm not a great driver but I don't need random strangers lecturing me, I am brutally aware of my failings already. Also my son passed so I can't be such a terrible instructor!!